Monday, 13 October 2008

The One That Wonders If They've Looked Behind The Fridge. . .

If you lose something, it's nearly always behind the fridge, or down the back of the sofa.


ID Cards anyone?

Dear Proles,

Rest assured that your personal data will be perfectly safe, in secure contracted storage provided for and by the government by reputable companies with an unequalled track record in the area of data storage.

Everyone's DNA, financial, social security, criminal and medical data will be stored on a number of CD's which will be kept at a high security unit to which access is restricted to the most essential users. These users are highly trained professionals who will safeguard this most personal of information, right up until they want to see which specialist German porn sites you visited in 2007 and then leave the CD on top of the fridge in the kitchen area, on a first class seat on the 0815 from Sevenoaks to Charing Cross, or inadvertently give away with the Mail on Sunday.

Then you'll be fucked.

However, rest assured that lessons will be learned and pauses will be taken for reflection before we predictably hand out another fucking huge contract for these incompetent bastards to overspend, go over deadline and generally make an arse up of things.

Love,

A Senior Civil Servant.

Yes folks, EDS have provided the latest entry in the log marked 'We'd manage to lose an Elephant in a modern two bed terrace.'

Armed Forces Minister Bob Ainsworth told MPs the information, which went missing at an EDS site in Hampshire, was "unlikely" to have been encrypted.

Oh good.

HOW MANY MORE TIMES?

It really does beggar belief. This is the situation that the word 'incredible' was invented for, as it really does lack any degree of credibility that this situation could be repeated ad infinitum.

Lessons learned? Must be on the new A-Level syllabus then.

F-, see teacher.

Just as an aside, I have a large collection of CD's, they are kept unencrypted, in their cases, in the cupboard at the top of my stairs. I'll have to do a quick audit, but you'd be surprised at the number of CD's I've spectacularly failed to lose over the years.

1 comment:

leg-iron said...

you'd be surprised at the number of CD's I've spectacularly failed to lose over the years.

They'll never put you in charge of Government security,in that case.

You'd bring down their unbeaten record of winning Data Sieve of the Year.