Predictions seem to be in fashion at the moment. Can’t think why. Anyhow, here’s a list of ten predictions, some serious, some hopeful (I’ll leave you to decide which are which) for the coming year:
1 – Labour to be effectively wiped off the map across the country in the election, by PC in Wales, SNP in Scotland and pretty much anyone in England. Only a few pockets remain in the north of England and inner cities. A very slim Tory majority, and yet bizarrely, given the collapse of Labour, no significant increase for the Lib Dems.
2 – BNP to take one or two seats.
3 – Huge numbers of sitting MPs from all parties lose their seats in light of on-going court cases as peers and former MPs who are attempting to drag as many of their former colleagues down into the shit as they can. This, coupled with the number of MPs who decided not to contest the election leads to one of the youngest and most inexperienced parliaments in history. A bigger class of lobby fodder leads to even more disconnect from the public.
4 – The most cynical, hurtful and dirty campaign ever seen erupts between the vultures for Gordon’s old job of party leader. Even more damage as the mainmast is ripped out of a ship already holed below the waterline.
5 – Cameron’s repeated inaction over Lisbon/EU question causes Parliamentary rift in the party with a number of MPs and large number of members jumping to UKIP.
6 – Dave’s lifespan as PM to be no longer than 12 months following an election. Boris tries to get nomination for first safe Tory seat that comes up for by-election, perhaps even leaning on a sympathetic or vulnerable dinosaur to take the Chiltern Hundreds.
7 – Lack of progress in party leads to split of Liberal faction from Lib Dems, remaining faction attract a number of Social Democrat members from Labour party as ‘Old Labour’ retakes ground in the party in a move that is heralded as ‘SDP II – This time it’s laughable.’
8 – Extended and bitter protest against fuel prices as (deferred) duty increases compound high prices at refinery gates. First view of life in the Climate Change legislation era.
9 – Gordon Brown found dead or admitted to psychiatric hospital following complete breakdown as he struggles to come to terms with his ejection from office and very slim majority over SNP in his seat.
10 – England get to the quarter finals of the World Cup only to go out on penalties, having led for 75 minutes of the match. England get beaten 4-0 in the Ashes series in Australia (oh, hang on, that’s going into 2011. . .)