Friday, 29 August 2008

The One That Is Engaging In Light Blogging. . .

Family and work pressures means that ranting will be at a minimum for the next week or so.

My apologies to the hundreds of you devotees who hang on my every word.

Oh, who am I kidding? Is there anybody out there?

Friday, 22 August 2008

The One That Is Sat Here Shaking With Rage. . .

These two videos posted with flamboyant flourishing of hats to Obnoxio and Old Holborn.

Words almost fail me, I am so very, very angry about this.

How DARE two Police Officers enter somebody's private property on the basis of what they think should be a crime?

How DARE a PCSO lay his hands on the person or property of a member of the public because he thinks you shouldn't be allowed to film in public? How DARE he tell a member of the public to 'shut up.'

It isn't just the fact that these two clips show that the law enforcers are ignorant of the law. It is understandable given the indecent number of crimes added to the statute over the last ten years. It is the rudeness they show, and they way they conduct themselves in the idea that anything they don't like must be stopped.

You are here to serve us, you are policing this country because WE want you to. You would do well to remember that.

Thursday, 21 August 2008

The One That, Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha, Thinks That, Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho. . .

From Al-Beeb:

'Gordon Brown has left London for the Olympics declaring Labour will "go on and win" the next general election.'

Oh stop, it's too much. He's wasted at Number 10, I can't wait to see him on the next series of that show where Jack Dee delivers the same material he's used for the last ten years whilst introducing comics who are much better than him.

Anyhow, he went on to say:

'Paula Radcliffe will win the marathon in the 2012 Olympics, I've invented a car that makes icebergs for polar bears to live on and David Milliband is my best friend, like ever, in the whole world.'

OK he didn't really say that last bit, I might have made it up a bit. But he may as well for all the sense it makes.

Question: Is he absolutely puffin feather lined trousers mad, or really expecting us to accept the biggest lie since Jeff Archer said he invented Wednesdays?

That is the best statement seen by a government official since Comical Ali in Iraq.

Actually, Comical Ali said: "I think the British nation has never been faced with a tragedy like this fellow [Blair]." Brown said: "Labour will go on and win the next election."

Now which of those two statements carries the most credibility? It's official, Gordon Brown more deluded than Muhammad Saeed Al-Saahaf.

Wednesday, 20 August 2008

The One That Fancies A Kick-About . . .


Al-Beeb reports that Children in a Nottinghamshite town will be fined £100 for playing football on the street. Watch the video on the article, we're talking kids here, not gangs of hairy arsed teenagers.

LOOK! Look at those girls, they're playing with a skipping rope! In the street! I bet the residents of the street (and I'm assuming that the majority of these kids are also residents, I doubt they get bussed in) are quaking in their boots, they could be terrorists or anything.

According to the reporter, some residents feel threatened by kids playing on the street.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Do these same people hide under the table during thunderstorms and call the police if they're watching TV and a scary bit comes on? What we have here is one miserable bastard who can't stand people being young and doing what kids do best and so he's complained. The council will of course act and infer that this detestable old cock-knocker represents the majority view.

What a crock of shit.

The usual platitudes are wheeled out by the council, they are not killjoys apparently, £100 fines would only be levied if children were playing 'inappropriately'. Now who decides what is appropriate? How the hell do you judge that? Fear not, there'll be some grey little arsehole, or even better, a committee, who will draw up a sliding scale of play related high-jinks and they'll send their inspector around to watch these kids playing. Behaviour that would get you or me arrested.

How do you fine a child £100 anyhow? Take it out of his pocket money for the next 10 years? I can confidently predict the course of this story; a nine year old girl will be arrested for criminal damage after chalking a hopscotch grid on the pavement, and all the games will be stopped because they aren't wearing hi-viz jackets, safety goggles and hardhats.

This flies right in the face of government policy about getting kids out to play. But of course that flies in the face of government policy of selling off playing fields and open public spaces at every available opportunity. Yes they want kids to go out and play, but they want it to be done in a structured fashion.

Welcome to 21st Century Britain, a country where the government even want to control what, and how, your children play.

The One That Doesn't Speak Hungarian . . .

. . . but I'm assuming it is none too complimentary.


Apparently it reads: 'It is possible to say no.'

To which I can only say; tell those bastards in Brussels that, 'coz the Irish tried it.

Tuesday, 19 August 2008

The One That Thinks Perhaps All Is Not Lost . . .

The Kent Messenger local paper in Canterbury ran a story recently about Tory councillors in the city that elected only to fly the European rag on May 9th, Europe Day.* It would appear that other councils regularly fly the blue thing with stars alongside the Union Flag.

The story says:

[. . .] the Department of Culture Media and Sport [. . .] suggests flying the Union flag on 19 days a year, including the Queen and Prince Philip’s birthdays, Commonwealth Day, Remembrance Sunday and St George’s Day.

Now everyone seems to point to the US as the worst excess of flag-waving nationalism and I must admit that I find their take on it a little extreme on occasion, I prefer the attitude shown by Canada and Denmark. If you go to Toronto or Copenhagen (two utterly charming cities and places I highly recommend visiting) you will see their national flags flying everywhere, all the time. It is done without jingoism or chest beating, it is merely a quiet, confident self assured feeling of pride in their nation. It doesn't mean that the Canadians look down on anyone, or rampaging groups of Danes go around beating seven shades of shit out of any passing Norwegians, it just says, 'You are in Denmark/Canada, we like our country and are very proud of who we are'. And rightly so. No state is Utopia, every country has its problems but all things considered I can think of no countries that afford better opportunities or a more agreeable life than Canada or Denmark.

I wonder what Copenhagen City Council would say if their equivalent of the Dept. of Culture, Media, Sport, Watermelons, Navel Gazing and Losing The Will To Bloody Live came rocking up and 'suggested' a list of days when it is deemed acceptable to fly the Dannebrog? I'm assuming the normally quiet, reserved and considered Danes would find some old Viking blood boiling under the surface, and perhaps an old Viking battle axe under the stairs.

Now, the KM instigated a poll about this lack of EuroRag, and I appreciate that these things are not accurate, I also appreciate that I have no idea about the political (if any) bias that prevails at Kent Messenger Towers and that the following quotes suit my purposes entirely:

Carl Taylor, who gave his address as England, said in his Speak Out comments: “The EU flag as far as I am concerned stands for slavery to the great EU-uber state. I shall always fly the one that means the most to me – the George Cross.”

Derek George, from Margate, shows his feelings for the EU flag with the comment: “I keep an EU flag near the never know when you will run out of toilet paper!!”

And Neil Bailey, from Herne Bay, says the Union Flag should be flown at public buildings all year round, together with the St George’s flag, and adds: “We are too prone to giving up our national identity in this country and should not be ashamed of promoting Britain.”

Linda Clegg, of Westgat-on Sea, had an emphatic no to flying the EU flag. She says: “I am English, not British, and as such want to see our own English flag flying at all times, not the European flag. I will never consider myself European!”

Now, of course, Westminster and Brussels/Strasbourg would have us believe that we all want to live together as bestest friends in the world ever. That is why we don't need a say, because it's obvious, is it not? The Irish were mistaken and it is time to investigate what democracy actually means - H/T to Trixy. (Do watch the video attached to her posting, it is thoroughly chilling.)

We are concerned that we are sleepwalking to serfdom and that people will quietly accept the salami slicing of their liberties. Perhaps this ridiculous stealth union that we have NEVER been given a say on is really beginning to lose its life force.

Here's hoping.

* Wiki describes Europe Day 'as an annual celebration of peace and unity in Europe.'
Great, when do the lorry loads of EastAsian soldiers turn up for execution? Give me strength. It would be remiss of me not to mention NATO.

Friday, 15 August 2008

The One That's Going To Play A Little Game . . .

It's no good, as much as I want to, there's no ignoring it. Just like taxes, death and crabs, (OK, perhaps not crabs) there's no getting away from the Olympic Shames.

So I look forward to seeing the competitors lining up for the running very fast over a short distance event, then I can pick them out of the line-up:

'He's on drugs. He's on drugs. He's shite and needs to be on drugs. He needs to ask the other two what drugs they are on, coz his aren't working as well. He's British so if he gets caught out it's because there's been a terrible mix-up in the lab. He's from Malawi so can't afford drugs.'

It really is quite good fun. Almost as fun as seeing how incredibly seriously these people take themselves. Why they don't all just get sponsorship from Pfizer, Glaxo and Bayer is beyond me. It could be like F1.

'Well, Brian, he's a decent sprinter, but of course Johnson & Johnson's drugs for sprints just don't perform as well as the stuff knocked out by Astra-Zeneca. J&J will do much better in the middle distance events.'

I just hope that when they keel over of a heart-attack aged 40, their kids understand why it was so important for them to be very good at running around and jumping over things.

Oh, and to re-visit Dwain Chambers, he was definitely on drugs and still didn't win. Useless bloody tosser.

Wednesday, 13 August 2008

The One That Thinks It Matters Very Much. . .

How often do we hear the phrase 'there's no point in voting, they're all the bloody same, aren't they?'

And one can only say 'Yes.'

'And no.' It's ok, I'm not about to embark on some puff peice of how life would be all fluffy bunnies and singing birdies if only we all voted LPUK, even if I do think life would be considerably better.

I'll provide some evidence that both the main parties are as similar as makes no difference. The first article (with a hat-tip to Old Holborn) shows plans by that loathsome, dictatorial arse-clown Brown to effectively do away with Coroner's inquests. If it is judged in the 'national interest' (Oh yeah, by whom? Oh? MP's? There's a startling fucking surprise) then they could be held in camera. The second, which was brought to my attention by Obnoxio the Clown, shows that the Tories are positively itching to delve into as many facets of our lives as they possibly can.

Yep, they are just about the same. Nineteen Eighty-Four, telescreens, Thought Police and so forth. Of course all this is down to our old friend, Security Reasons (Nurse! The Pills! The Pills!).

The first idea is to ensure that the national interest is protected. Let's not mince words here, it isn't the national interest, it is in the interests of your party not looking like a bunch of right schmucks because somebody has carped it due to your actions.

The second stems from legislation that no doubt bore the tag 'in extreme circumstances' when added to the statute, it amounts to the poor old chap nicked for taking a picture of a cop-car. I'll go back to 1984 and direct you all to the passage from 'The Book' entitled 'Chapter III - War is Peace.'

I hate this, I hate them, and given the opportunity would probably quite happily visit physical pain upon their persons. They are the worst of the hubristic mediocre who will not rest until they control absolutely every single aspect of your existence. So don't bloody let them. You still have that ability, in the name of Mary, mother of God, Jesus and all the little orphans, use that ability because they WILL take it away from you.

Do not vote for these arseholes, vote for anybody, anybody else. Come the next election, if there is no LPUK candidate in my constituency I'll vote for some single-issue indie. Some guy with a beard, a jumper and a pipe who needs to get into Westminster because the council won't build a hedgehog underpass. Let's fill the house with them.

Just get these bastards, of all political colours, out of our wallets and out of our lives, because if we don't in fifteen years you'll all be asking 'How did this happen? Why do I need a permit to travel from Devon to Cornwall?' (Security Reasons) 'Why do I have a centrally, government issued email address which is monitored?' (Security Reasons) 'Why do my babies have to have their DNA taken at birth?' (Crime Prevention) 'Why have elections been suspended?' (National Interest, Emergency Measures) 'Why do I need an exit visa to leave the country?' (Integrity of Borders)

I'll be able to tell you, but you'll have to call me whilst I live in another country far, far away from here. And you'll probably have to book the call in advance. And you know that someone will be listening in, I mean, you could be talking to a terrorist, a climate change denier, someone who will say that children are obese, or will denounce the glory of the European Federation, anybody.

Friday, 8 August 2008

The One That Will Be Watching Today. . .

I don't care about drug abusing athletes, an irrelevant football tournament (Christ, even the Court of Arbitration for Sport agree), or swimmers. I really don't care about fencing, rhythmic gymnastics and squash. As for Tae-Kown Do, skeet shooting and the modern pentathlon, well . . .

I do care about the ordinary Chinese people who have been swept off the streets in case they cause a scene, or had their houses swept away to build the infrastructure - in an attempt to show what a nice open place China really is, if you'd mind awfully not talking to that peasant, taking photos there or talking about that.

I do mind that competitors who are trusted to flog us breakfast cereals and running shoes aren't trusted to comment on 'political points.' What? Like the right not to be pulled out of your house at stupid o'clock and sent to a 're-education camp' for suggesting things like it isn't nice to beat seven shades of shit out of Tibetan Monks or complaining that you need a visa to travel around your own fucking country. That's not politics, that's just being able to live like a normal human being.

I find it amusing that the IOC are bemused that the free and uncensored internet access promised to the press corps by the Chinese government has turned out to be not as free and uncensored as everyone had hoped. What did they expect? What are they going to do? Take the games away a week before they are due to start?

This talk about the games opening China up is bollocks. You think ZNL are obsessed with control? Well, the Chinese government will stop at nothing, nothing, to ensure that absolutely everything goes their way. In London in four years we'll no doubt see the same practices employed in the name of 'security reasons' as the organisers work closely with the team in China, that will probably make these games a huge success.

Al-Beeb's Newsnight last night had an interesting peice with a reporter (Rupert W-H if my memory serves) trolling around the countryside, it showed how thin the veneer of civilisation was, it was straight out of 1984, and utterly terrifying. Try and catch it on i-player, (it's not yet up as I write this the next morning. Perhaps it is undergoing a re-edit?) it was a damn sight better than the cringe inducing puff-peice peddled on The Culture Show the other evening.

Way to go George W, bravely criticising China's human rights record from Thailand. Perhaps you'd mind stopping the execution* of educationally sub-normal (and normally poor and/or black) citizens, and apologise for your brother's cyncial dis-enfranchising of hundreds of poor and/or black voters.

However, I will be watching the opening ceremony, mainly because I love squirming on the sofa as the commentators (Huw Edwards and Hazel Irvine today) try to make some sense of the utter, utter bollocks going on in front of them, reading from a script with cod artistic symbollism that would make a student writing a GCSE English poetry essay blush.

'. . . and now dozens of small children, all dressed in scarlet, dance about in a representation of the blood escaping the anus of the Emperor Minge after a particularly bad attack of piles in the 8th Century. . .'

Wouldn't miss it for the world.

*I am well aware that many Libertarians are pro-death penalty. I am right against it. Ignoring the whole 'let him have it' and 'what if the jury are wrong' debate, I just feel that the death penalty is vengence rather than justice. The taking of a life in revenge would send me to prison as an individual, doing it as a society does not legitimise it.

Tuesday, 5 August 2008

The One That Is Aware These Are The Sort Of People We Are Dealing With . . .

Al-Beeb reports on a weapons stash found in woodland near the 'Climate Camp' at the Kingsnorth Power Station in Kent.

A "stash of knives and weapons" has been found near the Climate Camp in Kent, police have said.

Officers said they recovered the weapons from a wooded area on the Hoo peninsula on Monday evening.

I'll start with the science bit. I'm no expert, but I've seen enough evidence to ensure that my appreciation of the climate change lobby's claims is sceptical.

Here's the Libertarian bit. I have absolutely no problem with these people protesting for what they believe in. I think they are misguided, but it is their right to voice their opinion and I support that right fully.

Here's the problematic bit. These people have obviously brought weapons along because they are expecting trouble. I don't buy the line that the police planted it. They could simply move them on for 'security reasons' or nick them under the terrorism act.

I'm not even sure that they brought these weapons along to use on the police.

I've seen people of this ilk operate before. I still remember the actions of the hunt saboteurs at Charing point to point races one Easter Monday many years ago. Despite the fact that there was no (pre-ban) hunting going on*, they poured forth a stream of abuse and intimidation at the race goers, left an explosive device in one of the portaloos on site and threw smoke grenades into some racing horses as they passed.

These people claim to stand for freedom, but at the end of the day, if you have an opinion that differs from them, watch out, because they will use intimidation, insults and smears against you. Some of them will resort to violence. There will be no debate, there will be no rational argument or investigation of environmental or economic evidence. It is in case anyone with a contrary view to theirs turns up that these weapons have been stockpiled. I detest these people. They are the worst kind of cowardly, violent authoritarians.

Ironic that the BBC will no doubt be accused of being 'climate change deniers' by these loons. I'd accuse them of furthering the agenda at every opportunity. Funny old world, innit?

* And whilst we're on the subject, why do hunt sabs still disrupt people going for a morning's ride? I don't take a camcorder along to Wildwood, just to make sure that they don't indulge in the illegal practice of badger baiting. It's nothing to do with animal rights, it is a class war and an urban misunderstanding of country life, nothing more.