Yes, but what is it you actually want?

I'm sat here watching Sky News' coverage of the latest strike cum tear-up in Greece. A crushing realisation has dawned upon me.

Firstly, this whole episode is self-perpetuating and can only end one way. One of two things will happen. The Greek parliament will vote through the latest austerity measures and get the bail out. People will keep striking, the goverment may come down, but it doesn't matter because whoever takes their place will be in exactly the same situation. It'll happen again in October. Maybe they'll get another bail out, certainly sooner or later they'll go to the well to find it empty and Greece will have option but default. Or, parliament will vote down the austerity measures, the government will resign, but it doesn't matter because whoever takes their place will be in exactly the same situation and Greece will default.

The powers that be in the EU and the IMF will argue this is not the case until the cows come home but it is utterly predictable in its inevitability.

But what is it the Greek public want?

Well, here are the stats Sky are running in their report on Greece:

• The average retirement age in Greece is 61 - but millions of workers in public and private sectors retire at 50. (Life expectancy - 79)
• Whilst paying out pensions, the Greek government has failed to generate incomes to cover this cost. Tax evasion seems to be a national sport. Only 5,000 Greeks declare an income of over €100k (£89k). Self declared income is rarely challenged and loses the Greek economy an estimated £13bn a year.

So, the Greeks are out on the street demonstrating against increases in taxes nobody pays, an increase in the retirement age which is ignored by over 10 years at any rate, and a cut in spending which, as the current situation shows, even with large reductions already put in place, the Greeks haven't a hope of funding anyway.

So what do the Greeks want? Well, I can draw only one conclusion; they want to continue retiring at 50 on a state pension, pay no tax, have all their services and have somebody else pay for it.

Well, you know what?

Fuck you.

This isn't the fault of greedy bankers, corrupt politicians or evil big business. This is your fault. Oh granted the politicians made the pension laws, they spent the cash, they didn't collect the taxes, but who put them there? You did. Did you not think at any point 'there's something wrong here, I'm only paying €100 tax a year, how can we afford this?'

And then complacently and selfishly you came up with the answer. 'You'll pay for it.'

Did you really think your EU masters would just hand over the cash without condition? Fools. They own you now. Protest all you like. Burn your cities to the ground for all I care, it will make no difference. Your politicians will continue to pass laws, but they've yet to enforce any of the fiscal laws they put in place thus far, why would they start now? Either the IMF, ECB or EU will slam the door shut, or the market will. Why the hell should I pay for your laziness and greed?

That being said, you also have my thanks, because your actions appear to have holed this horrible, authoritarian, corrupt and greedy European project below the waterline. Let's hope the hull breach expands further.

Well, you asked for it.

Hey, you. Yes, you! Want a tenner?

It's yours. Well, it's not yours, but you can have it. You deserve it.

Of course what you don't realise is that the tenner I'm giving you is actually yours. It was to start with, what I've done is promised everyone a tenner, but some people don't have a tenner to start with, so in order to give everyone a tenner I have to take a tenner and a fiver from those who do have the cash to start with.

People like getting tenners. Because people like it so much, they vote for me. They still haven't realised that it was their tenner in the first place.

I've had an idea. Perhaps if I promise people two tenners, more of them would vote for me. Hmmm, yes, I like that. What do I care that I actually don't have all these tenners? What do I care that if you add up all the tenners in the country, it doesn't actually equal all the tenners I've promised to shell out? By the time everyone's realised what's happened, I'll have stepped down or been kicked out in favour of the bloke who has promised everyone three tenners.

All of a sudden, all the people I borrowed tenners from to give to you, on the promise of them getting their tenners back, plus a fiver, based on the fact that the magic money pixie will pay a visit, want their tenners back.

Oh dear. I've got no tenners.

All of a sudden people are getting angry. The people I borrowed the tenners from are asking 'where's my bloody tenner?' All the people I promised tenners to are asking 'where's my bloody tenner? You told me it was mine. I demand my tenner, or I'm going to smash the place up. My tenner, my tenner, you said, miiiiiiiiiiine!'

But you know what? Here's the really good bit. All those tenners I borrowed? I didn't borrow them in my name, oh no, I borrowed them in yours. Clever, isn't it?

And then, and then, when everyone gets really cross, I get together with all the other tenner promisers and set up a unity government. What this means is that all the people who were promised tenners will be faced with a choice at the next election of voting for someone who promised them a tenner, can't deliver on that promise and wants them to pay two tenners for the tenner that they gave their dad, or for someone who promised them a tenner, can't deliver on that promise and wants them to pay two tenners for the tenner that they gave their dad.

OK, it may not be me, but it will be one of my friends that wins, and we are all friends really, even if we pretend we're not.

Tenners all round!

Greece really is screwed.

But hey! Don't worry!

Reuters report that Standard & Poor's have downgraded Greece's sovereign debt down three notches to 'Run away, far away and quite fast at that'.

Making it the lowest credit rating held by a nation in the world.

That's the world.

That's a European country, in the 21st Century, with a worse credit rating than North Korea, Bolivia, Burkina Faso, Zimfuckingbabwe and, well, everywhere.

They are more screwed than the wife of the brother of a media-shy Premier League footballer on her wedding night.

Funnily enough, EUroparl has nothing to say about this. But then why should they when there is such joyous news? Rejoice, rejoice in the highest for I bring glad tidings!

Parliament on Wednesday gave its green light for Bulgaria and Romania to join the Schengen border check-free area. MEPs say they have met the entry conditions, based on progress reports, but . . .

I dunno, there's always a but, isn't there? Tsk!

add that Parliament should be kept informed of additional measures taken in the Bulgaria-Turkey-Greece area to cope with a possible surge in migration pressure.

Yeah, because people aren't going to go any further than non-EU Turkey, bankrupt Greece and (frankly bizarre) Bulgaria, are they? No siree, the Iraqis, Kurds and Turks aren't going to dream of crossing the borders, are they? They're all going to settle down in wonderful, wonderful Plovdiv.

Likewise, no-one from Moldova or Ukraine would dream of hopping through Romania to the west of the continent, which is so conveniently signposted 'free money'.

No, no problems at all. Especially as Romania and Bulgaria don't feature at numbers 69 and 73 respectively in Transparency International's corruption index below the likes of Rwanda, Ghana and (gulp) Tunisia, Saudi and Bahrain. 

Meanwhile the Croats (or at least their politicians, I don't know if the ratification of any treaty is subject to a popular referendum there, for their sake I hope it is) have signed their own death warrant by being granted entry to a club where making an application should be grounds for black-balling in the first place.

Looking north, the Danes appear to have at least realised there is a sum sat in front of them, waiting  to be done, even if they haven't got round to working out what 2+2 is equal to. They'll get there in the end, bloody good luck to them. Oh, sure the usual 'extreme right wing' and 'racist' tags will be strewn liberally around, but once you realise this is the only weapon the EUrophiles have, it doesn't hurt.

The lot of them, they're bloody mad.

Can we leave yet?

What happens when they've sold everything?

The European Central Bank said on Thursday it opposed forcing private creditors to take part in debt relief for Greece, pushing back against Germany, which has demanded a bond swap to lengthen Greek debt maturities.

Errrrm. . .

ECB President Jean-Claude Trichet signalled the hard line at the bank's monthly news conference, as new figures from Athens showed the Greek economy shrank by 5.5 percent in the first quarter of the year, a far sharper rate than expected.

5.5%? 5.5 bloody percent? Sweet Mary, mother of Jesus and all the baby orphans. Can you imagine the triumphalism if our economy managed to grow by that much in one quarter? 5.5% is a bloody catastrophe.

The data cast fresh doubt on Greece's ability to meet targets for cutting its budget deficit, part of a 110 billion euro (97.6 billion pound) bailout agreed with the European Union and the International Monetary Fund in May last year.

I'm not bloody surprised, the country is bleeding to death. How on Earth have they ended up being down so much that even almost £100bn gifted to them doesn't solve the problem?

The EU is now considering another aid package for Athens, and euro zone sources told Reuters on Thursday the new deal would total about 120 billion euros, with the EU and IMF providing up to half of that sum and the rest coming from Greek privatisation revenues and private creditors.

So that totals £200bn give or take. That is an unimaginable figure. It's all very well talking about privatisation revenues, but does the Greek government (and by that we really should say the Greek people) own assets amounting to £50bn? Even if they did, how would they ever expect to reach that revenue total given that the whole thing promises to be a fire sale of epic proportions?

Moody's Investors Service warned a Greek default could impact the ratings of Ireland and Portugal, the two other euro zone countries that have required bailouts.

So if the Greek people dig their heels in, they could bring down Ireland and Portugal? Bloody hell.

The ECB, the European Commission and countries including France have warned against any Greek debt restructuring that involves coercion of investors, for fear that it could alarm markets and spread contagion to bigger members of the euro zone such as Spain.

And Italy, and probably everybody else involved in the currency.

Greece has to default, it is the only way they stand a chance to recover. Voluntary bankruptcy is often held up as a (last resort) solution to personal financial ills, but surely it is better than lying in the gutter with the rats feeding on your still warm corpse?

They have to pull the plug. They have to wipe the slate clean, they have to re-introduce their own currency, a currency which will make Greece so much more attractive to tourists and importers of produce, they simply cannot survive in this millpond with the grinding stone hanging around their neck, they will drown.

Look, I want the Euro to collapse, I want the hateful, horrible and corrupt EU to disappear, but bloody hell, no-one deserves this. Unfortunately I fear it will be an oft-repeated sight as the lights in the Eurozone wink out one by one, and a whole continent of people will be reduced to penury. It will stand as a monument to the vanity and arrogance of the EUrocrat class that have the gall to demand still more of our produce is poured down their throats.


The Greeks, already poor, will be impoverished, whilst their 'betters' vote themselves bigger expense payments, higher wages and ever more extravagant largesse. For shame.


Can we leave yet?

For shame.    

Well, they would say that, wouldn't they?

European Union member states should agree on a strong candidate from Europe to replace Dominique Strauss-Kahn as head of the International Monetary Fund, the European Commission said on Thursday.

Well, colour me surprised. Any particular reason for that? Let me think. . .

No. Can't think of one at all.

Oh, hang on.

Is it because their beloved currency is currently been dragged down under the weight of financial disasters brought about by their own vanity and incompetence?

As the biggest contributor to the IMF, it was natural that the 27 EU states should agree on a candidate, Commission spokeswoman Pia Ahrenkilde Hansen told journalists.

Really? Is the EU the biggest contributor to the IMF? I thought it was the Americans. Oh, I see what you did there, what you did was add up the contributions made by the national economies of EU member states, and then, even less surprisingly, the European Commission tries to pass it off as its own. Note well, when the EU says 'should' it means 'must', 'will' or 'shall', this is not a suggestion, this is an order.

The EU's top economic official, Olli Rehn, said knowledge of the European economy would be a useful qualification for any new IMF chief.

"It is essential that the managing director of the IMF will be chosen based on merit and competence," he told a business conference in Brussels. "It is a merit if the person to be chosen for this task has knowledge of the European economy."

I'll translate that for you:

The EU's top economic official, Olli Rehn, said doing what they are bloody told by the European Commission would be a useful qualification for any new IMF chief.

"It is essential that the managing director of the IMF will be chosen based on our ability to control them completely," he told a business conference in Brussels. "It is a merit if the person to be chosen for this task has surrendered themselves completely to the European Commission."

Now watch as some French bird is railroaded in to the job, despite what the Americans, Brazilians, Chinese, Indians and Russians want or think. Don't for one minute think that the EU's ambitions are penned in by the Volga, Atlantic, Arctic ocean and the Med. They are desperate to extend their influence.

What is even more laughable is the BBC's continual breathless promotion of Gordon Brown (remember him? He's still an MP, although nobody has seen hide nor hair of him for about twelve months. You must remember him, one eyed bloke, fond of a bit of nostril gardening, the man who oversaw the biggest accrual of debt and most spectacular financial crash this country has ever seen. Yes. Him.) as one of the front runners for the job.

Really?

Really?

This is the man who Obama pretty much hid behind the sofa from when he came to visit. This is the man I'm sure the SNP are paying the Labour party huge amounts of money to assure he comes out squarely against independence because it would be a certain win. This is the man that Cameroid (rightly, for once) points at saying 'it's all his fault'. Are we to believe that this government would back Brown's appointment? His stock is lower than a snake's scrotum.

C'mon BBC, give it up. You're starting to look like a psycho ex-lover who keeps turning up on the doorstep weeping profusely.

Don't mention the debt!

Let us suppose that after paying your national insurance, income tax, council tax, fuel tax, tax on that tax, insurance premium tax, road tax, value added tax and any other tax you can think of, that you've got a few quid left over that hasn't been swallowed up.

Let us suppose for a minute that you decide to invest that money somewhere.

Let us suppose for a moment longer that you've spent the last two years living under a log, delivering diversity training to a family of woodlice, and haven't really been paying attention to what's been going on.

So you scrape your few quid together and you seek the advice of someone who, you hope, has a decent idea of what he's talking about, what's hot and what's not. You rock up at his office and state that you'd been thinking of investing the cash into government bonds. Greek government bonds.

Assuming your chap isn't a complete mouth breathing simpleton, you'd expect him to say something along the lines of 'that's probably not a great idea, interest rates are through the roof on Bubble Bonds at the moment, it represents a great return if those bonds are honoured, but I'm concerned that the Greek government will default. It's a high risk investment, and I'd advise against it.'

You'd hope, wouldn't you?

However, it would seem that if your man does this, he's going to find himself in a spot of hot water. . .

The Greek authorities have asked Interpol to question a London trader over an email he sent which talked of the high chance of a Greek default.

The email, published in a Greek newspaper, refers to "increased noise" over a Greek debt restructuring as early as Easter.

Greece is highly sensitive to allegations it may not stick to strict repayment terms on its recent bail-out.

Sensitive? It is one bottle of ouzo away from not being able to cover the bonds. We're talking serious bankruptcy here. We're talking taking a hammer to the piggy bank and finding a button, an old washer and an escudo which is worth only slightly more than a drachma. When it goes down, they're going be broker than the brokest thing you can think of, and we're going to have to pay for it. They're sensitive? Well excuse me, I wouldn't want to hurt your feelings. Hang on, my chequebook's here, how much do you want?

The finance ministry says the incident amounts to "possible criminal conduct".

Really? Under what law? The we must never upset the broke bubbles act? Jesus H Christ on a little purple tricycle with a bell and hi-viz jacket.

Greece's Finance Minister George Papaconstantinou insisted on Wednesday that Greece could deal with its debt mountain. 

Oh well, that's fine then. What was I concerned about?

Tell the truth and say that you're concerned about someone not paying a debt, in an email, and Interpol get called in? They really are madder than Mad Stavros Theopopodopoloopyous, winner of Greece's maddest man competition.

And so it grows.

 

So Portugal have become the latest region to move from sovereign state to component of a Federal Europe by asking for a bail-out.

No doubt we'll have to put our hands in our pockets to support them. I feel for the Portuguese people. They are our oldest allies.

Actually, I don't feel for them at all. They have demanded that they continue the lifestyle that has proven so unsustainable and so they see their country's independence sold for 70 billion pieces of silver. We may have gone wading in during the peninsula war, but in the end it looks like Portugal will become a part of a super-European state after all. What a good job that France isn't governed by a touchy, short-tempered short arse anymore.

Oh. . .

It isn't all bad news, as this brings the gaze firmly onto Spain's economy as people run from one burning house to the next in an attempt to safeguard their cash. I just don't see how Europe will be able to afford a bail out for Spain, and the request will come. If they say no, then all bets are off. If they say yes then watch the German financiers have a fit to end all fits.

Interesting times. . .

Selfishness and self-fulfilling prophecies.

Ever feel like you've been played for a fool?

 

I'm not sure why there's a big banner with Thatcher on it, though. Are these people aware that she left Number 10 over twenty years ago? You may as well march around with a banner proclaiming William I to be a bit of a rotter. Let it go.

I really do have sympathy for those staring down the barrel of the cuts, people are going to lose their jobs and that sucks. There are some who will imply that a large number of the (TUC) estimated 200,000 people are lazy, feckless and incompetent. A number of them will be, but nowhere near as much as some would have you believe. There are some who will imply that an equally large number of those marching will be of the opinion that that it is just and right that money be taken from people to fund their job whether it needs doing or not. Again, a number of them will be, but nowhere near as much as some would have you believe. There are also some who would have you believe that the majority of these people would protest against a Tory government regardless of what policies they put in place. Well, you get where I'm coming from.

What frustrates me are the simple facts that have been ignored and will continue to be ignored by the Unions. Firstly there is the myth that these cuts are savage. They aren't. Not even close. These cuts represent the bare minimum that any government who wants to present even a pretence at cutting the defecit could make. Government spending is increasing, taxation on the public is increasing. This is because of the enormous interest payments we must make. Government borrowing has never been greater.

Many Trade Unionists were howling with rage at Osborne's comments about the 50% income tax band being temporary. These Trade Unionists demand that their livelihoods be protected whilst others have their's ripped from them. They see no irony or disparity in this. The self proclaimed great bastions of equality and solidarity would happily see people left destitute. 'Oh, come on.' I hear you say. 'These people are rich, they can afford it.' Well, yes. But how long will they put up with it? With the sort of cash and skills they have, any country in the world would welcome them with open arms. What happens to the employees when the rich up sticks and move, taking their business with them? What then for the cleaners and clerks? The production line employees and drivers? The shop stewards? What happens when these people lose their jobs? When their tax revenue dries up? You think the cuts are savage now?

The marchers have been whipped up into a state of hysteria by the Trade Unions. It is all very well Brendan Barber, Mark Serwotka and Bob Crow calling for strikes, their very handsome pay packets are not subject to being docked when their members go out on strike. What do they care if someone loses a day's, two day's, a week's wages? Having used their muscle to get their man in the big chair at the Labour party against the wishes of the party membership, they will do anything to destabilise the government and have their puppet put in place, dancing on the end of a string which they hold in their fist. The multitude marching are footsoldiers in this campaign, unquestioningly following the orders handed down to them by their own 50% tax paying overlords. And they are paying for the privilege. I'd be speechless in admiration of the genius if it wasn't so utterly sinister.

We then have the political placemen in councils and government departments all over the country. After thirteeen years of Labour rule, the placemen in government departments accounts for pretty much all the senior managers, Labour ensured this was the case. Before the cuts they warned it was front-line services that would be hit, and by God they've made sure their prophecy has come true. I've seen it in my own department; front line staff being given the elbow whilst the cake eating, tofu promoting, community cohesion diversity outreach social engagement inclusivity officers continue to take home one and a half times the wage of those being given the heave-ho. Is it Cameron and Osborn handing out the P45's? No, it is those people installed by Labour ensuring their prophecies come to pass.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, there is no magic money tree. We have spent the last thirteen years spending, spending, spending, spending, spending, borrowing, borrowing, borrowing, borrowing, borrowing, taxing, taxing, taxing, taxing. The amount taken from us makes us the most taxed people in the world, the amount raised does not match the amount borrowed, the amount borrowed is less still than the amount spent, the amount that continues to be spent. It is always the result of a Labour government.

For thirteen years the Trade Unions have known about it, and they said nothing. They ceased to be bodies representing their members a long time ago, they are now political entities seeking to impose their view without recourse to anything as grubby as democracy. Their silence over the last thirteen years, when they knew full well that the cuts would come in the end, is a betrayal of their members. Now to further their own ends, they send their troops into battle. Sure some of them will fall, but what does it matter? They still have their £145,000 a year pay packets and now they have the leader of the opposition in their pockets.

This is not some idealogical crusade by the Conservatives, they'd spend like a drunken sailor in port to cement their own position, if they could - the fact is that they've smashed open the piggy bank to find a button, a washer and a startled spider are the contents. There is no money. OK? There is no money. Remember the letter? There is no money. I don't know how much more clearly it can be said. There is no money. There is no money. There is no money.

God help us if we end up in the same position as Greece, Ireland and Portugal, because there will be no bail-out. We'll be on our own. Or worse still, there will be a bail-out, and the strings that come attached do not bear thinking about.

I have a friend due to give birth in June. It will be her first child. I submit that it is the height of selfishness to expect this unborn child to spend their entire life in penury, just so you can continue your lifestyle of new telly, regular clothes purchases, meals out, cinema tickets and two holidays a year.

As a Trade Union member you'll have to accept that if you voted Labour (and you probably did) that you voted for this, you voted for the spending. You believed Gordon when he banged on about prudence and golden rules. When everyone else was warning you about it, you ignored them, because life was so good. It was so easy.

Like I said, it sucks. It is horrible. But like the alcoholic who has just one more drink, the smackhead who needs just one final hit, you've allowed yourself to become addicted to the cash. Well, I'm sorry, you do not have the right to demand money from the unborn. Granted, you didn't spend the cash, but you gave the OK for people to do it for you. You have the right to vote, but all rights come with responsibilities. You exercised your right. It is now time to be responsible.

The really mindblowing thing is that Labour will be back in power again one day. You'll put them there. Despite every lesson of history telling you otherwise, you'll expect a different outcome next time. It is insanity.

Obrigado, Portugal.

It would seem that the economically functioning part of the Eurozone (and no doubt those EU members with the common sense to have stayed out of the Euro as well) will have to put their hands in their pockets to support the economically destitute part again.

According to the BBC, the Portuguese parliament has voted down the budget of spending cuts and tax rises which the Prime Minister was kinda banking on. As a result he's resigned and there will likely be an election to follow.

I'm delighted, OK, it may cost us a few more million, but to be honest, we're so in hock at the moment, it doesn't really matter. But this will cause more discontent in Germany. They grumbled over Greece, there was even the stamping of feet over Ireland, who knows what reaction this will bring forth, as a bail-out is pretty much a certainty.

Empires tend to evolve into existence, and with a couple of exceptions, tend to fade away. Like all quick build projects, the EU was made of concrete, it is cracked and the water is seeping in. As soon as that happens the fate of the building is sealed. Portugal is another squall.

Portugal can be bailed out, it won't empty the coffers completely, but what it will do is increase the burden further. Portugal is in this mess because they've had the same problems as Greece and Ireland, but here's the important bit - not as bad. But as people ran from Greece to Ireland in panic over their government bonds, they've also run in panic from Ireland to Portugal. As soon as everyone breathes a sigh of relief over their Portuguese bonds, they'll go running to the next worst place, Spain. If Spain goes under, then all bets are off, there's no halfway practical way that Spain can be bailed out, there just isn't the money. The financial institutions will complain loudly enough, but what happens when the people on the street find their taxes put up to bail out a foreign power?

Van Remploy and Barroso can go on about nation states not existing as much as they like, but they'll find out how many people reject that notion when the industrialised workers of the Rhineland find their savings being raided again to bail out a load of Portuguese and Spanish fishermen.

We owe the Portuguese parliament a debt of thanks, because the only way we're going to get out of the EU anytime soon is via financial collapse, there's not a hope of us being given a referendum.

Of course, the irony is that the Portuguese have rejected it because the idea of the something for nothing, big brothers and sisters picking up the bill culture winking out of existence is just too horrible to consider. They honestly think that by rejecting the budget they're ensuring the continuation of the life they've become accustomed to over the last 21 years. They're not. The other irony is, that by rejecting the budget, they are ensuring their indebtedness to the machine. Had they passed it, following an extended period of discomfort they'd have probably come out the other side.

However, their actions may, just, provide our salvation.

And so it begins. . .

Doesn't take long for things to unravel, does it? And the Euro, and perhaps the EU, is starting to look like Fraudley Harrison one minute into the third round with David Haye.

The natives are getting restless in Ireland, which is encouraging as their method of showing displeasure is pretty much the same as ours. Demos in Athens are all very well, but the song has remained the same, it takes a steely determination to change the game rather than hysterical displays.

What is galling in Ireland is that despite Fianna Fail (and how apt that name seems now) managing to wave goodbye to two thirds of their market share, the locals have plumped for Sinn Fein, a party which, as far as I can make out, is as slavishly devoted to the EuroProject as any you care to mention. Just as with the SNP, they demand independence (and will kill for it) so they can hook their wagon up to an even more overpowering organisation. England may have been a bad neighbour in the past, but the EU will not rest until they become completely homogenised Europeans. No more green, no more Gaelic, no more St. Patrick's day, just the blue rag with the yellow stars.

The Portuguese and the Spanish must have very twitchy chocolate starfish. The Swedes, those paragons of social-collectivism have come out and basically said that the piggy bank is now empty. Sky have been pointing out the yield numbers on Spanish and Portuguese bonds heading north at an alarming rate as the crowd, in a panic, sprints from Dublin to Lisbon and Madrid. It will take only one member to refuse to cough up for everyone else to follow suit, although I didn't think for one moment it would be Sweden, I was thinking of the Danes or the Germans. Once a bailout is refused, the gig is up. All the little boys in the gang will get very worried, because they know that when the fecal matter collides with the rotating air-cooling device, the big hitters will sprint off towards the horizon. Indeed the Czechs are already making noises about getting the hell out of Dodge, and the Bulgarians, new boys who must be on their very bestest behaviour in the new school are grumbling as well.

True to form, the BBC are at pains to point out leaving the Euro would be like, really difficult, and y'know, really expensive. Whereas what Ireland and Greece are going through, and what looks likely for Portugal and Spain is a walk in the bloody park and as free as a bird.

Is this how empires end?

Even if this isn't the coup de gras, the EU will be so badly wounded that the merest knock could finish it off. It won't be pretty, and I'd much rather that the EU was wound up by referenda in the individual member states, but we have to be realistic, the powers that be would never allow it. What they can't control is the markets and the markets do not like what they see. This isn't down to a financial accident, it isn't bad luck, the whole show has been built on a foundation of sand and the hope that nobody realises the Emperor is striding around bollock naked. What the EU mandarins want, almost as much as complete, unaccountable power, is cash. Without cash they cannot feather their own beds or grease palms and hand out bribes to their drones.

Make the EU bleed to death financially. I'll not be mourning.

To get all geeky for a moment, this reminds me of the Genesis planet in Star Trek 3. Created by accident when the Genesis device goes off in a battle, Ceti Alpha 5 is transformed in an instant into a habitable planet, only to tear itself apart a few months later because of the instability of the 'ingredients' in the device. Sounds like the EU to me, in geo-political terms it was cooked up in an afternoon and will fall apart just as quickly. It is unfortunate that this result in great discomfort for many people.

So obsessed have the Manadarins been with rushing headlong to the gate marked 'Statehood' that they've built a shack, and what happens to a shack when it suffers a direct hit from a hurricane?

The One That Is Asking 'What Is WRONG With These People?'. . .

I was scrolling through BBC teletext this evening. I don't have a screen capture of it, but thankfully it is reproduced to a lesser extent on their website.

The first story on the news page (101) on BBC teletext is entirely predictable:

Darling 'must cut £36bn', IFS think tank says.

Fair enough.

Scroll to page two and the top story says:

UK to have dedicated space agency.

Errrrrrm. Guys? Hello? HELLO! Anyone home?

For crying out loud. . .

The One That Demands They Shut The Hell Up. . .

Not content with taking money from your pockets and handing it over to charities in the form of your taxes (remember this is the cash that is taken from you under the threat of sending you to prison with all those nasty bin over-fillers and people who take photos in public spaces, if you don't pay up) the Treasury Select Committee has now demanded that more of our taxes be handed out to 'Charities' that lost millions in the Icelandic banking collapse.

All those collectors on the high street, taking your bank details, but not your cash. All those crises that desperately needed cash to urgently tackle the problem of X, all that money was taken and lodged into a bank as an investment.

And having paid out, either by choice or having it ripped from your pay-packet, the Treasury Select Committee wants you to pay again for the charities avarice and incompetence.

But not for the avarice and incompetence of the local authorities, who lost even more of our money, ripped from us and hoarded in Icelandic banks.

I think we can assume when the soup kitchens and doss houses spring up as we spiral to bankruptcy, they will be funded by these charities and not by the local authorities. How will that lump of bread and bowl of broth taste, knowing you've paid for it twice, and will get to eat it only if you pass the completely subjective assessment of a member of the Righteous?

If you've not been, go and have a look at Fake Charities.

The One That Wishes It Were True. . .

I've not said much on the continuing economic situation, this is for a number of reasons. Mainly because I am not an economist, to be honest the theory behind all this makes my brain hurt, I just do not understand the details.

Sometimes the fog clears and I have a moment of something approaching clarity, this afternoon I have had one of those moments. I've just been watching Sky News and apparently McBroon has said that the UK 'can and should be a beacon of light' in these troubled times.

Well, I'm sorry, I don't get it. You can stand there and point at a pile of shite saying it is a pile of golden coins sat on a silver platter until you are blue in the face, it does not alter the fact that it is a pile of shite.

From my simplistic point of view, we have this week seen Woolworth and MFI go to the wall. What the fuck? Are there two bigger names in the UK retail sector? Gone, winked out of existence. I know that MFI have a rep for producing furniture made out of cardboard that falls apart when you look at it, and Woolies is the place where you can get anything you want, unless you need to get something specific, but this is a serious indicator of something.

HBOS were on the brink, Northern Rock saved at the very last minute, a run on a bank, in what we are told is the 4th biggest economy in the world or somesuch.

We have Richard Branson, telling us that 'the economy is fucked.' I've never travelled on his trains, but I've been on his planes and shopped in his music shops, as far as I'm concerned, this guy has some idea what he's talking about.

We now have a government which as of the end of last month, borrowed £16bn. Does that amount of money even exist? If we added up all the coins and banknotes that the Bank of England issued would it add up to that? I don't think so, and if I understand it correctly, we are due to print more cash. Well what is that based on? Didn't Gordon sell a shit-load of our gold at the bottom of the market? What connects these banknotes to something tangible? I was told as a kid that if I took a fiver along to Threadneedle St, then a man in a pinstripe suit and bowler hat would have to give me £5 worth of gold if I demanded it. I've just looked at a £10 note it says 'I promise to pay the bearer on demand the sum of Ten Pounds' it's signed by some bloke called Andrew Bailey, the chief cashier.

Well, £10 of what? Fresh air? Printing more money? Isn't this what happened in inter-war Germany and just recently in Zimbabwe? Fucking Hellski, as DK would put it, I don't even own a wheelbarrow, should I buy one to move my valueless banknotes around in?

How the hell do we pay off £16bn? That's very nearly €350. And this is the problem, as the £ plummets against the €, we're told it is good for export? What are we exporting beyond stag parties to Riga who now faint at the cost of a Latvian pint? What do we make that people want? As far as I can make out, we have one chap selling imaginary money to another bloke, who pays the first chap with more imaginary money he got from a different imaginary source. How the hell that does work? What happens when (like now) no-one wants to buy our imaginary money any more?

And now we look towards those who are taking the piss, Tata, the Indian firm who are the owners of Jaguar want a £1bn bail out, but then fork out Lord knows how much to stick their name on the side of the Ferrari F1 car for next season (H/T to OH). I've been in a Tata truck, believe me, it is hard to imagine anything further removed from a Ferrari.

I understand that everyone across the globe has it tough, although I don't understand what event has brought this situation to a head, but as far as I can see we are not well placed to deal with it, we are well placed for a longer, harder time than most people anywhere else. I also understand that for the last ten years our prosperity has all been down to Gordon's prudent stewardship, except for the last year when it has been a global problem.

In prosperity we were in glorious isolation under the guidance of an economic genuis, in poverty it's nothing to do with him. When do we start blaming the Jews or the Romans as our former colonial masters? It was good enough for Hitler and Mugabe.

Me? I've got a €5 note in my wallet, I'm going to buy some land, some sheep and hire some Kiwi farmers and some Dutch weavers. It worked in the 16th Century and people will always need clothes and food. If no-one buys it, at least I won't be cold and hungry. . .