Yeah? Yeah? Really? Bloody prove it then.

Two articles in the Wail today, one about half of the Tory MP's wanting to leave the EU and another about, errrm, half of the Tory MP's wanting to leave the EU.

Trooper Thompson nails it in spades over at his place and I find it difficult not to echo the same sentiments.

I am no Tory, however so important do I believe the issue of our continued membership in the EU to be that if at the next election the party made it clear that a vote for the Tories was a vote to get out, or at least have a referendum on the issue, that I would vote for them without hesitation. Even if the rest of the policy book was about putting kittens in microwaves and coating the cliffs of Dover in custard, I'd still vote for them. So much of our sovereignty has been handed over that nothing else matters, if we don't take that power back the issue of debt, cuts, taxation, law and order, smoking, databases, all of it, is just jigging around on the sideline like a 4 year old at a wedding reception disco.

So here's a message to all the Conservative MP's; if the reportage in the Mail is accurate (and I appreciate that it may not be), then grow a fucking pair and force the issue.

We've heard time and time again, especially during the expenses scandal, that MP's enter the job with the sincerely held intention to make a difference. Well now is the time to step up and bloody prove it.

The old doubts will come in. Is it better to be in power than to risk everything by sticking your head above the parapet? The answer is a simple no. Where is your self respect? You have an amazing opportunity to make a difference, take it. You bloody managed it in the face of the party machinery over live animals performing in circuses, you can do it on a really important issue.

Without doubt the LibDems would start cutting up rough about it, but you know what? You have to be true to your beliefs, your membership's beliefs and more importantly, your constituent's beliefs. My experience tells me that the vast majority of people are now thoroughly sick and fed up to the back teeth with the EU.

I'm not making a demand that we withdraw from the EU, but I think we at least deserve the opportunity to have our say. If an in/out referendum goes the way of 'in', then fair enough. What is not fair is that Cameron talks of cast-iron guarantees as a tool to keep the party membership happy, and then totally betrays that. Not good enough. It also means that I will never again believe a word he tells me. Why should you?

This duplicity means that your party is in real, real trouble. I know, for I have seen it with my own eyes. On Tuesday I attended a meeting held by Nigel Farage at Charing Parish Hall. As a recent joinee to UKIP, I was interested as to what I would see and hear. What surprised me was not what Farage did and said, but the people in the hall. It was standing room only, all the doors and windows were propped open as it was such a warm evening, loads of people were fanning themselves to keep cool. Not one person left before the end. The questions these people asked were salient, their responses to the answers telling.

To contextualise this, Charing is a charming little village between Ashford and Canterbury, it is right out of Darling Buds of May. The whole area is as Tory as Tory can be. There was one person in that packed hall that I would be confident in saying was younger than me, the gap between we two and the rest of the crowd was immense. These were retired people, or people well down the road to retirement. At the outset, Farage asked how many in the hall were UKIP members, fewer than a quarter of the hands went up. At the end of the evening, despite the heat, they were queueing in their droves to sign up as members.

These people ARE the Conservative party, they are the old women with elaborate hair dos, twin-set and pearls that you see at conference every year (or used to before the renta-diversity young crowd were used for doughnutting on the stage). When Farage mentioned Call Me Dave's cast iron guarantee the response from the floor was almost tangible. These people are very, very unhappy about the lie and the situation we now find ourselves in.

These are not the sort of people to bang drums and wave trade union banners, they will not storm Fortnum's or smash up the Savoy. These are the generation that were evacuated during the war, these are the people who have remained stoic in the face of Republican terrorism. There's no histrionics or shouting and chanting of slogans. They just stick their chin out with a steely determination and say, 'we'll see about that'. These are the people that the Conservative party have relied on for generations, and if what I saw on Tuesday night is representative, they're leaving the party in droves.

And you know what? These people have bridge clubs, bowls, coffee mornings, charitable events, and they'll all be telling their friends about how they joined UKIP, about how much sense that charming Mr. Farage spoke, and the word will spread.

If the Tory MP's don't snap Dave out of it, then the pro-euro wing of the Conservative party will have won, and a Pyrrhic victory it will be.

The question you need to ask yourself, as a Tory MP, is not 'can I afford to force the issue with Cameron', but 'can I afford NOT to force the issue with Cameron?'

What I saw on Tuesday was an earthquake, I reckon it is going to generate quite the tsunami. It was the first of such meetings that Farage is running in similar venues around the country, he's hit the demographic perfectly and it could spell very bad news for the Tories very quickly.

It's about courage.

An interesting little article over at Direct Democracy today about how the question of an in/out referendum regarding the EU won't go away, how many Tories are turning to UKIP and the phenomenon of cross bench agreement between Labour and Conservative MPs in their support for such a referendum. It's a rum old do, and I do think the debate about the votes for prisoners was the moment a very large penny dropped.

I remember the days when Labour were EUro-sceptic, well in part at least, there was a very real danger that Labour in opposition in '93 could have wrecked the ratification of the Maastricht treaty. Of course they didn't because even then, their top table was completely in hock to the EUro project. I remember being raging at the time as a very naive teenager who was foresquare behind the EU, I've worken up since then. But the world has changed since the early nineties, not least because Labour are starting to lose votes to the BNP. I don't think this is because Labour are propped up by a bunch of horrible racists, Socialists have many ugly facets, but casual racism isn't one of them, it is because so many people are utterly fed up with the EU. Those Labour voters who are fed up with it aren't likely to vote UKIP, because they are at heart Tories. Despite their discomfort about the BNP's agenda, they are the only party offering what they want in a left centric fashion (pay no heed to the hype, there is nothing right wing about the BNP, they are as red as red can be, just as Mussolini was), so they will go there.

For the Tories the argument is simpler, they understand markets and are not burdened by a sense of loyalty - my party right or wrong - as it were. If the party they follow stops offering what they want, they will take their vote elsewhere. Unfortunately for the Tories their top table is also hopelessly, helplessly wedded to le projet. The backbenchers will stamp their feet, and can do it all they like, it will make no difference, the only thing cast iron about Dave and his chums is that he will do everything he can to ensure that the UK remains in the EU. Just like Mubarak in Egypt, Cameron will defy the wishes of the majority to the bitter end, right up until the moment a man with a (metaphorical in i-Dave's case) gun taps him on the shoulder. It is no coincedence that one of Cameron's first gambits was to neuter the 1922 Committee.

Even so, it is easier for the Tories to unseat their leader than it is for Labour. Lest we forget, Labour have never chucked a leader out on his ear, it just doesn't work that way, and the current leader was elected by the internationalist trade unions, not the party membership.

The Labour back benchers could find themselves slapped down in short order.

The Tory backbenchers will be studiously ignored.

The LibDems, well, just look at Nick's history, they talk a brave fight, calling for a full referendum when everyone else was calling for one over Lisbon was one of the more transparent bluffs I've ever seen. They'd run a mile if they thought one was ever on the horizon. They're a blusted flush, anyway. When Farrage talks about UKIP being the proper voice of the opposition right now, I don't think he's too far from the truth.

I've always maintained that Labour sold their heritage down the river when they plumped for Blair and Brown, they abandoned their core constituency because they wanted power. That damage will take years to repair, if it ever is.

The Tories did the same thing when they elected Cameron, they'd rather be in power than have a leader who represented their views. Well, it was your party, your choice.

So, it is all about courage.

Will the MP's have the courage to jeopardise their hands being on the levers of power? Will those who vote for the big two have the courage to vote in a way which means their tribe may not have power?

Do the Labour backbench MPs have the courage to go against their newly imposed leader? Doubt it.

Do the Tory backbench MPs (who at least have two options) have the courage to either defy their leader and try to bring about a leadership challenge, or even more radically try hold him to ransom by threatening to bring the government down by taking the UKIP whip if he doesn't submit to their demands, and do they have the courage to actually do it if he calls their bluff? Doubt that too.

No, the real courage must come from the voters. Do the electorate have the courage to realise that our continued membership of the EU is the biggest issue out there? Make no mistake about it, if you want to be a resident in a territory that is a constituent part of a Federal single European state, then you want to stay in. If you don't then you want to get out. There are, and can be, no half measures here, the stated aim of the EU is clear, if you think it won't end in one bloody great big country stretching from the Bosphorus to the Atlantic, then you're kidding yourself.

Do the electorate have the courage to end their own abusive relationship with their tribal party and vote elsewhere? Is there really a desire to get out of the EU? Do people really care?

Unfortunately I fear not, and this is what the EU, the European Commission and the leaderships of the big three bank on. I'm confident that if a referendum came to pass, that an out vote would win the day, but I don't think the electorate have the gumption to force the issue through the lobby or the ballot box. I think that those who do care can make life uncomfortable for their natural parties, but I don't think they can bring the house down.

So that means it is down to our MPs to do the right thing and give us the chance to have our say, once and for all, whichever way it goes. The prospect of relying on them chills me to the bone.

Is it time to leave yet?

2011 has not got off to an auspicious start. The rumblings of discontent are starting to increase in volume. Following on from my previous post, I've seen a Facebook group calling for and supporting fuel protests in the form of refinery blockades, it already has thousands of members, if only 20% of those who support it get involved, there could be sport.

With regard to the VAT increase, Miliband Minority has demonstrated a startling about face in calling the increase 'wrong tax, at the wrong time'. Funny, the ramping up of taxes never seemed to be a problem when his party were in power. To give him his due, he is actually right, it is the wrong tax and it is coming at precisely the wrong time. I've a plan to deal with it, and it is very simple; I'm not going to buy anything unless I absolutely need it. I've learned the lesson about consumerism, if I don't need it, I don't get it. There's a saving of not only VAT but also of the untaxed wafer thin sliver of cash I do have. If I do need it, my first stop will be ebay where I will hopefully be able to find it second hand in decent condition, or from an individual trader who is not VAT registered. If I can't find it there, then I'll have to grit my teeth, but that is only if I absolutely need it.

Of course, Miliband is once again ignoring the elephant in the room. The coagulation will also ignore it, even though this particularly huge pachyderm is their best defence against the VAT rise.

You see when the monocular snot gobbler decreed that VAT would be cut to stimulate the economy, his mouth was writing cheques his arse couldn't cash. EU rules prevent us from cutting VAT, we were merely deferring payment. When VAT went back up, some sort of parity was restored, but the outstanding amount from the period of the VAT deferral was still to be collected. Now Brown's largesse has come home to roost, we have to rake in that defecit, or the EU will point at us and shout 'unfair!'. Of course, once that defecit has been collected, VAT will continue to be collected at the increased rate, because this government, just like every other one that has come before, simply cannot stop themselves from taking our cash under threat of prison and pissing it up the wall like a drunken sailor in a knocking shop.

What Miliband is suggesting is that we should extend the period where the VAT remains uncollected, so that our children and grand-children can be left to pick up the tab. That's fine though, because it allows Miliband to make a point. Fuck 'em, they're only kids.

It would be the easiest thing in the world for the Coagulation to turn around and say 'Sorry, EU rules.' They won't though, that would be unthinkable.

More troubling news from the EU, this time from the current holders of the rotating presidency, Hungary. They've announced some frankly shocking plans about private pensions which probably has Brown banging his head off the table in his psych-ward blaming everybody else for his not having the idea first:

Hungary is giving its citizens an ultimatum: move your private-pension fund assets to the state or lose your state pension.

Economy Minister Gyorgy Matolcsy announced the policy yesterday, escalating a government drive to bring 3 trillion forint ($14.6 billion) of privately managed pension assets under state control to reduce the budget deficit and public debt. Workers who opt against returning to the state system stand to lose 70 percent of their pension claim.

What this means is that the State takes 100% of your pension fund which you surrender 'voluntarily', that money is used immediately to pay off some of the debts, although the Hungarian government, like our own, will also keep spending, spending, spending. Come the time when your pension would have matured, you'll then find yourself on a state pension, which will probably be a pittance, which will have to be paid for by your children and grand-children, who will have the cash taken from them under threat of prison, because the money that was taken 20, 30, 40 years ago is long gone. If you don't pay, then they take 70% off you and then refuse to give that pittance of a State pension which you've been paying for anyway.

Sounds like extortion to me.

Just as Miliband suggests is a good idea, this is spending to ensure that individual politicians remain in clover today whilst condemning the following generations to penury.

Even more disturbingly, there was a little rumbling in the press (not too much though, it would mean pointing out that Elephant again, it must make watching the TV bloody impossible in this room), about Hungary introducing very draconian media regulation and laws on the day they took over the presidency.

The European Union has been thrown into turmoil after Hungary approved a Communist-style media gag just weeks before it assumes the rotating presidency of the 27-nation bloc.

It has left the EU in the unusual position of threatening to blackball the country that is set to inherit the presidency on January 1 for six months.

On Tuesday, Hungary's parliament - led by Prime Minister Viktor Orban - approved a contentious new law that will expand the state's power to monitor and penalize private media.

This is in direct contradiction of the EU's own press freedom laws. The fact that we've heard nothing about the EU nixing this policy in Hungary or pulling Hungary's presidency of the EU can mean only one thing; the EU's laws are important only when they feel like it, and this control and restriction of the press is something the EU supports, or at least will not condemn.

Be very afraid people, the mask is slipping, but still the Elephant remains unindicated by the people who do their very very best to act in our best interests and look after us.

My arse.

Is it time to leave this ridiculous organisation yet, or are we still to believe that we'd be left isolated (the Commonwealth doesn't exist), bankrupt (like Norway and Liechtenstein aren't) and unable to trade (where we export bugger all anyway)?

Confusion or delusion?

I'm a little confused about the election of the work experience boy to the big chair in the Labour party. I guess ageism trumps racism and sexism, eh, Diane?

Anyhow, if Ed is as 'Red' as we're led to believe, and if he lurches to the left, as some have predicted, I can only stand and applaud the wisdom of the trade union members who decided to cast their votes for him. If he's the heir apparent to Michael Foot then Labour really will be unelectable for years to come. Remember Labour have never unseated a leader, it just doesn't happen.

Clegg seems to have divorced himself from the membership of his party, that lot who are neither liberal, nor democratic. I'll hand it to the LimpDim membership though, they do have principles, one of the advantages of never having a decent shout at getting power. Unfortunately for Nick, he seems to have thrown one of the biggest principles (that being an abhorrance of the idea of getting into bed with the Tories) out of the window just so he can have a go at pressing a couple of the buttons that Cameron can't be fagged to press himself.

All we need now is for Cameron to be secretly filmed by the News of the World putting kittens into microwaves and the job will be done.

The Lib Dems will haemorrhage support, they're done before they even start. This coagulation government (as Leg Iron so beautifully puts it) will surely result in the death of the Lib Dems. This is probably not a bad thing, as the Liberals can go back to being liberal (assuming there are some properly liberal people amongst them) while the Social Democrats can go back to. . . well, where?



If Mr. Ed really does want to usher in a new era of swivel eyed socialism, those Social Democrats won't be welcome there. SDP, anyone?


I've always felt quite sorry for Labour members. I thought the way the New Labour agenda was smuggled in without the members' consent was a pretty shitty trick. The euphoria of government after so long out must now be dissipating, and the awful, awful truth dawning. But perhaps I was wrong? Surely if Miliband Minority was the best candidate to reflect what I always thought were the core opinions of the Labour party membership, then the membership would have turned out in their droves for him? They didn't.


Indeed Andy Burnham was probably an even more traditional (?) old (?) new old (?) Labour leadership candidate and he hardly got out of the blocks.


So we now have this odd situation where the person who I thought was the closest to the traditional membership was shunned by the membership and elected by the unions. A fact that I'm sure Woodley, Simpson, Serwotka, Crow, et al will remind him of at every available opportunity. If I heard Boulton on Sky News correctly, turnout amongst the trade union portion of the vote was around 10%. So hardly a ringing endorsement of any of the candidates on offer then.


So it leaves with me four questions:


1. What do the Labour party members want?
2. What are the Labour party for?
3. How does a party abdicate responsibility for their leadership elections to a load of people that don't even care enough about the Labour party to join?
4. Why would anyone vote Labour?


I've been saying for a couple of years that it wasn't the election just gone that was the important one, it'll be the next one. Let's hope that the Lib Dems tear themselves apart, that the Tories disgrace themselves and the coalition falls apart and that Labour go back to their old ways, with the unions cracking the whip. If we can get a snap election in, ooooh, 12 to 18 months, all bets will be off, especially if any AV referendum carries a 'yes' vote.

The One That Is Watching It Fall Apart. . .

So we're what? Two months into the coalition? Looks like we'd better reach for the polyfilla 'cause the cracks are looking quite bad already.

Firstly the Tory media seems to have turned on the new coalition new politics big society government, with the Mail, that normally most reserved and austere publication flying into an uncharacteristic fit of rage. Concerned looks over at Conservative Home.

Then of course we've David Davis' little attack in the FT this morning (I've taken it from the Metro, as the FT is as dull as ditchwater, I'm also unsure if it's part of the whole charging for reading on the intermong thing).

The Tory MP was dining with a group of around a dozen non-politicians at a wine bar in Southwark on Thursday and was unaware that several journalists from the Financial Times were eating at a nearby table.

Of course, of course. He was totally oblivious to the fact that there could have been some reporters from the FT sat in a pub which is as close as next door to their offices as makes no difference.

Despite his back bench status Davis is a 'big beast'. He could perhaps be considered unlucky to lose the leadership election to Cameron. His stand on the 4500 days detention (or however long it was) was a vainglorious shot across the bows of his party leader and there is little doubt that he represents the majority constituency of the Tory party. That majority are now looking at the Blair lite leader they have, his relationship with Clegg, and the fact they're spending a lot of time telling everyone what great mates they are. It does look a little like Blair and Brown, doesn't it?

The difference between Labour and the Tories is that the Tories can get rid of their leader in the time it takes to prepare a bowl of cornflakes.

We've also seen a lot of Douglas Carswell since the election, and I don't think that is any accident either. Davis has been setting his peices up waiting for the right time. And where Carswell is, you can be sure Hannan isn't far behind. I'd be surprised if there wasn't some escape route from Brussels to Westminster set up.

The more Libertarian wing of the Conservative party must be looking with unease at this 'Big Society' plan Cameron has. The way he talks about 'allowing' us to take control. He talks about the importance of voluntary service. The first I take exception to, we don't need his permission. The mark of the 20th century politician, a complete incomprehension of the concept that he is there to do our bidding. We are not there to do his. The second I agree with wholeheartedly. But then we have the mark of the 21st century politician, 'it's voluntary, but if you don't do it voluntarily, we'll make sure you're obliged to do it.' Nice.

There seems to be concern that Cameron is pandering to the 50 or so LimpDim MPs rather than the 200 Tory MPs. Well, what did you expect? Cameron wants Cameron to be in power, not the Tories, they are just a convenient vehicle for this. He's shown his true colours with the immasculation of the 1922 committee and the blocking of the election of Bill Cash to the chair of the European Scrutiny Committee.

No, there's very little change here.

But there is an important one. Unlike the Labour party membership, the Tories can remove their leader with great ease, and traditionally will do so with great relish. Not for them the dirty inter-factional infighting we'll see in the run-up to the Labour leadership election. It will be clean and surgical.

Let's hope this coalition breaks up. Let's hope that the LimpDims are hugely damaged. Let's hope that Cameron is left twisting in the wind. Let's hope that Labour have the foresight to elect the ridiculous Abbott or the twisted and poisonous Balls to the leadership, because then we'll have three completely unelectable parties.

I said a couple of years ago that the election after next will be the important one. Well that election will now be the next one. Looks like my predicition could be along the right lines.

The One That Is Finding It Hard. . .

It's odd really. Since the election, and certainly since Dave and Nick did the deed, I've found it hard to get posts up here, I don't know how many I've started and then binned.

For the last thirteen years my daily mantra seems to have been 'oh foR FUCK'S SAKE!' as idiotic policy follows cretinous initiative. I despaired as every day something emerged to further clip our wings, waste our money or engineer our society. But since that bunch of bastards got thrown out, things have been, well, kinda good.

Granted I will not support everything they come up with, a good deal of what they do will make me angry and see me wheel out my mantra again. But it is early days yet, and the work thus far has been, in the main, welcome.

Anger is a good motivator.

There are problems, like a city overtaking by a liberating army, the guerillas will take up position on the hills outside the walls and the old guard in the offices will do their best to resist and frustrate. The civil service is hugely politicised now, believe me, I know, I work there.

So, given the story that Michael Gove has decided to do away with the General Teaching Council because of its abject failure to deliver on its mission, I am not in the least bit surprised to see that the response is thus:

"We are seeking legal advice on our position and will be seeking urgent clarification from ministers and Department for Education officials on the implications of today's announcement for the GTCE's work over the next period and for its staff and members."

So what's that? A government department threatening to sue the government? This is what happens when you give a faceless department effective say over the life and death of people without accountability. The people that have say over their life and death give them a taste of their own medicine, and all of a sudden it is the threat of court. And who's money is going to pay for any legal advice? Yes. Ours.

Game over, sorry.

It's not all sweetness and light. This new administration will be duped or dragged along by some of the old guard, as we've seen in the recent chatter about booze pricing. The ConDems would do well to give Liam Donaldson's acolytes and the fake publicly funded charidees a wide berth. Hopefully they'll learn.

What has been done in the past can be undone now, we've seen proof of that. So perhaps, just perhaps, any decisions over booze made in haste today can be countermanded tomorrow.

All things being considered, I'm happy that we now have a government that says this in light of yesterday's events in Cumbria:

David Cameron has said there should not be a "knee-jerk reaction" to changing the laws on gun ownership after 12 people were shot dead in Cumbria.

The prime minister said everything must be done to make sure it "cannot happen again", but existing controls were among the "toughest" in the world.

When the shadow (and former) Home Secretary is saying this:

After the Home Office revealed that the killer had held a shotgun certificate for 15 years, as well as a rifle licence gained in 2007, former Home Secretary Alan Johnson said a tightening of checks needed to be considered.

Mr Johnson said there might be a case for incorporating mental health checks into the system following claims that it is too easy for rural residents to gain access to firearms.

Knee jerk and quickie legislation, always a recipe for bad law, and one of Labour's hallmarks. Something must be done, this is something, so it must be done. To be seen to do nothing is the worst crime. With Labour it isn't about effectiveness or fairness, but the perception of the party.

The sad thing is for Labour, that even now we (and they) have been rescued from the downward spiral of desperate ideas and legislation, there is still a significant part of the party which cannot help themselves. It's like watching a cat trying to jump through a closed patio window every day. In its heart of hearts it knows what the outcome will be, but it does it because it has no idea what else to do.

Sadly again for Labour, the worst practitioner of this is currently leading the party.

And that is why I'm finding it hard to get motivated at the moment. No longer do we have a government which comes out with utter bottywater like this:

Acting Labour leader Harriet Harman says the party rules should change so half the shadow cabinet are women.

No, you see, Harriet, what we really need is for the cabinet to be 100% staffed by absolutely the best people for the jobs they have, regardless of anything as irrelevant as gender, sexuality, race or preferred method of potato preperation.

Let's hope it will be a long, long time before we see them back.

The One That Is Preparing The Litmus Papers. . .

Right, a week into the gig (almost) and the first test of Cameron's honesty is almost upon us, and the first test of how well those old Major era Europe cracks have healed over.

Eurosceptic MPs will renew calls for a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty when it comes up for debate again in parliament in the coming weeks.

Give us the referendum, you bastards.

A new amendment to the treaty - expected to be rubberstamped by EU leaders in June - will require ratification at Westminster.

Well, that bunch of tossers would expect it to be rubberstamped, wouldn't they? If they drew up a treaty dissolving all nations in the EU and a reformation in one giant super-state, the EU leaders would expect all the parliaments to meekly file into the room and to sign themselves out of existence. That is because, and let's be frank here, they are unspeakable power-hungry cunts who make our domestic politicans look like the very model of altruism.

The Foreign Office says it is only a technical adjustment.

Well, Wolfers says the FCO can go fuck itself with a rusty spike.

But some Tories are set to use the process to call for a vote, despite David Cameron already ruling one out.

Well that demonstrates why I'm slightly more sympathetic towards the Tories than I am Labour, although that's like saying I'm slightly more sympathetic towards serial killers than I am serial nonces, at least some of the Tories are prepared to stick their heads above the parapets.

But Cameron has already ruled a refendum out. Well, there's a surprise. New politics? My hairy, worm ridden arse. He's in now, we'd do well to shut the fuck up and do as we're told.

Don't think you can buy me off with the trinkets of ID cards etc, you gave me a promise, a cast iron guarantee, you utter mongtard. You'd better fucking stick to it. Not because I'll come after you, but because the Tory membership have very short tempers and can get rid of a leader before they've finished their cornflakes of a morning, and they really, really want this vote. You'd better stick to it, not because Boris is probably itching for the first halfway safe Tory seat to come up for by-election, but because you've got a hundred new MPs sat in the House, all of whom are aware of what it said in your manifesto about EU treaties and are probably full of zeal and an ideal of what it means to be an MP.

Clock's ticking, David.

The One That Doesn't Hate It. . .

It's a rum old thing, this hung parliament malarkey, and amongst my circle its causing quite a stir.

First there are my Lib Dem friends who obviously believe in their ideals more than they want to be in power. A few of them are very angry that Clegg and co have decided that having a chance to pull the levers and press the buttons is worth a bit of compromise and have resigned their membership. Interestingly, those I have spoken to would have done the same had the 'rainbow alliance' taken shape as well.

A few of my Labour supporting friends are purple with rage. I'm having trouble finding out what it is precisely that has angered them so. They're certainly angry because they lost (and yes, I know nobody won, but that doesn't mean Labour didn't lose), but that anger seems to be divided between Brown, the electorate and the Tories and Lib Dems (the best suggestion I've heard for a collective name is Dem Tories).

Brown because of his performance both as Prime Minister and during the campaign. There seems to be a feeling that he let the side down, but, crucially, that he should still somehow be Prime Minister. Weird.

They're angry at the electorate for voting for the other parties, and this is one of the more telling effects of New Labour's 13 years. There is this disbelief that people would dare to oppose the bright new dawn which has spectacularly failed to break for the last decade. Note, that isn't that people would disagree with it, but that they would have the temerity to actually go out and vote against it. How dare they? Stifling dissent and discourse may work within the party, but you can't control the public, try as you might.

The Lib Dems are now seemingly the class traitors. Setting up camp with the Tories? I can almost hear the phrase 'after everything we did for them' leaving their lips. The high pitched whine of 'it's not fair' will not be far behind. Labour still had stuff to do, visions to wossname and social 'justice' to . . . whatever it is you do with social 'justice', reject it if the election is anything to go by. It's almost as if the Lib Dems have been viewed as the Labour second XI and their cosying up to the Tories is obviously a monumental betrayal.

Most opprobrium has been kept for the Tories. Thatcher. Poll Tax. Fox Hunting. Poshness. Private Schools. The Miners. All that guff. It doesn't matter, in politics it is ancient history, it's akin to refusing to go to Rouen because of the Norman conquest, it's an irrelevance now. What Labour supporters fail to understand is that non-members or supporters don't share their blind, violent hatred of the Tories. From where the average joe is sitting, the Tories are marginally better than Labour because they've not spent the last 13 years fucking about with stuff. If you say 'Conservatives' to Average Joe, he isn't going to spit on the ground, or cross himself, or stand in a circle of salt. His bottom lip isn't going to start trembling and he's not going to wet himself in panic and run off to mummy. Unfortunately for Labour, their whole campaign was based on telling people that the Tories are really nasty. Well, we know that, but you failed to persuade us that you are less nasty. The fact of the matter is that Labour lost the support of the public. It was not taken by the Conservatives, or Rupert Murdoch or climate change deniers or anything else. You simply trod on our toes too many times.

So how do I feel about this coalition?

Well, it's a stitch-up, but that's the reality of the system we have. I don't like it, I'd like it to change, but we are where we are.

What have we lost? Very little as far as I can make out. Mandleson no longer has any power. That is a very good thing. One of the most shambolic and unhinged leaders in this country's history is himself history, another tick in the good column. The most illiberal, paranoid, controlling and devious government we've had has been sent packing. Another good tick.

I'm struggling to think of things to put in the bad column under the heading 'things lost'.

What have we gained?

Not a great deal. I'm hopeful that perhaps the Lib Dems will act as a brake on the Tories more outlandish policies, and vice-versa. A stable government is fine, a strong government is always bad news for people that aren't that government's mates. So a tick in the good column, we've a stable yet weakened government. That'll do for now.

It would also appear that we've gained a Great Repeal Act. ID cards and the odious database that went with it and HIPS seem to be the first things to go. Hopefully the power of the pseudo-plods and inspectors will be next, along with the retention of the DNA of the innocent. Another plus in the good column.

I'll be more than happy to see these nasty, grubby measures gone, but don't expect me to be high fiving Dem Tories, this is not a high virtue, this is doing stuff that I would expect any party (except the BNP and Labour) to remove from the statute as a matter of urgency. The fact they seem to want to do this is pleasing, but I'm not about to give a good deal of credit for something that you should be doing as a matter of course. It would be like giving an OBE to someone because they gave their kids some dinner.

So, early indications are that I can live with this government, I don't hate it. Yet. There's plenty of time and policies to come that can change that though.

The One That Says They Still Don't Get It. . .

If you listen to the mainstream media and the politicians you'd get the impression that the electorate had made a bit of a boo-boo with the way they voted on Thursday and have now presented the politicians with something of a problem. The underlying theme of this whole deal brokering guff is that the politicians have to undo the mess we've made.

This is, of course, bollocks. The mantra of 'strong and stable government' is being trotted out with depressingly predictable regularity. What seems clear to me is that the electorate know that they don't want Labour, the Conservatives or the Lib Dems in power. That, along with a desire to see Brown out, if not Cameron in, are the only messages which are beyond doubt from this election.

So what's going to happen? They're going to do their best to get themselves what they want, power, regardless of the wishes of the electorate. If they can't get it at the ballot box, they'll get it behind closed doors in some meeting room at the Cabinet Office. So much for this new transparent politics they've all been banging on about.

I'm uneasy with the whole thing. Firstly a question to which the answer would seem to be obvious. Why do we need a strong government? Belgium did without for about two years. Strong government sounds like a laudable thing, it's taken in the media as a given that strong government is what is needed. But what does that mean? From where I'm sitting that means either Cameron or Brown, with a little help from their friends, being able to railroad through legislation, regardless of if we want it or not. Strong equals unaccountable in my book.

I think Clegg would do well to stick to his guns on PR, a referendum at least, from whoever he decides to jump into bed with. The Tories have been making noises about the fact that their policy on PR is well known and that people still voted for them, so we obviously don't want it.

I don't know if PR is what the electorate want, I think any referendum would be close as the public in general would be apathetic at best to turning out, whilst Tory supporters would turn out in huge numbers to vote against. But that isn't the point, the point is that we deserve to be asked. The General Election is never about a single issue and to pretend otherwise when it suits you is dishonest.

I've written in the past about the danger to Clegg and the Lib Dems in entering into an understanding/pact/coalition with any party. They'll be the ones who will be damaged when it inevitably all goes wrong. Could it be that Clegg is exploring the possibility of entering into a deal with the others on each side so that he can then turn round in a few days and say 'sorry folks, we tried, but these guys aren't interested in listening to us'? Or is it a case, that I was warned of by a former Lib Dem member a year or so ago, that the Lib Dems would agree to pretty much anything if they got the chance to press the buttons for a few days?

I give qualified support to PR, I think it is certainly more equitable than first past the post, although I do think the link between a constituency and MP that FPTP allows is very important.

Does the end of PR justify the means? I'm not sure, but when you see how OH outlines it, I find it difficult to argue against it, even if it wouldn't taste very nice at the time.

One thing is for sure, having meetings behind closed doors, to build a government based on horse trading where we have no voice is no democracy at all.

The group who demonstrated in support of PR outside the Lib Dem meeting on Saturday have a petition running. Should you find yourself in agreement with your aims, you can sign up to it here.

The One That Thinks It Is Decisive. . .

I went to bed at about 0530 this morning, and I write this at 1030. That five hour nap really didn't make a huge difference, it was a mess when I went to sleep, it is still a mess now that I've woken up.

I'm currently watching Harridan Harperson trying to justify why Brown has the right to form a government, whilst Ed Vaizey is doing a sterling job of whining 'it's not fair, it's our turn'. David Steel is resigned to the fact that the Lib Dems reached saturation point in the 2005 election.

There's arguments over the system of electing people, arguments over the method in which the Prime Minister gets that title, arguments over how a Prime Minister would, could and should form a government.

The fault is not in the system. First Past The Post is always held up as a panacea for electing strong, stable governments, PR is nasty, goes the warning, it ends up with the Nazis in Germany and about 27,000 governments in post-war Italy. The problem is, we are being told, that on this occasion FTP has not delivered a strong, stable government.

This is obviously the fault of the system. At least, it is today. Tomorrow it will be my fault and your fault for not voting properly, we'll be told off for not doing it as we should have done.

Well, mea fucking culpa.

The reason we have the result we have is not because of us cheeky scampish voters playing silly buggers, it is not because the system is corrupt and unrepresentative (which it is), it is because the 3 main political parties have failed. Their policies are hated, their leaders untrusted, their campaigning spiteful and hateful.

This result is a landslide victory for 'fuck you'.

How long will it take for the leaders to realise the problem isn't the electorate or the system, but them and the way they go about doing their job? They'd better figure it out quick, before their membership figure it out on their behalf.

Cameron, Clegg and Brown all stand this morning as discredited figures, unfit to govern their own parties, let alone the nation.

Britain's political parties have failed. They no longer stand for anything, they are not different from each other. This result will be replicated time and time again unless they undergo major internal revolutions.

If I were to put my tin-foil hat on for a moment, I would probably make a point about a tri-party coalition which would render all future elections meaningless and probably declared a waste of time and public money . . .

The One That Has A Video For You. . .

The One That Thinks He's Playing The Long Game. . .

So perhaps Brown's 'I agree with Nick' mantra hasn't had quite the effect that he thought it would.

It would seem that in the (likely) event of a hung parliament that Clegg has no intention of doing business with Gordon. Assuming that is, that Clegg is telling the truth, never a given when you consider the big three.

Clegg has good reason to distance himself from Brown and Labour. He may be flying high in the polls at the moment, but you can be sure that support will melt away pretty smartish if the media continue to show graphics of the number of Tory seats expected on May 7th against those of Labour when combined with the Lib Dems. Few floating voters are going to vote Lib Dem if they think that vote is going to default to Labour.

So what is a poor Lib Dem boy to do? What is obvious is that the Lib Dems really want power, a prospect that I find slightly more scary than another five years of Labour, to be honest. Many Lib Dems would be bouncing around with anticipation at the idea of one of their's being Home Sec in a coalition, but it's not the same as actually having power. It's like being sat in the front of the car with your dad when he lets you change gear. You're sort of contributing, but your dad still has control of the throttle, brake, clutch and the steering. It's exciting for a little while, but you really want to drive.

In a coalition, the chances of Vince getting the keys to number 11 are slim to none. Blinky Balls bagsied that role a long time ago. Lib Dem Foreign Sec? Unlikely. Home Sec? That's a poisoned chalice, you can bet that Nick would be thrown that particular bone, and it would eventually cause him to choke.

Brown would make grand promises of involvement and electoral reform and this and that, but none of it would come to pass and the Lib Dems would be left looking rather silly and marginalised. When the coalition came apart at the seams (and it would) you can bet that the blame would be dumped squarely in front of the Lib Dem's door. Then there would be the inevitable scrapping between Labour's traditionalists and their Social Democrats, and the scrapping between the Lib Dem's Social Democrats and the traditional Liberals, oh Jeez that would be messy.

If Clegg went in to a coalition with Labour he'd be damaged beyond repair and the Lib Dems wouldn't be much better, endangering their chances of ever picking up a comparitive share of the percentage of the vote they seem to this time, again. The Lib Dems have now only really started to recover from the Jeremy Thorpe affair and a stint as a junior partner in a coalition could set them back another thirty years. Is it really worth five minutes in the sun for that?

This still remains a good election to lose, and I believe a hung parliament really is the best option for the country, and I say this honestly with the best interests of all three main parties in mind. It's best for Labour (if they finish 2nd) because they can then have the civil war that party desperately needs to decide what they are, and where they want to go. It's best for the Conservatives (if they finish 2nd) as they can then dispense with Cameron who simply cannot connect with the public and, if I read the situation right, is at best dischordant with the views of the party membership. It's best for the Lib Dems (if they stay out of any coalition) as they can then use this as a platform for the next election and not be damaged by a collapsing coalition, although their civil war is moving up the agenda as well.

The problem with both Labour and the Lib Dems is that they both have a large section of Social Democrats who are at odds with the rest of their respective parties. This could lead to some very interesting rows, bust-ups, power struggles and general arseing about in the next few years, and I wouldn't be surprised to see a party, like ooooooh, perhaps the SDP emerging from the wreckage of Labour and Lib Dem civil wars. There's also a high probability of a night of the long knives in the Tory party between the top table and the membership, I fully expect Boris to be at the helm before long.

I just get the impression that everyone is on their best behaviour, but struggling to keep it together, like an alcoholic parent at a school play. Win, lose or draw, the fall out from this election could prove to be spectacular, I'm looking forward to fireworks after the election more than I'm looking forward to polling day itself.

The One That Is Mightily Impressed. . .

You've got to hand it to Cameron, he certainly doesn't hang about and seems to have a new record. He's lost the job of PM before he's even got the job, if today's polls are to be believed. That must be the shortest government in history.

I'm delighted. I've no desire to see a Labour government returned again, I certainly won't be voting for them in an Obo style, but the idea of a Tory administration doesn't have me wanting to march up and down the street singing 'Happy Days Are Here Again' either.

And either is the important word here. Perhaps people are waking up to the fact that you don't have to have either Labour or Conservative governments. There are alternatives. I don't know how much people know about those alternatives. Perhaps the opinion polls are reflecting the fact that people know who they will not be voting for, not who they will be voting for.

It is interesting to see that throughout all this to-ing and fro-ing that the Limp Dims have still made no headway.

What does this say about the three main parties? People don't want Labour to win, because they are so arse-clenchingly awful, but nor do they want to see a blue or yellow tie sat in the big chair. I'd fancy Idi Amin or Robert Mugabe to give Brown a run for his money at this coming election and yet, amazingly, Call Me Dave and Ned Clarke (or whatever his name is) cannot get the job done.

This is akin to not being able to beat a 4 year old at arm-wrestling. It is pathetic.

No doubt the campaigners are sat around focusing on presentation, spin, media training, focus groups, posters and leafelets, but that's a waste of money. The reason the polls are flat-lining are because there is no significant difference between them. The menu is offering spam and eggs or spam and chips or spam and beans. But we don't like spam, we're going to start ordering off menu.

Let's see if Labour can make a minority government work. That'll be a right giggle. It's not this one coming up that counts, it's the election after. The penny is really starting to drop about the big three.

I think the polls may be slightly misleading on this occasion. Polling day will see fear about daring to vote for the little boys, it's like you're doing something naughty, so conditioned are we to think that to vote other than LibLabCon is a criminal waste, but after a term (and there's no way in the world that a minority government of any colour will last a full term) of disastrous, hubristic, unthinking and uncaring minority rule, that fear will disappear.

The rage isn't coming at the polls this election, it's just slightly miffedness, the real anger will come next when it becomes widely apparent that the big three couldn't give a flying fuck about this country, about me or about you. People are realising that all they want is power, and for you to know your place.

The One That Is Tired. . .

I'm beyond anger now. The flames of rage have burned themselves out, all that remains are the smouldering ashes.

I'm tired of the lies, I'm tired of the double standards, I'm tired of the burying of evidence, I'm tired of the whole bloody lot.

It used to be the lies that annoyed me most. I used to be incredulous that we would be expected to swallow the rubbish that was spooned our way. It wasn't just the lie, it was the fact that we were held in such low esteem that we were honestly expected to believe them. And if we didn't believe the lies, we were expected to believe the lies that they told to cover up the lies. And now they are such stupid lies, such inconsequential little lies.

I'm talking about David Wright's Twitter-bollocks. I can only work on the balance of probability. Is it probable that a Labour whip who has used the term in the past would refer to the Tories as being 'scum-sucking'? Yes, it is eminently probable. Let's face it, the Tories are jumping up and down about it, but I'm sure we've all been called worse.

Jesus, they're so bloody precious, aren't they? It doesn't make it right or acceptable, but it isn't exactly invading Poland, is it?

The whole thing would have disappeared if he'd said 'Yeah, I done it. I'm naughty, but they're naughtier, so boo sucks.'

But no, he then tries to tell us that he has the been the victim of a terrible crime, someone has altered his twitter post.

But ho, ho, ho. What's this? Guido points out that once a tweet is out there, it is unalterable. A stupid, pathetic little lie, and we're supposed to trust these people on the big stuff when they lie about stupid little non-stories like this?

Look, you foetid little arse-boil, insult the Tories all you like, but don't insult my fucking intelligence.

And just like that the rage is gone, like a magnesium ribbon passed through the flame of a bunsen.

It is replaced with the determination that I will see these people out of a job for a long, long time if it is the last thing I do. They are pathetic. They are beneath my contempt. They shall pay.

But it isn't the just the lies. It is the shameless feathering of nests, stealing, bending rules, unequal application of rules and naked self interest.

Once again, I can only work on the balance of probability. Is it probable, given her mania about all women shortlists, that Harridan Harperson was unable to attend a meeting to force her agenda upon one of the safest Labour seats in the country? No, not really. Perhaps it is just about credible, she is after all the deputy PM and so really is probably very busy. But then she's been able to implement this in other seats, so her job obviously doesn't trump her personal 'equality' agenda all the time, does it?

What destroys that credibility is when you realise that her husband is now in the frame for that seat.

How fucking stupid do you think we are? That's another one logged, Harriet, another entry in the Labour debit column. But hell, it's your party, not mine. But how many will look at this shameless example of nepotism and think to themselves on the big day, 'You know what? No, I don't think I will vote Labour this time'?

Neither of these are enough to lose an election, but it is a drip-drip effect, and each little lie, each little episode of troughing, each little case of self-interest turns more and more people off. Each one will cost you ten, a hundred, a thousand votes. Add them all together and you get tens of thousands of votes, hundreds of thousands, perhaps even millions.

You think we won't notice, you think that because it isn't splashed across the newspapers it won't really matter. But it does matter and we do notice, and you will pay.

Then you know what? The Tories will do just the same, and the cycle will repeat, as it has done for generations, until one time, the electorate say 'no more'. It doesn't have to be violent, or angry, or desperate, it just takes a quiet, steely determination that we have had quite enough of this now.

It won't happen this time, but it might just happen the time after.

The One That Is Playing You A Song. . .

My foot was tapping along to this last night, and I found myself marvelling at the clairvoyance of The Kinks (to my mind, one of the most underrated bands in history). How did they know Call Me Dave was coming?

A man lives at the corner of the street,
And his neighbors think he's helpful and he's sweet,
'Cause he never swears and he always shakes you by the hand,
But no one knows he really is a plastic man.

He's got plastic heart, plastic feet and toes,
(Yeah, he's plastic man)
He's got plastic knees and a perfect plastic nose.
(Yeah, he's plastic man)
He's got plastic lips that hide his plastic teeth and gums,
And plastic legs that reach up to his plastic bum.
(Plastic bum)

Plastic man got no brain,
Plastic man don't feel no pain,
Plastic people look the same,
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kick his shin or tread on his face,
Pull his nose all over the place,
He can't disfigure, or disgrace,
Plastic man (plastic man).

He's got plastic flowers growing up the walls,
He eats plastic food with a plastic knife and fork,
He likes plastic cups and saucers 'cause they never break,
And he likes to lick his gravy off a plastic plate.

Plastic man got no brain,
Plastic man don't feel no pain,
Plastic people look the same,
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kick his shin or tread on his face,
Pull his nose all over the place,
He can't disfigure, or disgrace,
Plastic man (plastic man).

He's got a plastic wife who wears a plastic mac,
(Yeah, he's plastic man)
And his children wanna be plastic like their dad,
(Yeah, he's plastic man)
He's got a phony smile that makes you think he understands,
But no one ever gets the truth from plastic man (plastic man)

Plastic man (plastic man).

The One That Wants Him To Hang On Just One Damn Minute. . .

Shadow Chancellor George Osborne has set out eight 'Benchmarks for Britain' by which he says the success of a Conservative government's economic plans should be judged.

They haven't got in yet and I hate them already. Burbling on about environmnetally sustainable economic recovery. Oh God, give me strength.

Look, George, I'll judge your government record, if it happens, by my own criteria, got it?

You don't get to decide how we judge you, I don't accept your criteria, I don't accept your right to set those criteria, I don't want to hear you banging on about these criteria for the next 5 years as if it is the only benchmark by which you can be judged.

Here's Snowolf's eight criteria for judging a Conservative government.

1- I'll make the first one easy, shall I? Call in the civil service heads of department and find out what they actually know about the areas they are responsible for. If they 'errrrm', 'arrrrrr', 'get back to you on that' or 'don't know' then get rid of them. Then get rid of the layer below them, and probably the next 2 layers below that. I know for a fact that higher/middle senior civil service management keep their very high management in the dark, lest they find out the awful truth. The senior managers haven't figured this out yet. Get shot of the lot of them.

2- Destroy the quango's. Lay waste to them. There's a huge saving right there, you needn't touch the police, schools or hospitals and still save shitloads.

3- But do touch the police, schools or hospitals. Waste is endemic. Make them account for every single penny if they value their continued employment. Make them feel that every penny is coming out of their own personal pocket. Forbid them from cutting front line services. In fact, make them expand front line services. If they fail, no pay-off, no pension, just the sack. Make the police arrest proper bad people, no more community this, and outreach that. The police are for catching criminals. Make schools teach pupils, no more social work or community engineering, forget these endless tests, most teachers aren't idiots and know which pupils are outstanding, which pupils aren't so hot and which pupils need a kick up the arse to perform. Let headteachers discipline badly behaved kids, the rights of the kids that want to learn trump those of kids who don't. Let doctors make people better, no smoking or drinking questioning, if they're ill, then cure it. Give Matron control over blocks of four to six wards, make her responsible for the cleaning and bed/theatre management. Matron rocks and knows much better than the Health Secretary, she certainly knows better than the doctors. Give her the staff and authority.

4- Once you've cut the spending, cut the taxes. Bring back the lower band for lower earners. Give people coming off benefits one year tax free to establish themselves. Get them out of that trap. Reward them for getting off their arses, don't reward them for wandering into the labyrinth.

5- Reduce the duty on petrol. It's a fucking joke. You're crippling workers and businesses. Outside the cities, public transport is not up to the job of people moving around. It can get better, but in the short term people need help. This amounts to a tax on going to work. It sucks.

6- Give us the referendum on the Lisbon treaty like you promised. At least. Better still, give us the big one. If the majority of people want to come out of Europe, then accept it. You will be there to represent our wishes, not to impose yours on us. Remember that.

7- If our military really have to play silly buggers over the world. Then give them the kit to do the job. Give them proper healthcare and proper housing. Exempt them from tax. Give them the support to shoot back at people who shoot at them until they are all dead. Give them the power to sink pirates' boats, if the pirates are on those boats at the time, all the better. If they are aboard our boats, then maroon them. Act like a pirate, die like a pirate. Engage in piracy or attack our troops, then it's all good.

8- Get your noses out of our lives. Stop measuring, watching, tracking, investigating, following, recording, monitoring and nannying us. It pisses us off and we've done nothing wrong.

If these 8 benchmarks are not met, I'll consider you a failure.

Please feel free to set your own, by the way. It's your vote, so it's your criteria, never forget that. You set out the rules by which you judge your government, not them.

The One That Can Only Applaud. . .

You've got to hand it to them, the Labour party doesn't know when it's beaten. Normally that is a phrase which is trotted out to describe a plucky underdog, unbowed in the face of a superior opponent and overwhelming odds, what it really means is that the underdog refuses to lay down and die, that they will not accept the inevitable until the fat lady is finishing her final aria. I'm using it to illustrate the fact that the Labour party simply do not understand that the game is over.

There's no soccer metaphor to explain it, but there is an American football one, they are 21-13 down, it is the 4th quarter, they've no time outs left, the opposition have possession of the ball on the Labour 1 yard line, there's 15 seconds left on the game clock and 20 left on the play clock. It is over.

The second string quarterback is in the game and has thrown numerous interceptions, has fumbled the ball a couple of times and has been sacked by the onrushing defensive line throughout the fourth quarter. The home support are booing him and the opposing support are loving every minute of his discomfort. Since taking over from the starting quarterback, the running backs aren't talking to him, the wide receivers don't understand his increasingly bizarre play calling and the defense just fold under the pressure of the opposition's predicatable and plodding running game. This is a career ending game.

He doesn't see it that way, despite being two scores down with 15 seconds left, he still believes the match is there to be won, and even if he doesn't win this match, he'll be back to win the next one.

Gordon Brown is making secret plans to stay on as Labour leader after the general election even if his party is defeated.

The prime minister has told close colleagues that he will refuse to quit unless the Conservatives win a significant majority.

Well, surely any majority which gives the Tories power is significant? He really is barking.

“Gordon has said he believes his enemies in the party are too divided among themselves to force him out,” said a senior Labour source.

“He thinks that if the May election is indecisive and if there is any prospect of a second election, Labour should not be plunged immediately into a messy leadership contest.”

They'll be dancing with joy at Tory party HQ.

But he's not the only one, Miliband Minority has an agenda to push, and he'll push it, no matter what.

The climate secretary, Ed Miliband, last night warned of the danger of a public backlash against the science of global warming in the face of continuing claims that experts have manipulated data.

In an exclusive interview with the Observer, Miliband spoke out for the first time about last month's revelations that climate scientists had withheld and covered up information and the apology made by the influential UN climate body, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), which admitted it had exaggerated claims about the melting of Himalayan glaciers.

The perceived failure of global talks on combating climate change in Copenhagen last month has also been blamed for undermining public support. But in the government's first high-level recognition of the growing pressure on public opinion, Miliband declared a "battle" against the "siren voices" who denied global warming was real or caused by humans, or that there was a need to cut carbon emissions to tackle it.

It has become a religion, you must be faithful under this new theocracy and pay your tithes. The unbelievers will be punished, those who seek evidence will be visited by the inquisition for their lack of faith.

And it isn't as if the evidence hasn't received another body blow that further undermines its credibility.

The United Nations' expert panel on climate change based claims about ice disappearing from the world's mountain tops on a student's dissertation and an article in a mountaineering magazine.

The revelation will cause fresh embarrassment for the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), which had to issue a humiliating apology earlier this month over inaccurate statements about global warming.

The IPCC's remit is to provide an authoritative assessment of scientific evidence on climate change

In its most recent report, it stated that observed reductions in mountain ice in the Andes, Alps and Africa was being caused by global warming, citing two papers as the source of the information.

However, it can be revealed that one of the sources quoted was a feature article published in a popular magazine for climbers which was based on anecdotal evidence from mountaineers about the changes they were witnessing on the mountainsides around them.

The other was a dissertation written by a geography student, studying for the equivalent of a master's degree, at the University of Berne in Switzerland that quoted interviews with mountain guides in the Alps.

Still they refuse to re-examine their position, they are helplessly plotted on a course to collide with the cliffs, believing that if they shout loud enough, the cliffs will move aside.

They look more and more like the Black Knight from Monty Python's Holy Grail as each day passes. If they don't change, they'll be doomed to complete eradication. If the Tories don't learn from Labour's mistakes (which they won't) and believe that getting elected is the start of the game, not the end, then they'll be doomed too.

Good, I like a bit of doom.

The One That Wants To Time Travel . . .

What a country has been built over the last thirteen years. When I think back to those first few months of the Labour administration in 1997, I think of the hope that coursed through the veins of the British public, the great and good (and Oasis) queuing up to shake the hand of Blair.

Good God, how did he do it? How did he get them to file into his house like star-struck teenage autograph hunters? Say what you like about Blair, but man, his PR was good in those days.

In 1997 it was going to be different this time. The old remnants of a divided, corrupt and arrogant Conservative party had been swept away, replaced by a shining new Labour party, shorn of the old hateful, envious, nationalising mania of the past; waiting to carry us in to this glorious new Jerusalem to the sounds of masses cheering, screaming guitars and hip dance music.

Truth be told, the Tories really haven’t changed over this last decade, they dress in a more modern fashion, they’ve learned how to present and have dulled that edge which many found so objectionable, but the PR transformation is nowhere near that of Labour in the mid 90’s.

We now look at a Labour government which is just as divided as the Tories ever were under Major, and as far as my memory serves me are more corrupt and light years ahead in the arrogance stakes. That those Tories had to be kicked out in 1997 is without doubt. That a good many people called warnings from the sidelines is well remembered. Did anyone, even New Labour’s most venomous critics, expect what we have now?

The vista of British society and community is as devastated, as unrecognisable as the Haitian capital. If you had shown a picture of today’s Britain to everyone’s thirteen years younger selves in 1997, what would their response have been?

How would they have reacted to see legions losing their lives to infections in hospital? They would have heard of nothing like it since the charnel houses of the Peninsular campaign.

How would they have responded to being told that they would have no choice but to be electronically stripped searched before heading off on their holidays?

How would they have accepted the notion of a government that declared a legally questionable war, especially when the threat to our security was almost nil?

What would they have said upon hearing about real suspicion falling on the government following the death of one of its prime experts in suspicious circumstances, especially when they then decided to bury the records for 70 years, after having him thoroughly smeared and discredited?

How would they have felt upon learning that they would face a good chance of arrest, or at least questioning, for taking pictures of famous landmarks, and being suspected of terrorism by a politicised police force?

What would they have thought about the pandering to the professionally offended, or at least those who quake in their boots at the prospect, to the extent that jobs cannot be advertised with a request for reliable and hard working people?

How would they come to terms with a government that illegally imprisons people in their own houses, freezing their assets and allowing them £10 a week to live, because it is suspected they may be involved in terrorism, whilst the convicted are released early and an increasing underclass can claim the monthly average wage in handouts and are penalised even if they do want to work?

How could they have understood that in a democracy, you would have had to apply for permission from the authorities to hold a demonstration outside parliament?

How would they have stared with incompetence when they learned that they had been lied to over getting a say in the signing away of our sovereignty?

How could they deal with the fact that the lowest earners had seen their tax burden sky-rocket whilst the country attracted more debt than had ever been conceivable?

The list could go on, when you look over this government’s achievements you see nothing but failure, deceit, vanity, hubris and the almost complete humiliation of those who elected them.

It will be different this time, there will be no cheering crowds, no film and pop stars waiting patiently in line to be seen pressing the flesh, no glorious new Jerusalem; there will be the knowledge that there will be no change, and a flinty look in the eye of the electorate waiting for the Tories to show themselves to be as feckless, reckless and thoughtless as Labour, and for an opportunity to remove them from power as soon as possible.

Let’s see how the ‘others’ column does over the next five years. Democracy is not dead in Britain, it is just being born.

Update:

A very interesting item over at Captain Ranty's place, not a million miles removed from my ramblings.

The One That Is Explaining. . .

I've been having a little chat with a friend of mine. He hates the Tories, really hates them. Mention Thatcher in his presence and he goes all blurry round the edges as he quivers with rage.

The problem he has is that he hates the Labour party as it is. I feel sorry for him, he is a decent chap with strong convictions in a political ideology that he thought could be delivered. He and many others like him must be devastated at how their dreams and aspirations have been sold down the river by the people that claimed to speak for and represent them.

This government has hurt all of us. But for those who had a strong belief in the traditional Labour ways it must be very hard to bear. The fact I disagree with that belief system is neither here nor there, to see people being betrayed and used like that in such a cynical fashion is not a nice thing to see.

Anyhow, my friend has taken some solace from the fact that future don't look so bright for the Tories either, and seemingly has found relief in the Telegraph, of all places, and he pointed out this blog entry from Gerald Warner.

What do I think will happen? I'll tell you the same I told him. Rather than it being bad news, it could be very good, it'll just take a few years to sort out. Let's hope we can do it before the EU sweeps our national parliament away.

It's a truism that oppositions don't win elections, governments lose them and there is no way in hell Labour will win. The problem is people don't vote for anything, they vote against the incumbents.

It was obvious in '97 that Blair was a snake-oil salesman, and the Tories were unelectable. Now we have the situation where Labour are unelectable and the Tories aren't even promising snake-oil. For the last 18 months at least Call me Dave has been counselled that all he has to do is keep quiet, I think now he realises he's left it too late to counteract that bad advice. The interesting thing is how with Labour seeing their suppport haemorrhage away, and the Tories seeing their support drain down without even getting anywhere near the levels they would have hoped, the Lib Dems have made no ground whatsoever and indeed has seen a small reduction in their share of the vote.

North of the border, the SNP are a good bet in my book to pretty much wipe Labour off the map, and that is despite them displaying qualities which make them look even more controlling, nannying and dictatorial than Labour. The Scots will never return Tory or Lib Dem MPs in any numbers, so the SNP will win by default. It speaks volumes about the weakness of the established parties in Scotland that the SNP have been able to hold a minority non-coalition government together for so long.

In Wales, Plaid Cymru have very quietly got on with the job and will do similar damage to Brown.

It is obvious that Labour are scared shitless about the BNP in England, and with good cause. It's not because the BNP are evil and racist and all that jazz, it is because Griffin has very skilfully moved them into the ground occupied by Labour when John Smith was leader. Heseltine was right when he said Labour are the BNP without the racism (plus a slavish devotion to the EU), Brown's gulags for slags initiative was straight out of the BNP playbook and is a policy they've promoted for some time. When Harman and her ilk bang on about the dangers of the BNP, the only real danger is posed to the number of Labour MPs in the house. They rend their hair and ask why this is happening and what can be done, like the family in the Cherry Orchard, and don't realise that it is they who have driven their natural constituency to the BNP, it is their policies, and abandonment of the working class, their turning the 'working' class into pets beholden to them whilst the lower middle class are left to foot the bill. I fully expect to see a number of BNP MPs returned in the spring, and it is no-one's fault but Labour's.

All of this should add up to good times for the Tories, but it won't. So obsessed are they with not wanting to upset anyone, not wanting to be branded the nasty party, that they've ended up upsetting almost as many people as Labour - i.e. pretty much everyone. The Tories are a party of wallpaper covering some very deep cracks. Europe being the biggest one, that division has never gone away. Truth be told I think there's an enormous gulf between the parliamentary tory party and the grass roots membership on the subject, and I don't think Cameron's U-turn on the Lisbon Treaty has pleased anyone, nor his lack of guts in calling for the big referendum. Tory voters will turn out in droves for UKIP, a party who are hardly in good condition at the moment anyway.

I'm not sure that Cameron will last even one complete term as PM and we could see both parties descend into civil war very soon. I certainly wouldn't expect to see any incoming Tory government last more than one election.

Still the Lib Dems will not make up ground, mainly because their policies are fantastical nonsence that no-one understands, and the policies that people do understand are completely alien to them.

My prediction? A Tory majority of single figures at best if not a hung parliament, Labour limping in a very battered and bloody second having suffered huge losses in Scotland and Wales and some stinging defeats to the BNP in England and a fag paper between them and the Lib Dems. SNP and PC in Scotland and Wales with a few Lib Dem hangers on and seats for the BNP and UKIP in England.

A hung parliament would be bad, bad news for the Lib Dems. They've made it perfectly clear they don't want to be in coalition, but so desperate are they for a go on the levers of power they'd probably take it in exchange for a couple of the big jobs like Chancellor and Justice and would quietly forget PR which would infuriate their rank and file.

I don't think we're seeing the death of democracy, we're seeing its re-birth. The old buggins rule is on the way out - one more time is all it's got, I reckon. No-one will vote for the government (of whichever colour) because they're shit and no-one will vote for the other lot because we all remember how shit they were last time round. Once people realise that their vote can, does and will make a difference, and that they can vote for something they believe in, rather than against a sitting government they hate, then the sport will really begin.

Of course, the best thing about hung or coalition parliaments is that they can't do much. We've had too much doing over the last twenty years and need some stopping at least and un-doing at best.

I can't wait.

The One That Is Waiting To See. . .

So the Czechs have been given an exemption from the EU Charter of Fundamental Rights (link in Czech), obviously those rights aren't as fundamentally important as getting Klaus to sign on the dotted line then.

So that leaves the Czech Constitutional Court as the remaining bulwark between the status quo and complete ratification of the Lisbon Treaty. It would seem that the chances of this treaty being live at the time of a British general election are somewhere between slim and none then.

All too often we Libertarians are accused of nihilism, so I'm going to buck that stereotype. I'm not about descend to the very bottom of the slough of despair, I'm not about to write Cameron off.

Just yet.

At conference he said something about not letting it rest there if he got the keys to No. 10 with the Lisbon Treaty on the statute. I don't know what that means, I hope (and this hope is waaaay bigger than any expectation I have) that out of the blue Cameron announces that we're going to have the BIG one. But I'm not holding my breath.

As with much to do with the Conservatives, I don't actually know what it is Cameron wants to do. I get the impression he's in the middle of a fine balancing act, the old EUrophile and EUrophobe divisions are still in the party, they haven't gone away. I have a feeling that Dave is leaning towards the anti camp, his detatching the party from the old centre-right grouping is especially interesting but with Ken Clarke such an important part of his pre and mid election campaign staff, he's got to be very canny.

If he gets in with a healthy majority, then that will give him a lot more room to spread his wings and show us what he's got. I just hope that when he does spread his wings, it was worth the wait.

Anyhow, as sceptical as I may be, I'm not about to condemn a man who has not done anything wrong yet. It would be nice to see him do something right, though.

Perhaps he'll decide to hold a retrospective referendum. An unusual step, but the will of the electorate must take precedence over any other tool of government and if we don't want it, we don't want it. The word of the people is sovereign.

I can't wait for the attack from the left and Brussels if we are given the chance and if that chance results in a 'here's your refund, now fuck off' result. They will then show themselves to be the contemptible and anti-democratic slime they are.