The One That Says 'Oh, They WILL, Will They?'. . .

Just sat here watching Sky News, the chap doing the bit to camera in Dublin about the Lisbon Treaty has just made the point that if the Irish vote 'Yes', (and how I hope the opinion polls are wrong, that people have being fibbing to the pollsters or that in the polling station they just think 'Fuck you' and vote 'No'), that the Poles and Czechs will HAVE to ratify.

Will they? As sad as it is that the Irish constitution is the only one in the Europe Union of Soviet Socialist Republics to have any faith in its population's capacity for abstract thought, is it right that their decisions should influence, or force, the policy of another sovereign state?

Well, if the 'Yes' vote wins today, then get used to it, because the wishes of our national parliament and therefore (at least, on paper) the wishes of the electorates will be perpetually forced by the actions of a group immeasurably smaller than the group they hold power over. I speak not of the 3 million Irish with effective dominion over 497 million other 'EU Citizens', but of the fucktardish pen pushers, troughers and self appointed rulers sitting in Brussels.

And they will indeed hold power over us. Already Bliar is apparently a shoe-in for the job of President of the EU. Did you receive a polling card? I didn't. I didn't get the chance to vote for our commissioner, never have, believe me, there's no fucking way I'd have voted for Kinnock or Mandleson.

An apparent Republic with a population of 500 million, none of whom have had the opportunity to elect their President or those who make the laws that govern them. There's a name for a regime like that.

We've never had a say since 1975 - that's before I was born, and this was not the deal on the table. I was disgusted to hear a colleague of mine who describes himself as being 'Liberal' and a 'Democrat' describe a referendum as not democratic as people would make the wrong decisions and it is very, very complicated.

He was amazed when I called him an arrogant, patronising little weasel.

This is what we're up against. No pretence at democracy, no pretence at listening to what people want. Those on the top of the status quo want this introduced and it will be introduced.

Well, I've got news for you, you nasty little fuckers, a similar enterprise crumbled in Eastern Europe in the 90's, and if you continue to ride roughshod over us little people, your Ceacescu moment WILL come, and you won't even see it when it is right at the end of your nose.

A question. What if Lech Kaczynski and/or Vaclav Klaus turn round and say, 'You know, as Head of State, I don't want to sign this. I know what is best for my country, not you', what happens then?

God save Ireland, God save Poland, God save the Czech Republic.

God help the rest of us.

The One That Is Surprised And Not Surprised . . .

Sky News (TV, can't find a link) have just reported this morning that Baroness Scotland has been find £5000 by the UKBA for employing an overstayer.

The comment from Eamonn Holmes was that she 'will accept the fine.' Well that's gracious of her, isn't it? Is that a line we can all take? Or is it only senior politicians that can decide whether they accept a fine or not?

It matters not, she'll probably claim it on her expenses, anyway.

Of more concern is the report that she doesn't see this as a resigning matter.

Riiiight.

So the government's senior legal officer breaks a law that she was instrumental in pushing through and as the highest legal figure in the country, doesn't see it as an issue when she breaks the law she is sworn to uphold.

So, if breaking the law isn't cause for a resignation, what the hell is?

It isn't one law for us and one law for them, it is one law for us and no law for them.

The One That Bets They Don't Get The Chance. . .

Jose Manuel Barroso after the Germans throw out the Lisbon Treaty.

According to Open Europe, 77% of Germans want a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty.

I've a shiny €10 note that says they don't get it.

Let's look at some of the quotes attributed in this report:

German press agency DPA reported this week that "nobody expects a complete 'No'" from the judges, adding that "a 'yes, but' is considered a possibility.

Errr, no. Try Yes or No. Simple as that.

Irish Europe Minister Dick Roche said in the aftermath of the Irish 'no' vote that "the first thing to learn about referendums - is to avoid them.

The first thing to learn about Dick Roche is to kick him very hard. In the head. Every ten minutes.

Former Commission President Jacques Santer added: "A referendum is good for democracy; it is not always good for a country. We need to make a distinction between democracy and what is good for the country.

News flash, Jacques, you detestible merde petit, the EU is not a country. Fucktard.

Valery Giscard d'Estaing, has explained the reason why it was renamed the Lisbon Treaty, saying: "Above all, it is to avoid having a referendum.

Because referenda look likely to tell us that the electorate don't like our plans, and that won't do, that won't do at all. If we don't ask them, they can't tell us.

However, there is hope:

Bavarian Minister-President Horst Seehofer has said: "We want the population to be asked before German competences are irrevocably transferred to Brussels.

Nice one Horst, fancy pointing that out to Angela?

Silvana Koch-Mehrin, leader of the German liberals in the European Parliament, said: "Without a referendum in Europe the growing gap between the EU and its citizens will keep on growing."

Although the cynic in me must point out that Silvana doesn't say if that is a bad thing or not.

Reporting Judge Udo Di Fabio said: "One has to ask soberly: What competences are left with the Bundestag in the end?" He also bluntly asked "whether it would not be more honest to just proclaim a European federal state". On the transfer of powers to the EU, he said: "Is the idea of going ever more in this direction not a threat to freedom?"

To answer those points; None. Yes, but there would be millions on the streets (but not in the UK, the BBC would show an Eastenders special, before C4 announce a surprise eviction on Big Brother). Yes, yes it is a very direct threat to freedom. I kinda think that's the point.

We're not dead yet, but we're not at all well. The Czechs and Poles have yet to sign, I'm unsure about the Danes' state of play, and perhaps the Irish will be persuaded by the no camp that the EU thinks they are all stupid bog trotters who should do as they are fucking told. Perhaps we can send them a picture like this?


It may not be flattering for us in England, but it'll allow the Irish to get the message.

The One That Will Tell You What The Bloody Point Is. . .

The Prime Mentalist displayed the sort of lack of undertanding and self-awareness that will come to mark his tenure as what history promises to see as the worst Prime Minister of all time today.

He was reluctant to say anything in support of Darling, so start packing, Alistair. Expect Ed Balls to move into No. 11 when he indulges in the final re-ordering of the deckchairs on his own personal Titanic. Dear God, is that it? Ed Balls? Bloody hell, I'm surprised the cabinet aren't running for the hills, the last thing even the most loyal Brownite needs right now is to be seen to have any connection to this Jonah at all.

He also stated that :

I am not arrogant or unwilling to listen to people but I do believe that if people look towards what needs to be done at the moment, it is to get us through this economic downturn.

Don't you see? You poor deluded fools, why are you wasting your time looking at these venal MPs? What you should be focusing on is the recession, which is nothing to do with Gordon at all, although all the good stuff that came before is all down to him. You'd be a racist, homophobic paedophile to disagree.

Adam Boulton flat out asked him today why he doesn't go to the country. His response? 'What would be the point?'

The point would be Gordon, that everyone, even your own back-benchers and party gophers are thoroughly sick of the sight of you.

He then wittered on about the folly of going to a general election:

"I want people to say of me that he cleaned up the political system having found that things were wrong in it. . ."

Well, you've had 12 years, Gordon. Didn't seem so bleeding important when the farmer wasn't watching the trough, was it?

History will remember you as the man who was the worst PM in history, presiding over one of the most corrupt Parliaments in history and as one of two men who destroyed the Labour party and didn't have the sense to realise the game was up.

I hope the time spent hiding under the table in No. 10 was worth it.

The One That Is Ashamed. . .

If ever there were a demonstration of Parliament's contempt for the public they are supposed to be serving, it came just now as the Speaker addressed the House.

I'll gloss over the fact that he didn't seem to understand the procedure of the House and had to discuss it with the Clerk, and focus instead on the fact that during the numerous points of order he effectively denounced Douglas Carswell's early day motion as a peice of trivia.

His refusal to pass any comment on his immediate future can only lead me to suppose that it is his intention not only to see this term out, but also to stand for election at the next election. Convention has it that a serving Speaker is unopposed by the two other main parties in his consituency during an election. Bollocks to that convention, the Lib Dems and Tories should piss all over that. The status quo must not be protected.

It isn't just that the Speaker should be offered up as a sacrificial lamb for the malfeasance of the House, he isn't a scapegoat and should not be treated as one, but he is one the worst troughers out there.

By refusing to give time over to Carswell's EDM, he has refused the House the opportunity to discuss his tenure as Speaker and has dropped the hot spud squarely in the lap of Brown. Brown will do nothing. I have no doubt that a number of 'honourable' members that would vote in a motion of no confidence in Martin would do so in the hope that the House surrendering him to the mob would deflect attention away from their own avarice, but that should not detract from the decent MPs who realise that his isn't, has never been, and will never be up to the job he is supposed to be doing.

Once again the political class hold up two fingers to the public and shout a hearty 'fuck you'.

The Queen has the prerogative of dissolving Parliament whenever she sees fit, I sit here in the hope that Her Majesty uses that right sooner rather than later.

This is an absolute disgrace from a legislature who do nothing but look out for their own personal, financial interests. The sooner we can kick out the whole sorry lot of them, the better.

The One That Wants To Know Which One It Is. . .

So which one is it? Troughing pig or drooling imbecile?

Elliot Morley (and there's a face only a mother could love) is in the Telegraph coloured shit this evening. It transpires that he claimed £16k to pay a mortgage he didn't have.

Sixteen thousand quid is more than a good deal of people in this country see in wages every year. This is not a piffling amount of cash.

Is there not one MP that will have the balls to come out and say 'Yes, we've been right at it. There has been a culture of grabbing as much loot as possible for years at Westminster now, and we honestly thought you'd never rumble us'?

No, Elliot Morley is the latest in an every increasing line of MPs who have made a 'mistake'.

This defies belief, these mistakes have been made over and over again. And for how many years before the leak of these expenses claims?

How are we to have any faith in your policies if you repeatedly make the simplest mistakes? Do you really expect us to believe that these are proper honest to God mistakes? Or is that perhaps you've been, y'know, lying?

Either way the whole fucking lot of you are not to be trusted, how stupid do you think we are?

The One That Is Talking About The Beautiful Game. . .

A couple of football things today, an oddity, although any of you who know me will probably be amazed it has taken me this long to write about football.

Firstly, I'm very sad to see Luton lose their football league status today. They are a club with a proud 89 year history of league football, including a window of huge over-acheivement in the 1980's. They've been very shoddily treated by the Football League, an organisation which is supposed to safeguard the game and clubs, who have penalised the club for the failings of previous regimes.

They should be ashamed of themselves.

I am especially sorry for Luton as they battled against the machinations of John Gurney, a thoroughly despicable individual who did his level best to kill the club off whilst talking about moving them from their Kennilworth Road ground to a site off the M1, which would, he said, host an F1 race track. Gurney was (and possibly still is) involved in another football club which is very close to my heart and also came perilously close to killing off Bedford Rugby Club.

I really hope Luton bounce back from this latest set back. They've had to bounce back a few times recently, so it isn't as if they haven't had the practice. Good luck, Hatters.

The second item relates to demands made by John Sentamu, the Archbishop of York. Is there anything worse than a holier-than-thou cleric? According to Pravda, Church leaders want the government to use Sunday trading laws to prevent the staging of football matches, and Dr. Sentamu wants the church founded clubs to remember their roots.

I am really getting very tired of this constant whining from clerics. 'It's not fair, no-one is listening to us anymore.' Seems to be the moan from the Lords Spiritual.

Look, you've had a free run, even a controlling interest for a thousand bloody years now. You have criminalised, invaded and killed those who dared to disagree with you. You made people attend your churches. You took 10% of their income or produce. You kept people uneducated. You have raised cities to the ground. Your teachings have condemned thousands to a life of disease. Your entire reign over this country is a litany of misery, hypocrisy and bigotry. You are in no position to act as a moral compass, no position at all.

Now, how many people attend football, and how many people attend church? What are the aggregate attendance figures over a 12 month period?

Sorry Bish, the people have spoken, and you are not even as relevant as 22 men kicking a ball around a field. You've had your run, and it is over.

The One That Is Very Disappointed. . .

Tom Harris, MP. What a disappointment.

Many of you will be aware of the Libertarian Party's 1984 campaign. Some of you will be aware that Tom Harris, Labour MP for Glasgow South received his early and that he has commented on the receipt of this here. Following a fairly robust comments thread he responded (sort of) here. I was under the impression that he was going to pen a proper, considered response on Sunday afternoon. This came and can be seen here.

Well, I'm sorry Tom. That simply isn't good enough. I will give you credit for the dissention you have permitted on your blog, and it is your blog so I would have little problem with you refusing to post such comments. However I can't help feeling that you've let us down by refusing to enter into a proper debate on this subject. There are only three conclusions from which one, or a combination thereof, can be permed.

1. You really do hold people in such contempt that anyone holding an opinion contrary to yours is unworthy of being listened to, or agued with. (I would happily agree to disagree with you, if only there were some qualification of your point of view.)

2. You realise that you cannot justify the encroachments of the last eleven years, and thus do not attempt to do so. (Here's a subversive idea, could it be that you actually agree with us and this has tempered your response that must toe the party line?)

3. You have been 'got at' by the party who have instructed you to leave well alone, lest any controversy blow up. (Perhaps not totally unrelated to point 2.)

Whichever way you look at it, this (lack of) response marks you out either as a control-freak authoritarian, an individual lacking foresight enough to see where this is going, or a servile lap-dog who will say, or not say, whatever his party wants irrespective of his own views.

I expected more. Perhaps that was a foolish mistake on my part, I suppose I should have known better. However, the offer of a drink after PMQ's on Wednesday 5th is still extant.

The One That Thinks He Should Be Left At Home. . .

This arrogant fucking cretin is Dwain Chambers.

He is a proven drugs cheat. He cynically and knowingly took performance enhancing drugs contrary to the rules of the sport which he claims to love and was banned when he was caught out.

He took THG, this is a drug that was designed to be invisible to the doping testers, it has no other purpose than to illegally enhance the performances of the athletes that take it. No excuse of taking a lemsip for a cold or an anadin for a hurty leg skewing the test results.

Chambers purposefully set out to deceive the testers, comeptitors, spectators and sponsors of his sport and was rightly banned.

Now we see the whinging little fucker in the High Court trying to get an injunction against the British Olympic Association and their rule that a drugs cheat cannot represent GB&NI in any further Olympic Games.

This is not a retrospective ruling and has been in force for some years. When Chambers took his drugs to gain an unfair advantage over his clean competitors, he knew the risks. When he was caught he was aware that that was his Olympic career over.

Tough fucking titty sunshine.

He now moans that it is unfair restraint of trade. Well boo fucking hoo. If a paediatric nurse is convicted of child sex crimes and banned for life for working with children, can they claim unfair restraint of trade as well? No. Because they've demonstrated that they can't be fucking trusted. Same goes for you.

I hope he bloody loses his case. A few ancillary points:

- This is none of the High Court's business. The BOA are not a public organisation, it's up to them who they pick.

- He's going to win bugger all anyway. I doubt he'd make the final.

- The rest of your prospective team-mates probably want you nowhere near them.

- You send out a shite message to young athletes.

- The Olympics will probably be lousy with drug cheats. I don't care particularly about the games themselves, but I do care about some fucktard dragging our country's already bad name through the mud, just because you want to go 'and have some fun in Beijing.'

At least have the good grace to look ashamed that you got caught. You arrogant, self centred prick. I hope you break your legs.

Actually, anyone got Tonya Harding's number?

The One That Is Naming And Shaming . . .

How very predictable, MPs have voted to keep the status quo in respect of their expenses.

What's more here is a list of those who use taxpayer's money to support their family.

Don't you love the smell of venality in the morning? The only thing that has shocked and surprised me is that I'm not shocked and surprised. Let's hope that those avaricious, arrogant and grasping . . . [I don't know, I don't have a word strong enough to express my disgust] lose their seats in the next election.

Here's a list of the offenders, and their majorities, may they be swept away.

Liz Blackman (Lab) - 7084
Bob Blizzard (Lab) - 5915
Nick Brown (Lab) - 7565
Andy Burnham (Lab) - 17,272
Alan Campbell (Lab) - 4143
Tony Cunningham (Lab) - 6895
Angela Eagle (Lab) - 9109
Maria Eagle (Lab) - 7193 (Twins, FFS!)
Caroline Flint (Lab) - 8598
Michael Foster (Lab) - 3144
Beverley Hughes (Lab) - 19, 417
Tessa Jowell (Lab) - 8807
Thomas McAvoy (Lab) - 16,112
Steve McCabe (Lab) - 5714
Shiobhain McDonagh (Lab) - 12,560
Tony McNulty (Lab) - 4730
Gillian Merron (Lab) - 4613
Mike O'Brien (Lab) - 7553
James Plaskitt (Lab) - 266 (Fuck me, I bet you shat yourself when Brown almost called an
election. Your arse is out of here, mate.)
Bridget Prentice (Lab) - 6751
Jacqui Smith (Lab) - 2716
Gerry Sutcliffe (Lab) - 4902
Mark Tami (Lab) - 8378
Gareth Thomas (Lab) - 2028
Derek Twigg (Lab) - 14606
Kitty Ussher (Lab) - 5778
Claire Ward (Lab) - 1148 (2% swing needed, you've had it as well, love.)
David Watts (Lab) - 13,962 (Fa fa fa fa fa fa fack off, with apologies to The Kinks)
Rosie Winterton (Lab) - 9802
Shaun Woodward (Lab) - 9309 (He's married to an heiress to the fucking Sainsbury fortune, for
crying out loud)
Iain Wright (Lab) - 7478


Now, tell me children, what links all those politicians. Hmmm? Well, yes they're all greedy fuckers who think it's a bloody liberty that we think we should somehow know what the cash they mug us for each month is spent on. Anything else?

Yessssss, that's right! Gold star! They're all from Labour.

Socialists? Preaching equality whilst sticking their porcine fucking snouts in the trough and avoiding any accountability? Who'd have thought it?

I hope they all catch bad aids.