But hey! Don't worry!

Reuters report that Standard & Poor's have downgraded Greece's sovereign debt down three notches to 'Run away, far away and quite fast at that'.

Making it the lowest credit rating held by a nation in the world.

That's the world.

That's a European country, in the 21st Century, with a worse credit rating than North Korea, Bolivia, Burkina Faso, Zimfuckingbabwe and, well, everywhere.

They are more screwed than the wife of the brother of a media-shy Premier League footballer on her wedding night.

Funnily enough, EUroparl has nothing to say about this. But then why should they when there is such joyous news? Rejoice, rejoice in the highest for I bring glad tidings!

Parliament on Wednesday gave its green light for Bulgaria and Romania to join the Schengen border check-free area. MEPs say they have met the entry conditions, based on progress reports, but . . .

I dunno, there's always a but, isn't there? Tsk!

add that Parliament should be kept informed of additional measures taken in the Bulgaria-Turkey-Greece area to cope with a possible surge in migration pressure.

Yeah, because people aren't going to go any further than non-EU Turkey, bankrupt Greece and (frankly bizarre) Bulgaria, are they? No siree, the Iraqis, Kurds and Turks aren't going to dream of crossing the borders, are they? They're all going to settle down in wonderful, wonderful Plovdiv.

Likewise, no-one from Moldova or Ukraine would dream of hopping through Romania to the west of the continent, which is so conveniently signposted 'free money'.

No, no problems at all. Especially as Romania and Bulgaria don't feature at numbers 69 and 73 respectively in Transparency International's corruption index below the likes of Rwanda, Ghana and (gulp) Tunisia, Saudi and Bahrain. 

Meanwhile the Croats (or at least their politicians, I don't know if the ratification of any treaty is subject to a popular referendum there, for their sake I hope it is) have signed their own death warrant by being granted entry to a club where making an application should be grounds for black-balling in the first place.

Looking north, the Danes appear to have at least realised there is a sum sat in front of them, waiting  to be done, even if they haven't got round to working out what 2+2 is equal to. They'll get there in the end, bloody good luck to them. Oh, sure the usual 'extreme right wing' and 'racist' tags will be strewn liberally around, but once you realise this is the only weapon the EUrophiles have, it doesn't hurt.

The lot of them, they're bloody mad.

Can we leave yet?

Did I do the right thing?

A few days ago I set out my thinking about jumping ship from LPUK to UKIP. Well, my membership card arrived on Monday. That means I can now register for the UKIP forum and read about what is going on in the UKIP world.

I'm not sure how I feel about the UKIP forums being available to registered members only. Posting, probably fair enough, reading? I don't know. One of the strengths of the Libertarian cyber-movement is the ability to access material without trouble, what also sets the Libertarian set apart is the willingness to allow unmoderated comment on party and personal blogs, something most other parties would run a mile from.

Although as we'll see, this isn't without its down sides.

Still, we'll see. I went and visited the old house this morning, to see what has been going on over at the LPUK site. Since I left, it appears that the place has continued to fall apart, although I don't think the two are linked, it was heading that way anyway, that's why I left.

The whole thing is dominated by truth, half-truth, spun-truth, conspiracy theory and complete fantasy. It made it impossible for me to have any faith in any of the people involved. It is a complete bun-fight, and I should imagine to an outside observer it is very, very funny.

There are three news stories over at the LPUK site, where the same old people go on and throw the same old accusations, with the same old people issuing the same old rebuttals, and the same old people running the same old smear campaigns. The comments on these articles really are most . . . interesting? Enlightening? Entertaining? I don't know. But when articles start referencing a forum run by David Icke, you have to wonder who and what is involved in the party.

Maybe there is some grand conspiracy involving Common Purpose, the Illuminati, the Masons and lizards from outer space, I suppose we'll know when tin foil is banned. Up until that point and given the inability of governments to organise the simplest of tasks, I'll remain sceptical.

Have I done the right thing in joining UKIP? That remains to be seen, I do believe that the question of our EU membership is the biggest item on the agenda, arguing about anything else is a waste of time. It's like discussing what colour your new curtains will be while watching your house burn down. What you should be doing is calling the fire brigade. Let's sort the big one out and then worry about the other stuff, eh?

Have I done the right thing in leaving LPUK? Without doubt. I can't read the musings of those involved, the excuses, the accusations, see the smoke and mirrors and the rapidly swivelling eyes, and think that anyone would want to be involved with the party.

To those involved in the ridiculous arguments; well done, you've killed the party stone dead. A plague on both your houses.

Crisis of confidence.

I think I'm losing it folks. I just don't know where to start.

Another politician, this time a sitting MP, pleads guilty to pilfering on a pretty grand scale. Of course this story has been running for ages now. But really, an elected representative shamelessly stealing from the public? In 21st Century Europe? Really? I am still shocked by this. How dare they? It is easy to say this and that about our politicians, but the realisation that our political class really are that venal, that arrogant is a betrayal which makes me as sad as it does angry.

Yet, a stupid sixth form student, who has shown genuine remorse for his actions, backed up a mother who must have searched her soul to the very depths before advising him to turn himself in has been sent to prison for two and a half years. He undoubtedly deserves prison time, but does he deserve more than a man who stole with such ruthless, methodical cynicism? I would submit not. And he never tried to argue he was above the law. Yes, he could have killed someone, but he didn't. Yes, he took the right to peaceful protest and stamped all over it, but pretty much every government has done worse in our name.

Like trying to stop people receiving vaccinations against a disease we're all told to be very very very scared of. Really? What do you want to do? Hang on to the vaccine so people you don't like won't get it?

The BBC, the organisation which perhaps represents best the modern attitude of equality, diversity and a whole host of other left wing policies has been found guilty of age discrimination (and in my opinion, were lucky not to be found guilty of sex discrimination as well) in such a fashion that the Guardianistas would have been screaming for blood had it been any other organisation or business in the country. Really? Really? I mean, how? Or is this another case of rules only applying to the little people?

Then to top it all, some complete arsehole has stolen a meerkat from my local wildlife park, a place I am very fond of, because. . . well, why? Why would you steal a meerkat? Lovely little buggers they are, very endearing, and yes they are high profile because of the advertising campaign, but as a house pet? No. That's not going to work. They are social animals and I should imagine when in distress will make a real mess of someone's house. I fear that when this becomes apparent in the next couple of days, the poor little sod will end up dead in a dustbin.

What I want to know is this, has the world really gone totally barking? Am I the only sane one about, or is it me that is the nutter? Because I'm having real trouble squaring this circle.

Oh. Yes of course.

These people run a country.

Saudi Arabian officials have "detained" a vulture on accusations of being a spy for Israel, media reports say.

The griffon vulture was carrying a GPS transmitter bearing the name of Tel Aviv University, prompting rumours it was part of a Zionist plot.

Wha. . . how . . . but. . . you're kidding? You are kidding, right?

Last month, Egyptian officials implied the Israeli spy agency Mossad was to blame for shark attacks off its coast.

Because they're madder than Mad Ahmed Al-Mad, winner of Arabia's maddest man competition.

When locals discovered the GPS transmitter, they suspected the worst and handed it over to the security forces, said Israel's Ma'ariv newspaper.

Conspiracy theories quickly began circulating in Saudi newspapers and on websites that the bird was involved in espionage. 

Locals? Why am I getting visions of banjos and albinos here? Is this place twinned with Hartlepool?

Israeli officials told Ma'ariv they were "stunned" by the allegations and concerned that the bird could meet a horrible punishment in the notoriously severe Saudi justice system.

Which just goes to show, there's no nutter as nutty as a religious nutter with a persecution complex.

Give me strength.

That being said, the report is from an Israeli newspaper. In case you hadn't noticed, Israel doesn't do too badly in the swivel eyed barking at the moon stakes itself.

The One That Is Face-Palming. . .

I despair, I really do despair. Even with my tenuous grasp of economics I understand that this is utter, utter nonsense.

The working week should be cut to 21 hours to help boost the economy and improve quality of life.

And who came up with this excellent idea?

The New Economics Foundation.

Who?

a left-wing think tank.

Ah. Right-ho.

the reduction in hours would help to ease unemployment and overwork.

No, no it wouldn't. Well, it'd cerainly ease overwork, because no-one would be working. The simple truth of the matter is that unemployment would shoot through the roof.

Why?

Well, one of two things would have to happen.

A: People would expect to be paid what they are paid now. Read as: Rabid Socialists with no grasp of market economics would demand and legislate for businesses shutting the fuck up and paying people exactly what they are paid now, whilst in a single stroke doubling the size of their workforce and all the associated costs in training, HR and equality issues etc, etc. The result? Private business would disappear. Unemployment goes through the roof, the burden on the public purse stretches past tolerance levels, the country goes bankrupt, gangs of very, very angry people start roaming the streets to kill and steal.

B: People will not only halve their hours, but will also halve their incomes. People will have no disposable income, they will not be able to afford food, prescription charges, fuel for their cars. Retail business in this country will fall apart as people simply would not have any money to spend. They will default on their mortgages and fail to make rent payments. Evictions and repossessions would spiral out of control. The result? Unemployment goes through the roof, the burden on the public purse stretches past tolerance levels, the country goes bankrupt, gangs of very, very angry people start roaming the streets to kill and steal.

Heres' the kicker:

The foundation's policy director Andrew Simms added: "A cultural shift will throw up real challenges (no shit, like survival for example - Wolfers), but there could also be massive benefits for our economy (like it would cease to exist - Wolfers), our quality of life (we could go back to hunter gathering - Wolfers) and our planet (we'd all be dead in ten years - Wolfers).

"After all, hands up who wouldn't like a four day weekend?"

I'm sorry? Are you really, really advocating a return to the three day week?

Fuck me backwards over a yak with a pineapple and goose fat, they really are completely, completely mad. This goes beyond normal throwing a nokia, nose-mining loopiness, this is full on destructive, murderous, criminal insanity. If you think you can stomach it, the whole suggestion is detailed here, although as suggestions go it seems to be as inviting to me as being asked if I'd like to put my genitals in a food-blender.