How's this for a news story:
Duran Duran fans have accused the government of favouring AC/DC and other bands whilst only paying "lip service" to New Romanticism. A report commissioned by the Simon LeBon fan club says ministers failed to understand the full range of Duran Duran's work, that the government has marginalised the band and called for a change of attitude.
It's a bloody ridiculous story, isn't it? Yes, you can see where I'm going with this, can't you?
Of course, if you substitue Duran Duran with Christianity, AC/DC with Islam (although I'd prefer it if both were the other way around. 'Cardinal to replace Catholicism with Led Zeppelin' shouts the headline, great! Where do I sign up?) then you have the story in the press today.
Well, why? Why should the government be asking the church, of whatever faith, what they think about policy? What the hell is it to do with them? They don't even listen to the electorate, and to be honest all you Bishops, Imams, Rabbis and anyone else, your views really don't matter. It is like asking the Guildford Am-Dram society their views on renewing Trident. As an organisation they are, or at least should be, a political irrelevance.
Let's face facts guys, taken as an average you've had about two thousand years haven't you? For a long period of time you WERE the governance, the legislature, the 'moral compass', and you have squandered your time. You have spent centuries bickering, killing each other, killing your own followers, indulging in schisms and plots, oppressing, spreading misery and disease, and then, you have the total fucking cheek to whine and bitch because the government don't take heed of your moral bleatings? Why the fuck should they? Your track record isn't great, is it?
We still suffer the Lords Spiritual sitting in the upper chamber, and they are only Protestant, CofE clergy, no Catholics, Buddhists, Muslims, Jews, Baptists, Hindus, Sikhs, Zoroastrians, bloody Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (wiki it, it rules) and yet you moan at a lack of involvement in debate and government?
Piss off, you are not open to debate, you are prescriptive, dictatorial and when push comes to shove will simply state that anyone opposing you will be damned to the eternal fires of hell. Not really a structured argument is it? If I were God, I'd start sending thunderbolts down on to your churches, temples, mosques, synangogues and whatever else now, in response to the evil you have done in my name.
And here's an addendum; The Chief Constable of Notts Police, Steve Green (Steve? Give me strength), has basically demanded a ban on the sale of cheap alcohol. Newsflash, Stevie boy, you police, because WE, as society, want you to. You don't get to make policy either, on detention of terrorists, ID Cards, alcohol, anything, you get to enforce the laws WE want, not the ones YOU want. I appreciate our government makes your job as a copper pretty much impossible, but still. In fact, most of your constabulary probably consider you to have only a fleeting relationship with reality and your 'troops', I bet you call them that, don't you?