Tuesday, 14 September 2010

More of this please.

The best way of learning is through one's mistakes.

So when Saeed Khan, the man who, as far as I can make out, runs the only remaining branch of the Post Office in Kent not situated in a bastard WHSmith, was robbed in his shop, he considered the chain of events and wasn't about to make the mistake of being caught unprepared again.

So. . .

Saeed Khan, 62, was alone in his shop in Byron Road when a man armed with a knife entered and demanded money. 

Mr Khan said he had kept a hammer near the counter to protect himself after his shop was targeted last month.

He said: "I hit him on his arm, but then he tried to come closer so I raised the hammer again and that's when he ran off.

Fair play to Mr Khan. Mr Khan sounds like just the sort of chap we need more of in this country.

However. . .

Mr Khan, who has run the post office for 27 years, said he believed the same man was involved on both occasions.

So it would appear our robber has now learned a valuable lesson; don't try and turn over Saeed Khan's Post Office, because he'll hit you with a hammer, and that bloody hurts.

The outcome? Well, this may be a little shocking.

You think I'm going to tell you he's been nicked for twatting this cretin with a hammer, don't you? Well, he hasn't been. I doubt this is due to an outbreak of common sense at Gillingham CID, it is probably down to the fact that the robber has not come forward to make a complaint.

No, the outcome is actually quite predictable.

Det Insp Ann Lisseman said: "(Mr Khan) was very brave but I wouldn't advise that people make use of weapons nearby or try and physically challenge offenders." 

Now, if we had country where the Police (and I attach no blame to the rank and file here) actually arrived when asked and had a better than average chance of catching the little scrote, where protestations about being hit with a hammer whilst engaging in the act of robbing a Post Office being a flagrant breach of one's human rights would be dismissed with suitable alacrity, and where the judiciary had the latitude and disposition to lock these arseholes up in a proper prison for a term longer than the 50% handed down, then this would probably be decent advice.

My advice would be the opposite. Keep a hammer near, and if someone tries to turn your gaff over, go at him with said hammer like a kid with ADHD at a fairground whack-a-mole stall. Once someone tries to harm you and/or yours or to take you and yours stuff, all bets are off. You get what you deserve.

Mr. Khan, I salute you.

As an aside, and to highlight the wonderful stupidity of some of the criminals within our midst, a couple with whom Mrs. Wolfers and I are friendly with had cause to have a late supper at one of my city's numerous Indian restaurants recently. They were surprised when the old bill arrived during an unremarkable dinner service and thoroughly enjoyed the sideshow as two men sat a table nearby were arrested following the inspection of CCTV footage shot within the restaurant earlier that evening.

It transpired that the two gentlemen in question had entered the restaurant earlier that evening and had swiped the tips jar sat on the counter. No doubt having exchanged the contents of the jar for some drinks in one of the city's fine hostelries, they felt a little peckish and decided to go for a curry.

In the same place they'd turned over earlier, where they were instantly recognised by the staff.


1 comment:

Thickey said...

I guess the service at the Indian was quite slow, in my experience if you are not speeding the police don't want to know.

I work for an online company where we sell goods, some of these goods we have in stock and can be sent to customers in a 24-48 hour window and some goods are made to order and can take anything up to 6 weeks to be produced and delivered to customers.

We have had a few dodgy orders in the past where a stolen card is used to order something a few weeks after the order has been completed we get a letter from the bank saying something like "The order you took at some point in time with card number 4556233455432334 was a fraud order.. so we have taken the money back, thanks the bank". This is not helpful as we are not allowed to keep card numbers on file so it takes a good five minutes of guesswork to identify the order. Nine times out of ten it was an order for a Mr Oacawalla and he has just given a mobile number and no land line.

Anyway, getting to the point. After a while you get a feeling when an order is a fraudulent one, they come in late at night, it's an order for instock items, a non british surname, only a mobile number used etc. A few weeks ago one of these came into us, it could not scream "I am a fraudulent order" any louder. At about five minutes past nine the next morning (the order was placed at 23:45) I got a call from an African sounding person wanting to know what time his order was going to be delivered that morning. I informed the caller that we probably were not going to be able to deliver his order until he gives us HIS credit card rather than someone called Billy Bob from Florida and then the caller decided to hang up.

So I was then armed with the information that someone had committed fraud we had their phone number and an address where someone was waiting for a delivery of our goods and probably other fraudulent orders they had placed with other companies. I found the number for the police in the postcode area and gave it a call.

I think it was a bit of a shock to the person who answered the phone, was he expecting his mother to call? Who knows, but I suspect that they were not expecting someone to call the police and report a crime. I explained to the officer the situation and that someone had tried to defraud us of about £500.. but it's all good we have the address! I can't remember the exact conversation but the officer said "thanks for the information we will look into it and get back to you". My suspicions that nothing in fact was going to happen when I asked the officer is perhaps he would like to at least take down the address where the goods were to be delivered would he like my phone number and name as well? I have not been to detective school but I would hope that fundamental details like names and addresses would have been taught even before the first health and safety meeting.

I was quite tempted to make a delivery of a hammer in the sam style as Mr Khan had used but I then suspect the police would be more interested in talking to me.