The One That Can Only Applaud. . .

You've got to hand it to them, the Labour party doesn't know when it's beaten. Normally that is a phrase which is trotted out to describe a plucky underdog, unbowed in the face of a superior opponent and overwhelming odds, what it really means is that the underdog refuses to lay down and die, that they will not accept the inevitable until the fat lady is finishing her final aria. I'm using it to illustrate the fact that the Labour party simply do not understand that the game is over.

There's no soccer metaphor to explain it, but there is an American football one, they are 21-13 down, it is the 4th quarter, they've no time outs left, the opposition have possession of the ball on the Labour 1 yard line, there's 15 seconds left on the game clock and 20 left on the play clock. It is over.

The second string quarterback is in the game and has thrown numerous interceptions, has fumbled the ball a couple of times and has been sacked by the onrushing defensive line throughout the fourth quarter. The home support are booing him and the opposing support are loving every minute of his discomfort. Since taking over from the starting quarterback, the running backs aren't talking to him, the wide receivers don't understand his increasingly bizarre play calling and the defense just fold under the pressure of the opposition's predicatable and plodding running game. This is a career ending game.

He doesn't see it that way, despite being two scores down with 15 seconds left, he still believes the match is there to be won, and even if he doesn't win this match, he'll be back to win the next one.

Gordon Brown is making secret plans to stay on as Labour leader after the general election even if his party is defeated.

The prime minister has told close colleagues that he will refuse to quit unless the Conservatives win a significant majority.

Well, surely any majority which gives the Tories power is significant? He really is barking.

“Gordon has said he believes his enemies in the party are too divided among themselves to force him out,” said a senior Labour source.

“He thinks that if the May election is indecisive and if there is any prospect of a second election, Labour should not be plunged immediately into a messy leadership contest.”

They'll be dancing with joy at Tory party HQ.

But he's not the only one, Miliband Minority has an agenda to push, and he'll push it, no matter what.

The climate secretary, Ed Miliband, last night warned of the danger of a public backlash against the science of global warming in the face of continuing claims that experts have manipulated data.

In an exclusive interview with the Observer, Miliband spoke out for the first time about last month's revelations that climate scientists had withheld and covered up information and the apology made by the influential UN climate body, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), which admitted it had exaggerated claims about the melting of Himalayan glaciers.

The perceived failure of global talks on combating climate change in Copenhagen last month has also been blamed for undermining public support. But in the government's first high-level recognition of the growing pressure on public opinion, Miliband declared a "battle" against the "siren voices" who denied global warming was real or caused by humans, or that there was a need to cut carbon emissions to tackle it.

It has become a religion, you must be faithful under this new theocracy and pay your tithes. The unbelievers will be punished, those who seek evidence will be visited by the inquisition for their lack of faith.

And it isn't as if the evidence hasn't received another body blow that further undermines its credibility.

The United Nations' expert panel on climate change based claims about ice disappearing from the world's mountain tops on a student's dissertation and an article in a mountaineering magazine.

The revelation will cause fresh embarrassment for the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), which had to issue a humiliating apology earlier this month over inaccurate statements about global warming.

The IPCC's remit is to provide an authoritative assessment of scientific evidence on climate change

In its most recent report, it stated that observed reductions in mountain ice in the Andes, Alps and Africa was being caused by global warming, citing two papers as the source of the information.

However, it can be revealed that one of the sources quoted was a feature article published in a popular magazine for climbers which was based on anecdotal evidence from mountaineers about the changes they were witnessing on the mountainsides around them.

The other was a dissertation written by a geography student, studying for the equivalent of a master's degree, at the University of Berne in Switzerland that quoted interviews with mountain guides in the Alps.

Still they refuse to re-examine their position, they are helplessly plotted on a course to collide with the cliffs, believing that if they shout loud enough, the cliffs will move aside.

They look more and more like the Black Knight from Monty Python's Holy Grail as each day passes. If they don't change, they'll be doomed to complete eradication. If the Tories don't learn from Labour's mistakes (which they won't) and believe that getting elected is the start of the game, not the end, then they'll be doomed too.

Good, I like a bit of doom.