Thursday, 31 July 2008

The One That Wants To Bow Out In Style Like This. . .

A civil servant colleague of mine has left the building (a reccurring theme in my work-place at present) his 'Out of Office Assistant' now returns the following (sanitised) message when you send an email to his account:

'Fortunately I no longer work for XXXXX. I have escaped the Peoples' Socialist Republic of Britain and will be enjoying the benefits of a civilised country.'

He's off with his good lady wife to live in British Columbia, and I wish them the best of luck. It's an idea I am giving very serious consideration to.

Would the last person out please switch off the lights?

Wednesday, 30 July 2008

The One That Knows This Is Going To Happen Again And Again. . .

It is now silly season. Unfortunately this doesn't mean that I don't have to be in the office until October. This season means that we'll see plenty of stories like this over the next few weeks:

A passer-by was questioned under terrorism laws for taking a picture of a police car he thought was illegally parked.

Apparently the police officers considered that this act represented a 'security threat.'

God how I hate that phrase. Security reasons - the new mantra of totalitarianism. Are we honestly, truthfully, expected to believe that some guy taking a photo of a panda car is a threat to national security? We all know what they look like, they can be seen on the news, in the paper at any time. I have a colleague who, for reasons best known to himself, is considering making a reference book about police cars. Images of cop cars are not hard to come by.

Security threat? Give me a break. You've felt this guy's collar because he has dared to question what the police were doing parked in a bus lane. When people start being arrested for questioning the actions of the police, we are in deep, deep, deep trouble.

The mealy mouthed response of the Super is just as worrying. Why not just put your hands up and say 'The officers over reacted. I've spoken with them about it and we will try to avoid this in the future.' Because the thing is I'm sure that behind closed doors, the officers concerned were told to stop being so bloody stupid.

A number of my recent posts might suggest I am anti-police. This is not true. I work quite closely with the police and recognise that the vast, vast majority do a good job under almost impossible conditions and incompetent management. Managers and a few front-line officers would do well to remember the Peelian Principles.

Can anyone explain why we used to have a Police Force that served the community but now have a Police Service that serve nothing but the Party tractor production figures?

Tuesday, 29 July 2008

The One That Thinks It's All Arse About Face. . .

I had a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine on Sunday morning. Her 14 year old daughter was recently attacked by a gang of 12 girls in Ashford, Kent. Now, I've never considered Ashford (the town where I grew up) to be a particularly bad town, it has one estate of local bad repute, but it certainly isn't Fallujah.

The disturbing thing, beyond the obvious, is this; two of the girls in the gang were classmates of the unfortunate young lady. As far as I can gather even though the ringleader and other members of the gang, including these two girls, have been identified, the school has declined to take any real action as the incident happened out of school.

Now, dear reader, if you set about a colleague outside of the work-place you would expect to lose your job as a result.

Another friend of mine, who works as a foster carer, recounted an incident involving one of her charges. This time there was an assault in the classroom by a young man on the girl in her care that involved her being punched in the stomach and the face. The school in question requested she attend the campus and take her foster daughter home as a result.

'Have you called the Police?' she quite reasonably asked.
'No.' came the reply. 'We would only summon the Police in the event of a serious incident.'
'She has been assaulted. If I were to do the same to you, now, would you call the Police?'
'Well, yes.'
'So what's the difference?'
'Well, we're adults.'

Now, there's a difference between a scrap in the playground (although a scrap in the pub car-park would probably attract the attention of the local constabulary) and a focused assault in a classroom. To say that the Police are not needed suggests that a child has less right to protection against assault than an adult. Or worse, children have a right to assault other people, a right that adults do not have.

Of course the foster mother reported the incident to the Police, who said they preferred not to get involved with incidents such as this. Yeah, I fucking bet you don't. Any other areas of law enforcement you don't feel like getting involved with? Arson? Murder perhaps? What about detection and solving of crimes? Too much for you? Perhaps you'd be better off attending another diversity workshop.

The thing is, we'll criminalise someone for dropping a fag butt on the ground, but actually get a proper crime with like, a real victim, and they'll run a mile. The message sent out is two-fold, to the wrong-'uns it says 'Do what you want, you have carte-blanche, neither the educational nor judicial authorities will take any action.' To those that act as responsible, pleasant human beings it is 'Forget it. You are sooooooooo fucked. Oh, is that an apple core you just put in that bush? Tut tut, see you in court.'

Is it any wonder that kids are taking to carrying knives? No-one is going to defend them, so they might as well do it themsevles.

Then we have the case of Sarika Watkins-Singh, the Sikh girl who was suspended from school for wearing a bangle as a sign of her faith. This, apparently, contravened the school's no jewellery uniform policy. She won, thankfully. What a ridiculous state of affairs. What is a 14 year old girl doing in the High Court defending her right to express her faith? Is a bangle really that important to the school?

No, the only reason this went all this way is because this young girl didn't shut the fuck up, sit down and do as she was told. Who the hell does she think she is? How dare she challenge these totally arbitrary rules set down on a whim. The only winners were the lawyers, the whole lot would have paid for by public funds. That's our money, by the way.

So we have one girl, excluded from school for wearing a bracelet* that you wouldn't even notice unless you looked for it, whilst no action is taken against those who violently assault their classmates. Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this picture?

*I understand that the bracelet shouldn't have been classed as jewellery anyhow. The school apparently only kicked up a fuss about it when the girl's parents complained of racist bullying. Obviously it was her fault for drawing attention to herself by wearing it. That's a great bullying policy isn't it?

The One That Finds This Difficult To Believe . . .

I just can't help wondering how much the academics were paid to come up with this blinding flash of the bleeding obvious?


The best way to lose weight is to do excercise?

Dammit, I was wondering why sitting on the sofa watching Deal or No Deal whilst eating my body weight in pringles and wine gums wasn't helping me shed the pounds.

This is right up there with Hawking, Einstein and Newton.

Give me strength. . .

Friday, 25 July 2008

The One That's Doing A Joyful Little Dance . . .

Well. Didn't see that coming, I never expected people in Parkhead to vote for a candidate named Mason, but there you go.

Let's forget the farce of Labour's selection of their candidate.
Let's forget that 13,000 votes have been wiped off their balance sheet.
Let's forget that Glasgow East is (or rather was) the 3rd safest Labour seat in Scotland.

What are the real reasons behind the demise? Could it be that in East Glasgow we have one of the most deprived areas in the country? A shocking life-expectancy figure, awful education records and an unemployment rate that would scandalise a Rio favella, nothing has changed in this area since New Labour rode to power in '97, their core constituency have been sold down the river, and the voters have finally woken up to this fact.

So just local problems then?

No. Not a bit of it. In 1997 I was 21, Brit-Pop, Cool Britannia, hip young Tony sticking it to the man for the kids. I was the generation that New Labour reached out to, I didn't buy it by the way, I was in Falmouth at the time and voted Mebyon Kernow in disgust at the whole bloody shower. Eleven years later, I'm looking for a way out of a country that has nothing to offer me and will not allow me to perform to my strengths.

I think everybody has been let down by New Labour, after so many years in the wilderness the party sold its soul to the devil just to get back into power and now they are paying for it with their dearest blood as their natural supporters desert them in droves. It is almost tragic, I never supported 'Old' Labour, but at least they had conviction, a message that reached out to a sizeable portion of the country, now they have nothing beyond bankruptcy, deceit and empty promises.

Is there a way back for Labour? I don't think so. If the party aren't totally finished, it will certainly take years and years for them to return as a credible force again. The problem is that not only have they divorced themselves from their traditional power base, they've destroyed all the individuals within the party that were able to connect with that traditional base.

Take the late heavyweights, Mowlam, Dewar and Cook. Yes, all flawed, but all with that 'X factor' that made it possible to connect with voters, all capable of winning elections, all banished to the fringes and frozen out. Wherefore now their replacements?

Brown is done, he's a busted flush before the game's really got going for him, he's the sub that comes on and then gets subbed off when the 'keeper is sent off. He'll dig his heels in, but there's no future there and everyone in the party knows it. Who takes over that can turn it around? Minibrain? Harperson? The Straw Man? Balls Up? No chance. Charlie Clarke? Blunkett? Reid? Reputations in tatters. There is no-one there to rescue this party, it will make the Foot/Kinnock years look like a golden era.

If Brown does fall on his sword, or is thrown out despite Labour's labyrinthine electoral process, they must go to the polls, surely not even Labour have the gall to have three leaders in one parliament, have they?

This obit may seem quite sad, but I'm making no value judgements here, this is merely an observation. One thing's for sure, the next election will be really close. For second place between Labour and the Lib Dems.

Al-Beeb show how wrong they can be when they really put their mind to it:

Of course, by-elections are not the same as general elections. Voters do feel they have a greater freedom to register a protest vote when they are choosing one MP rather than their next government.

Idiots. You always only ever vote for one MP, not a government. And what the hell does 'greater freedom' mean?

Wednesday, 23 July 2008

The One That Isn't In The Least Bit Surprised. . .

So insurance fraudsters and crap illusionists the Darwins have been sent down.

Serves them right, silly buggers.

John Darwin apparently wanted to be a millionairre by the time he retired, he went about this by going into snail breeding, his family claim that he was obsessed with materialistic. . . hang on. . .

Snail breeding?

Please explain, when embarking on a fool proof excercise like snail breeding, how he managed to run up such large debts? With such a good idea, and exellent planning, how on Earth were they rumbled?

A tip of the hat to one who is surely a financial and criminal mastermind.

Bloody snail breeding?

Tuesday, 22 July 2008

The One That Knew It Wasn't Just About Brown People. . .

Now, it isn't exactly 42 days, but it is a bloody good indicator, Al-Beeb (Kent Commissariat) are running this story tonight:

A police officer has been transferred from duties at a Channel crossing after a disabled child and his parents were detained under the Terrorism Act.

Julie Maynard, of Ware, Hertfordshire, was taking a day trip to Calais through the Channel Tunnel in Folkestone, Kent.

The detective constable accused Ms Maynard and her husband Leslie Coombs of trafficking her son Joshua, 12.

Now, I know a thing or two about child trafficking, and there are ways of broaching the subject and ways not to. This was a way not to.

Even if they were guilty of child trafficking, why in the name of fuckety-fucking-fuck was an arrest made under the terrorism act?

Still, it is good to see Kent Police taking some positive action, I just hope the DC is thoroughly ashamed of herself.

Watch yourself, just look the wrong way at the wrong copper (and no, not all of them, not even most of them) and it'll be 9 hours in the box for you. Very poor, this is not the action expected of what used be the most reputable police force (and not bloody service) in the world.

The One That Doesn't Understand Why They Don't Get It. . .

Look! Look at it! This is dangerous and is causing 6% of hospital admissions, crippling the NHS.

Except it isn't.

You see a pint of beer, glass of wine, bottle of alchopop or multiples thereof no more cause hospital admissions than a badger.

It is individuals that drink bloody stupid amounts of alcohol that cause them. I know that if I drink a stupid amount of alcohol that I will start talking very loudly, tell everyone I love them and eventually will fall over, no doubt causing myself an injury requiring medical attention. I also know that if I go out and attempt to pick up a badger that I will suffer multiple bites and lose blood. Therefore I do neither of the above.

Of course our government doesn't see it that way. They don't think I am sufficiently wise to make a decision myself, so they intend to hold retailers responsible. Apparently retailers do not display enough information about alcoholic units (which are bullshit anyway) or propaganda about temperance.

What this requires is, surprise surprise, tough new laws for retailers who don't waste enough effort pointing out the bleeding obvious. This is akin to holding the motortrade accountable for road accidents for not displaying posters saying 'Hey! If you drive on the wrong side of the road, you'll probably crash' and 'Running people down really hurts them'.

If you take an average Friday night, the amount of people out drinking will be, ooooh, loads. The amount admitted to hospital will be not many.

Problem: Some people can't go out for the night without getting absolutely trolleyed, starting fights and ending up in hospital.

Solution: If these people can't behave responsibly then target those people, rather than all of us, by making them re-imburse the tax payer for their medical treatment or custody.


I understand that our authoritarian government want a population of mindless dolts with no capacity to think for themselves, but the only logical end of that policy is the complete destruction of the nation, no business, no arts, no academic excellence, bankruptcy and complete reliance on a state that will have neither the skills nor the resources to look after the population.

Just look at the former Communist bloc, is that really what these people want? Believe me you arrogant little politico fucktards, you really don't have the skills or wisdom to run Utopia, you are, to be frank, shit at the job you do at the moment. You simply aren't ready for any more control.

So how about leaving me to make decisions about my life, and leaving me to deal with consequences if I make the wrong decisions? It'll be my fault then, not yours, there'll be no 'something must be done'.

In other words, just fuck off leave me alone, will you? If I came up to you and continually flicked you on the cheek, you'd ask me to stop, if I didn't quit it, you'd end up smacking me one.

Don't say you haven't been warned.

Sunday, 20 July 2008

The One That Loves And Hates Things Like This. . .

I'll tell you a little story.

I work for a government department, which is fun.

Actually, that's a lie, it is miserable. A situation I am currently trying to address. Anyhow, just about a year ago, my team moved from a scruffy but much loved office in Dover, to a spanking new purpose built building in Folkestone. Of course it isn't as nice as the place we used to work at in Dover.

This new building has had a few problems, snagging it is called. There's been quite a list. One of the more controversial and ongoing ones has been the subject of proximity passes granting access to the building. For some reason these passes were only set up to work for one year and have now usefully expired, across the board. We were initially told that new passes would be made, at a cost to you the taxpayer of, well, God knows how much, but you can bet that because we are a government department a normal quote is taken and then trebled.

These new passes will be with us in a number of weeks.

In the short-term the plan for the existing passes is that they will be re-enabled until the new ones arrive. Yes, yes, I know, if the existing passes can be re-enabled, then why do we need new ones at all? The answer is probably something like 'someone has decided we need new passes, probably a committee, and that decision can't be reversed unless there's another committee and probably a focus group and a project team working to a delivery manager.'

Here's the real little gem, so skilfully hidden in this steaming pile of shite, an email was sat in my inbox this morning from one of the team (a fairly senior manager) that is in charge of the 'facilities managment'.* It spoke in vaguely confident fashion about how this problem is being sorted and that all will be well. One line in particular made me laugh out loud:

'I have been assured that this work is still underway and personnel should now shortly evidence resolution.'

What? I recognise the words, they are all good words, used in everyday English, but this is a combination of such that has hitherto been unknown to me. Evidence resolution? Oh, I see, you mean it'll be working again soon?

What a great representation of the civil service; not set-up properly, stops working, ridiculous plan to fix it, still not working, talk bollocks about it in the hope no-one asks any questions.

Don't worry, your taxes are being well spent.

* formerly 'accommodation team', then 'estate management', and will probably next week be called 'work place environmental management and resource best practice facilitation unit'. We do love a name change in the civil service.

Friday, 18 July 2008

The One That Is Glad. . .

Further to my rant of yesterday, the High Court have dismissed Chambers' application for an injunction against the BOA.

I'm bloody delighted.

He has until close of court business today to lodge an appeal. Let's see how fast the fucker really is.

And to make today better, tonight is the Canterbury beer festival. I intend to drink more than my daily allowance of alcoholic units.

Thursday, 17 July 2008

The One That Thinks He Should Be Left At Home. . .

This arrogant fucking cretin is Dwain Chambers.

He is a proven drugs cheat. He cynically and knowingly took performance enhancing drugs contrary to the rules of the sport which he claims to love and was banned when he was caught out.

He took THG, this is a drug that was designed to be invisible to the doping testers, it has no other purpose than to illegally enhance the performances of the athletes that take it. No excuse of taking a lemsip for a cold or an anadin for a hurty leg skewing the test results.

Chambers purposefully set out to deceive the testers, comeptitors, spectators and sponsors of his sport and was rightly banned.

Now we see the whinging little fucker in the High Court trying to get an injunction against the British Olympic Association and their rule that a drugs cheat cannot represent GB&NI in any further Olympic Games.

This is not a retrospective ruling and has been in force for some years. When Chambers took his drugs to gain an unfair advantage over his clean competitors, he knew the risks. When he was caught he was aware that that was his Olympic career over.

Tough fucking titty sunshine.

He now moans that it is unfair restraint of trade. Well boo fucking hoo. If a paediatric nurse is convicted of child sex crimes and banned for life for working with children, can they claim unfair restraint of trade as well? No. Because they've demonstrated that they can't be fucking trusted. Same goes for you.

I hope he bloody loses his case. A few ancillary points:

- This is none of the High Court's business. The BOA are not a public organisation, it's up to them who they pick.

- He's going to win bugger all anyway. I doubt he'd make the final.

- The rest of your prospective team-mates probably want you nowhere near them.

- You send out a shite message to young athletes.

- The Olympics will probably be lousy with drug cheats. I don't care particularly about the games themselves, but I do care about some fucktard dragging our country's already bad name through the mud, just because you want to go 'and have some fun in Beijing.'

At least have the good grace to look ashamed that you got caught. You arrogant, self centred prick. I hope you break your legs.

Actually, anyone got Tonya Harding's number?

Wednesday, 16 July 2008

The One That Is Saying 'Oh Really? You Surprise Me.' . . .

Once again from Al-Beeb:

Almost a fifth of MPs have suffered mental health problems at some time, a survey suggests.

Nooo! You don't say!

Collection of inmates from the Tesco Beacon Westminster Home No. 10 For The Bewildered.

Who'd have thought it? And 86% of MPs think their job is stressful. Yeah, must be a real bind swiping all the expenses and worrying that the press will find out you don't deserve a single bloody penny of them. You'll be feeling the stress by May 2010 when you realise your majority is nowhere near as secure as you thought it was.

And yet despite all the madness and stress, people are still so desperate to climb aboard the gravy train they'll do almost anything to get votes as reported on Order-Order, Labour election candidate for Glasgae East, Margaret Curran publicised herself sitting with a youthful looking 93 year old Desert Rat showing off his campaign medals. The problem? He was actually a 67 year old Labour campaigner showing off his MBE.

Read the whole article here.

You cannot trust a word these bastards say, if an MP told me that the sky was blue and the sea was wet, I'd go out and check for myself.

Tuesday, 15 July 2008

The One That Is Saying 'Oh, Do You Think?' . . .

This report from Al-Beeb:

A central database holding details of everyone's phone calls and emails could be a "step too far for the British way of life", ministers have been warned.

Oh, do you think?

Just that step, is it?

Plans to hold everybody's DNA on a database? Fine.
Plans to lock people in their houses if they commit the terrible crime of being young? Sure thing.
Plans to hand over all our personal information to foreign governments? No worries.
Ignoring the country's desire to have a say over our participation in the EU? Go for your life.

Commissioner Richard Thomas is right, but let's face it, none of the above really sit too comfortably with the history and ideals of this country do they?

Monday, 14 July 2008

The One That Wants To Know Where They'll Put Them All. . .

Another shot fired in the 'war' on 'knife crime'. I have neither the energy nor the desire to recover points that have been covered ad-nauseum in the blogosphere over the last few days.

However this caught my eye:

More than 110,000 "problem families" with disruptive youngsters will be targeted as part of a crackdown on knife crime, Gordon Brown has said.

They will get parenting supervision, with the worst 20,000 families facing eviction if they do not respond.

The worst 20,000 families? Jesus H Fucking Christ on a dirty great big bike (sold with bell attached as per incredibly important legislation) without a crash helmet and hi-vis vest.

Let us assume a little cynically that the 20,000 families are made up of mother and two kids. That's 60,000 people, I've landed in towns with Ryanair that don't have that sort of population. Where the bloody hell will we stick 'em all? Evict them to where? Are they to be thrown out on the street? How will the old bill escort the little cherubs home when they're found breaking curfew if they have no home to go to? No address will mean no benefits. They'll probably take to liberating money off passers-by by waving knives under their noses.

I'm betting that the ECHR puts obstacles in the way of eviction that a Royal Marine PT instructor would baulk at.

Surely this isn't just a ploy by Gordon the Goldfish to be seen to be doing something?

Is it?

Saturday, 12 July 2008

The One That Can't Wait To Hear What The Solution Is. . .

So, come Monday morning, good old Gordon will have a solution to the 'knife-crime epidemic'. Knife crime? Epidemic? Let's not call a spade a manual earth moving implement shall we?

Let's call it 'ill-educated, poorly raised chavs keep stabbing people, I wouldn't mind if it was just between their tiny minded little groups, but it isn't.' I know, it isn't as catchy, but it is a great deal more explicit.

Anyhow, I'm sure Gordon will have it all figured out by Monday.

Oh no, hang on a minute. I'm not sure of that at all, because Gordon Brown is a moronic fucking cretin with about as much right to the keys of Number 10 as a stoat.

Bystander, author of the excellent Magistrate's blog puts it much better than me, and he's the poor bugger who has to deal with the detritus from all of this.

The One That Issued Forth A Chuckle. . .

A superb line from Douglas Alexander on the BBC's Question Time on Thursday when pressed about Brown associating himself with Heathcliff.

'I think people should be judged not by how they describe themselves, but by how they do the job.'

So he's fucked on both counts then.

Not exactly a ringing endorsement from the corrupt little bitch's brother though, is it? It's almost like watching everyone on a crowded tube train slowly edge away from the Muslim guy who has just got on wearing a rucksack, they don't want to do it, they feel bad for thinking that way, but they just want to be safe.

Thursday, 10 July 2008

The One That Is . . . . . . . . speechless. . .

Where to start? What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on?

Firstly Gordon the Goldfish told Cameron in the house last month that if he looks at the new vehicle excise duty plans that:

'. . .he will see that the majority of drivers will benefit from it.'

Now this morning we hear that the Treasury's own figures show that 9 million motorists will be worse off as a result.


I don't have the car ownership stats, although I could probably find them if I had the inclination, however I willing to bet that nine million shaftees doesn't constitute a minority of car owners.

That's nine million people being kicked squarely in the bollocks when he expressly told us that the majority of us would benefit. But that's not all, those who will be hit worse by this pernicious, hostile and retrospective tax will be those with older cars. Who owns these cars? The poor, the elderly, single parents, the disabled. Well done Gordon, well done indeed. The opposition parties couldn't even dream this own goal up, you really have taken political suicide to a new level.

So we have two conclusions to draw from this;
Firstly, you knowingly and deliberately misled the house when you told Cameron that. Therefore you should be held to account for this and removed from office immediately. Secondly, you are so amazingly incompetent and pig-shit thick that you cannot be trusted to run a bath, let alone a country, and should be removed from office immediately.

I've asked before, how does us giving you all our money equate to 'saving the environment'? It doesn't it is taking money under false pretence. This is called fraud.

I quote this lyric from 'Take A Bow' by Muse, one of my favourite popular beat ensembles:

You're corrupt
Bring corruption to all that you touch
You behold
And beholden for all that you've done
And spin
Cast a spell
Cast a spell on the country you run
And risk
You will risk
You will risk all their lives and their souls

And burn
You will burn
You will burn in hell, yeah you'll burn in hell
You'll burn in hell
Yeah you'll burn in hell
For your sins

And then, AND THEN, you tell the New Statesman that you're just like Heathcliff from
Wuthering Heights! You want to be compared to one of the most dysfunctional characters in English literature? A violent, spousal abuser, probably guilty of murder with a penchant for digging up dead bodies.

Well, at least he's honest about something.

As an aisde, Heathcliff's love rival in the book, who eventually marries Cathy is called Linton. Now which former PM has that as one of his names?

Monday, 7 July 2008

The One That Is Guilty Of Plagiarism . . .

Well, not completely, I'll not be passing it off as my own work. I'm not about to come over all Raj Persaud (I'm assuming we don't call him Dr. anymore?) This from the UK Libertarian Party blog, which you can find on my blogroll to the left.

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered why, if both the Conservative and Labour parties are against national debt, we have a national debt? Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don't propose a budget. The Chancellor does. You and I don't have the authority to vote on Government spending plans. Members of Parliament do. You and I don't write the tax code. Members of Parliament do. You and I don't set fiscal policy. Members of Parliament do. You and I don't control monetary policy. The Chancellor does, and the Bank of England follows his instructions.

646 Members of Parliament -- 646 human beings out of our 60 million population -- are directly, legally, morally and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

I've excluded the House of Lords for a sound reason. They don't originate legislation, and any suggestions that they make can be overruled by the House of Commons. Members of Parliament, and Members of Parliament alone, are responsible for legislation.

I've excluded all of the special interest groups and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a Member of Parliament to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer an MP one million pounds in cold, hard cash. The MP has the power to accept or reject it.

No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.

Don't you see how the con game is played on the people by the politicians? Those 646 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They co-operate in this timeless con regardless of party.

When a politician speaks of honour, it's the kind that's only found amongst thieves. When they speak of trust, you know it's yours that they will be taking advantage of.

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 60 million cannot replace 646 people who stand convicted -- on a daily basis -- of gross incompetence and irresponsibility.

When you fully grasp the plain truth that 646 people exercise the power of our national government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax system is unfair, it's because they want it unfair. If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red. If our troops are in Iraq, it's because they want them in Iraq.

There are no insoluble government problems. Do not let these 646 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take it.

Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exist disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation" or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they took an oath to do.

These 646 people and they alone are responsible. They and they alone have the power. They and they alone should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses. These 646 people are employed by us, to work for us, but have miserably failed us at every turn.

It's time to sack every last one of them.

When a system is so fundamentally flawed as this, when millions of sheeple shrug their shoulders, it makes you wonder when that Bug's Life moment will come and we'll realise that there's a hell of a lot more of us than there is of them. We must take an interest in politics and keep an eye on these bastards. I appreciate the very fact you've read this far means I'm preaching to the choir, but really, we are sleepwalking to disaster, and I'm afraid as a nation we deserve every bit of it.

The One That Is Feeling Suitably Chastised. . .

Bankrupt Goldfish holidays in Japan.

Interesting to see Gordon the Goldfish (watch his mouth gaping like a landed fish next time he's on the telly, once you've spotted it, you can't help but notice it, you can even predict its appearance) berating us all from Hokkaido about food waste and how much we throw away.

OK, Mac The Knife said it best a little time ago:
If I want to dump 'Taste the difference' Chicken Nibletz into my garden pond, or nail gammon steaks to the shed that's my affair. When will you people shut the fuck up and bugger off?
What remarkable chutzpah from Goldfish Gordie, having a go at us about waste? Of course it is all our fault. The economy has been bumping along quite nicely for a while and it was all down to him, but now the wheels have fallen off it isn't his fault. What a remarkable turn of events, who'd have thought in this day and age that someone would absolve themselves of any fault and lay the blame at someone else's door?

The report from the Torygraph says:

Families in the UK are throwing away a total of 4.1 million tonnes of perfectly good food every year, costing each around £420 annually, according to the 10-month study.

Waste could be reduced by storing fruit and vegetables better to stop them going off, and planning meals so goods are used up rather than ditched.

Now, let's just rework that a little shall we?

Politicians in the UK are throwing away a total of £4.1 million of perfectly good cash every year, costing each household around £420 annually, according to the 10-month study.

Waste could be reduced by storing tax payer's money better to stop it being spanked on vanity projects and desperate attempts to cling on to power no matter what, and economic planning so monies are used sensibly rather than pissed up the wall like we've nothing to lose.

Of course it doesn't work, does it? Because government waste, where they pump huge amounts of public cash, that is cash they've taken from you and me, into, oooh let's say PFI, where private companies are paid stupid amounts to provide a service, which they balls up, and are then given more money to solve the problem which they then don't solve, far outweighs any financial or material waste we indulge in, even if we really, really tried to throw everything away we ever touch.

Honestly Gordon, it's like telling people not to look at porn, only to be seen wanking over the lingerie section of the Grattan catalogue during PMQ's. I always thought that Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four was being used by the soon to be erstwhile Prime Minister as an instruction manual, now it looks like he's been reading Animal Farm as well.

Some are more equal than others. . .

Sunday, 6 July 2008

The One That's Getting All Serious. . .

This video is part of a publicity package from the UK Human Trafficking Centre to raise awareness about trafficking.

It is a truly horrible trade that preys on the aspirations or ignorance of the victims and relies on the indifference of the public and/or the disinterest of the victims' families.

Please go and look at the rest of the blue blindfold campaign and look out for the signs that something is not what it should be, this can be the result.

Friday, 4 July 2008

The One That Is Naming And Shaming . . .

How very predictable, MPs have voted to keep the status quo in respect of their expenses.

What's more here is a list of those who use taxpayer's money to support their family.

Don't you love the smell of venality in the morning? The only thing that has shocked and surprised me is that I'm not shocked and surprised. Let's hope that those avaricious, arrogant and grasping . . . [I don't know, I don't have a word strong enough to express my disgust] lose their seats in the next election.

Here's a list of the offenders, and their majorities, may they be swept away.

Liz Blackman (Lab) - 7084
Bob Blizzard (Lab) - 5915
Nick Brown (Lab) - 7565
Andy Burnham (Lab) - 17,272
Alan Campbell (Lab) - 4143
Tony Cunningham (Lab) - 6895
Angela Eagle (Lab) - 9109
Maria Eagle (Lab) - 7193 (Twins, FFS!)
Caroline Flint (Lab) - 8598
Michael Foster (Lab) - 3144
Beverley Hughes (Lab) - 19, 417
Tessa Jowell (Lab) - 8807
Thomas McAvoy (Lab) - 16,112
Steve McCabe (Lab) - 5714
Shiobhain McDonagh (Lab) - 12,560
Tony McNulty (Lab) - 4730
Gillian Merron (Lab) - 4613
Mike O'Brien (Lab) - 7553
James Plaskitt (Lab) - 266 (Fuck me, I bet you shat yourself when Brown almost called an
election. Your arse is out of here, mate.)
Bridget Prentice (Lab) - 6751
Jacqui Smith (Lab) - 2716
Gerry Sutcliffe (Lab) - 4902
Mark Tami (Lab) - 8378
Gareth Thomas (Lab) - 2028
Derek Twigg (Lab) - 14606
Kitty Ussher (Lab) - 5778
Claire Ward (Lab) - 1148 (2% swing needed, you've had it as well, love.)
David Watts (Lab) - 13,962 (Fa fa fa fa fa fa fack off, with apologies to The Kinks)
Rosie Winterton (Lab) - 9802
Shaun Woodward (Lab) - 9309 (He's married to an heiress to the fucking Sainsbury fortune, for
crying out loud)
Iain Wright (Lab) - 7478

Now, tell me children, what links all those politicians. Hmmm? Well, yes they're all greedy fuckers who think it's a bloody liberty that we think we should somehow know what the cash they mug us for each month is spent on. Anything else?

Yessssss, that's right! Gold star! They're all from Labour.

Socialists? Preaching equality whilst sticking their porcine fucking snouts in the trough and avoiding any accountability? Who'd have thought it?

I hope they all catch bad aids.

Wednesday, 2 July 2008

The One That Finds This Most Amusing . . .

A little departure from the norm today, this wonderful re-edit was sent to me by a friend. I found it very, very amusing.

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

The One That Is Tipping His Hat To Lech Kaczynski. . .

This is Lech Kaczynski, noble looking chap, isn't he?

He happens to be the President of Poland, he seems to have *ahem* slight authoritarian leanings, but as they say the enemy of my enemy. . .

Now, this may come as a surprise to some of you, but I'm not entirely happy about the EU. However, nothing is all bad, and one of the very rare good points about the EU is the fact that it has enabled us to be closer to the Poles. I like the Poles a great deal, they are in the main, honest, hard-working, patriotic people, they fought like lions alongside allied troops in the second world war and there is some startling statistic about the amount of Lufwaffe aircraft shot down by Polish airmen. Were it not for these people it is highly likely that the Battle of Britain would have been lost. It is a crying shame that Communism and the Cold War kept us apart for so long. In short, I believe Poland is a country we can do business with.

Oh, hullo! It looks like the Poles are doing their best to help us out again. The aforementioned Mr. Kaczynski is now giving serious thought to not putting his John Hancock on the Polish ratification of the Lisbon Treaty, citing that it would be pointless in light of the Irish referendum. Bloody well done. Isn't it marvellous how new boys in the shape of Poland and the Czech Republic could be the people to put the final nail in the coffin of this odious and anti-democratic treaty? If only our government had the same guts.

And whilst I'm on the subject, Al-Beeb, the Bullshit Broadcasting Corportation, or as I like to call them, those fucktards in White City have said:

All 27 EU members must ratify the document.

Oh really now? MUST they? What will happen if they do not? Will the Euro-corps (hahahahaha) come rolling over the plains like the Nazis and the Soviets? You arrogant fuckers, the Poles kicked the spirit crushing Communists into touch with one of the most spirited revolutions in history. I'm reckoning the Poles aren't going to be leant on by these dictatorial, self-appointed arse clowns in Brussels. More power to them.

The One That Says It Is None Of Their Bloody Business. . .

Here's an interesting little article from the New York Times about EU plans to hand over personal details about us to the US government, including credit card transactions, travel history and internet browsing history.

What? Excuse me? The above is absolutely nothing to do with my government, let alone the government of another fucking country.

Let us set aside the concerns about our government's absolutely God awful record of data handling and the very lax rules and slip-shod fashion about personal data in the US.

The fact is, which internet sites I visit and what I spend my cash on is absolutely nothing to do with the Seppo's. Look west and you will see the future for us in the UK and EU. American society is dog whistle politics at its very worst.

I recently had a trip to Canada and got talking to a Toronto native about their relationship with the USA. This individual was telling me about the ridiculous demands the US made of Canada in this respect and that September 11th had turned the Americans into a victim society. Her point went something like this: 'In Europe, certainly the UK, you've become used to terrorist attacks, you just get on with life. Over the border it is the end of the world and no-one else could understand what it's like, because these were attacks on Americans.'

It struck a chord, Pearl Harbour and the half-arsed attempt on the WTC previously aside, America has never had to deal with this before, the British, Spanish and French have all had terrorist problems and are well used to dealing with them, the Americans aren't. It is so startling to see the land of the free, a country prone to paranoia and isolationism at the best of times (McCarthyism, anyone?) give up their liberty so freely, never have the words of Ben Franklin rung so true.

That is a point for them though. But I cannot tolerate our anti-democratic EU commissariat just handing over my details. I'm assuming that this will only apply to people flying from the EU to the US. A shame, despite my ranting here, I enjoy visiting the USA, I like the people, New York and Boston are two of the most stimulating and exciting cities in the world, watching ice hockey at the Garden, or baseball at Fenway under floodlight and a whole host of other things make going there a real pleasure. However, my very occasional trips over the pond will be restricted to Canada, a much more civilised place.

Just because I have nothing to hide doesn't mean I need to walk around bollock naked. My business is mine, no-one else's.