I’m finding it hard to get a handle on the Sunday political posturing this week. There are two explanations for this. Either, I am too dim and would be better off watching the Sunday omnibus edition of Hollyoaks, or the reason I’m getting confused is that the three main parties have no clue about what it is they actually want, beyond the keys to Number 10.
Where to start?
OK, I’ll start with the LimpDems. My old mate Mac the Knife, who in a previous life had some dealings with the party, is of the opinion that so desperate for power are they that they would sodomise each other in a high-street shop window if they thought it would give them access to the levers of power. Cleggy, obviously keen to be seen as a man of substance on the eve of his party’s conference, has come out with all guns blazing.
Firstly announcing a policy that includes the following cuts:
Cutting the number of government departments to 14 (saving £314.2m per
Halving the number of departmental spin doctors (£7.44m)
merging 90 quangos and capping all senior salaries at the Prime Minister’s wage
Cutting the number of ministers to 73 and freezing their salaries
Abolishing taxpayer-funded salaries for the leader of the Opposition
and party whips (£0.96m)
Great, go Cleggy! All you need to do now is drop your slavish devotion to the EU, HRA, warmist religious inclination and about two dozen other issues so that you really ARE liberal and democratic and perhaps we can do business.
Ah, you didn’t actually say those cuts would be passed on to us though, did you? I see, so as far as you’re concerned, my money is still actually yours. But then in a separate article from a similar source he states that he will:
‘fight the next general election with a pledge to cut income tax bills by £700 for people on low and middle incomes.’Some headway then, although there is still this policy of spite that you have more than me, so I’m going to get my friends together and we’re going to take it. The maths is so simple, rich people earn more money. Rich people get hit with high tax. Rich people then either pay an accountant to hide their money in a ridiculously complicated tax system or take it abroad. Charge everyone a sensible and smaller amount of tax, everyone will pay it. You get more money from rich people. 10% of £1m is more than 50% of £100,000. People have more money to spend, so they spend it. This creates jobs, which means you have more people paying the tax.
Anyhow, Clegg is also being tough to those nasty Tories. He’s called Cameroid a ‘con-man’. He
‘accused the Tory leader of saying anything to win the next general election,
saying: "He's put the con back into the Conservatives."
Hmmm, saying anything? What like giving people £700 a year in tax cuts? Wiping out billions of pounds of government spending? Things like that?
For some reason, Cameroid thinks that his Tories and the LimpDems share a lot of common ground.
Mr Cameron urged the Lib Dems to join the Tories in a new "national movement"
claiming there was "barely a cigarette paper" between them on many issues.
Bloody hell! Really? Go and ask your party members about that. Ask them especially about Europe and tighter financial regulation. And you mentioned cigarettes and didn't denounce them as Satan's pencils, you'll probably pay for that, as well.
In an article for The Observer, Mr Cameron said the two parties shared the same views in areas like civil liberties (squash ‘em), education (keep ‘em dim) and climate change (scare ‘em to death whilst emptying their wallets).Yes, not too much difference there. But why the overture? Does Call me Dave think that the Tories might need some friends? Does he think it will be that close?
Either way, Cleggy isn’t about to act like some school-prom slut, he’s keeping his legs firmly shut. He’s not committing to either side, he obviously wants to inspect the love tackle before jumping into the sack.
But why would he want to join up with a Labour party who only underline that after 12 years in power, they haven’t managed to accomplish anything that one would consider close to their traditional goals. Cue Alan Milburn and Pat McFadden (who?).
The report says those who come from middle and working class families are still at a disadvantage when they enter the jobs market, and that access to professions like law and medicine is becoming increasingly socially exclusive.
Ah, and why is that, then?
The panel found more than half of top professional jobs are still taken by candidates who were independently schooled, even though they account for just 7% of all school children.
It’s the rich! Those bastards, spending their money on making their lives better, that’s why it all has to be taken from them! Or is it because whilst generations of inbreeding has produced offspring who are as thick as bottled shit and have faces which are twelve eighths teeth, they get a proper education rather than the socially engineered politicised rubbish spewed out in the publicly funded education system to those with access to a decent gene pool?
Kids in schools where they are actually taught useful things, actually learn useful things. They probably can’t decorate a Ramadan cushion, or bake a Yom Kippur cake, but then Corpus Christi probably don’t want that in an entrance exam, they want answers to questions that show the prospective student sort of, y’know, knows useful stuff.
You’ve had twelve bloody years, an entire school career. I wouldn’t say the time has been wasted though, as they’ve certainly got richer. Oh look! Here comes Baroness Scotland again!
Now, the beleaguered lawyer is facing claims she had wrongly been paid £170,000 in Parliamentary allowances.
There’s a bloody surprise. The worst of it is, the bastards are claiming this cash and then not even paying their bar bills.
I don’t ask for much in life, but next May, I’d like to see about 400 seats overturned in Parliament and some real people put in.
The message to those who are pissed off with the established liggers: Don’t bloody vote for them!
Lend your vote to the minority party or the Indy. You’ll be amazed how less craven they are, and how things will be no worse than they are now.