The One That Wonders What You Expected. . .

Sorry folks, but it was all so predicatable. Of course Jacqui Smith did wrong. Of course an investigation would return that verdict. Of course she would be made to show contrition, although how you can show what you do not have is a mystery to me, it's akin to shoving the wierd kid into the stinging nettles at school and being made to say sorry, even when it is obvious that you aren't. It's what nice people do, and we must appear nice, even if we're not.

Of course she wouldn't get punished. It's an inside job.

Of course those with relatively small amounts of moody expenses would be told to pay them back.

Of course they, in the main, know that this will make it all OK. It would happen to you if you 'mis-claimed' benefits. If you paid it back, you'd be fine.




Wouldn't you?

Nothing will change. Oh, the rosettes worn by the people walking into the offices of state will change, but there will be no change.

That's not their fault, it is our fault. We are, as a nation, stupid enough to vote for them time and again, expecting change and then scratching our heads when none comes.

Perhaps the penny will drop, but I doubt it.

I am a Libertarian Party member, and believe that we should effect change via the electoral system. However I also understand that I am in a minority, both in my party membership and in my desire to do things by the book.

Look out for the EDL, look out for the enviromentalists, look out for the BNP, look out for the disapproving groups hurling abuse at returning soldiers.

Every single group has no confidence in those elected to represent them, nor in the system that gives them access to the levers of power. Increasingly desperate stunts will take place. Protests will increase and become increasingly more forceful. Increasingly desperate people will turn to violence. Hatred and resentment at anyone representing authority will grow.

Who is to blame? Well, to borrow a phrase from good old Gordon; we're all in this together. The politicans have abused and taken advantage of us, like an abusive partner. Like a weak, abused partner, incapable of breaking the cycle, we keep letting them back in.

We have no-one to blame but ourselves, and we will reinforce the cycle by returning the same people again.

When will we learn?

Perhaps we already have, perhaps these groups are like the abused partners, smacked in the mouth once too often. Divorce court? Pah! The iron or the frying pan are in easy reach, and they'll resolve the situation much quicker than some avaricious divorce solicitor.

I wouldn't want to win this coming election for all the tea in China.

The One That Loves Vaclav Klaus. . .

If I were a homosexualist I'd be sending him flowers and chocolates. As I'm not one, I won't, but I'm secure enough in my sexuality as a straight man to admitting to having the tiniest crush on him.

The Eurosceptic Czech President, Vaclav Klaus, says he wants his country to have an exemption from a key EU charter before he will sign the Lisbon Treaty.

Excellent, where's the long grass, Vaclav? Give it a bloody punt old mate.

The demand threatens a further delay over the treaty, correspondents say.

I think that's the general idea, good old Vaclav seems determined to see if Cameroid is true to his word, and given the response to Boris by the conference this week, he'd better be, or there'll be hell to pay.

I'm now looking forward to:

Klaus tells EU: 'Dog ate our copy of treaty, can you send us a new one?'

and

Klaus accidentally slams writing hand in car door, unable to sign his name for next three months.

Keep 'em coming Vaclav, you're doing a grand job.

The One That Doubts Even Our Policitans Would Try This Stunt. . .

Christiane Chocat, a French politician, and her son have been arrested and charged with trying to smuggle illegal migrants into Britain.

Mrs Chocat, a 51-year-old municipal councillor from Seine et Marne south of Paris, is in custody in Portsmouth, Hants.

She and her son Benjamin Chocat, 20, are accused of bringing 16 Vietnamese migrants into the city in the back of a hired van.

What?

What the bloody buggering hell? I mean our lot have pulled some bloody tricks in their time, but smuggling a load of Vietnamese in a bloody van really does push the boundaries of 'technical breaches' of the law. It's the sort of the thing you'd expect to see on the Daily Mash.

The case will prove an embarrassment to the French authorities

No shit? D'you think?

The One That Was Entertained. . .

A great clip of Boris sticking it to Paxo.

There's something very endearing about his manner, which probably means it's all a devious act and we should run for the hills. Never mind.

The One That Says You Should Be Careful Who You Pick Fights With. . .

Old Holborn has posted a very entertaining video of two idiots in Swansea making a pain in the arse of themselves and then coming across someone who very efficiently cleaned their clocks, but it isn't just skinny shirtless (or in the case of the other one, a lard arsed 9XL T-shirt clad) pissheads that can make this mistake.

A group of Somali pirates has been captured after attacking a French navy ship by mistake, apparently thinking it was a harmless cargo vessel.

Ooops, that wasn't a terrific plan, was it?

(. . .)the pirates attacked in skiffs late at night some 500km (310 miles) off the Somali coast.

But the command and supply ship, the Somme, repelled the attack and chased the pirates, capturing five of them.

Now if this were a British ship, the Pirates would have been treated with kid gloves, not the fault of our matelots, it's the ridiculous touchy feely attitude we have towards everything.

Admiral Prazuck told French TV station La Chaine Info the pirates seemed to be surprised that the navy ship fought back.

"Once they realised they were facing a ship that was responding and was heading towards them, they stopped shooting and attempted to flee," he said.

I bet they bloody did. It's all smiles and laughter as you approach the unarmed cargo ship, isn't it? Not so much fun when you get some back. Cowards.

"The Somme gave chase and intercepted one of the pirates' boats. All the weapons had apparently been tossed into the sea and the suspected pirates are now being held on board the Somme."

I've seen the French Police National and the CRS in action at fairly close quarters (thankfully I wasn't the focus of their ire), I'm sure that these pirates were given a decent pasting for their efforts.

No doubt there will be people moaning that the French navy are nasty people for not looking significantly enough like a military vessel with guns and trained personnel.

Well done the Frogs.

The One That Would Have Left Smouldering Footprints In His Wake. . .

I could do with a laugh today, so here's this which tickled me greatly. I have but one comment to make:

RUN AWAY!!! RUN AWAY !!!

The One That Wants To Know Why You Can't Just Mind Your Own Bloody Business. . .

Back in March I blogged about some mouthbreathing Righteous arsewipe who was incapable of keeping her bloody nose out of other peoples' business.

It's happened again:

A supermarket has apologised to one of its customers after she was told she could not have unpasteurised cheddar cheese because she was pregnant.

I could paste more, but really can't be arsed.

Look, it is very simple.

It is none of your fucking business. None. Whatsoever.

I don't go to the supermarket for medical advice, and even if I did, I wouldn't seek that advice from the girl working on the fucking cheese counter.

Jeeeeesus.

Here we have it folks, our politicians spend so much time telling us how to live our lives that everyone thinks it is an appropriate way to behave. Footballers? Rock stars? Pah, it is the NuLabourites that have been a bad example for the public, if only they'd wrap cheese wire around their necks and stick their faces into the meat-slicer, then perhaps know nothing cheese vendors would do the same, instead of sticking their noses in to other peoples' business.

Bastards.

The One That Says 'Oh, They WILL, Will They?'. . .

Just sat here watching Sky News, the chap doing the bit to camera in Dublin about the Lisbon Treaty has just made the point that if the Irish vote 'Yes', (and how I hope the opinion polls are wrong, that people have being fibbing to the pollsters or that in the polling station they just think 'Fuck you' and vote 'No'), that the Poles and Czechs will HAVE to ratify.

Will they? As sad as it is that the Irish constitution is the only one in the Europe Union of Soviet Socialist Republics to have any faith in its population's capacity for abstract thought, is it right that their decisions should influence, or force, the policy of another sovereign state?

Well, if the 'Yes' vote wins today, then get used to it, because the wishes of our national parliament and therefore (at least, on paper) the wishes of the electorates will be perpetually forced by the actions of a group immeasurably smaller than the group they hold power over. I speak not of the 3 million Irish with effective dominion over 497 million other 'EU Citizens', but of the fucktardish pen pushers, troughers and self appointed rulers sitting in Brussels.

And they will indeed hold power over us. Already Bliar is apparently a shoe-in for the job of President of the EU. Did you receive a polling card? I didn't. I didn't get the chance to vote for our commissioner, never have, believe me, there's no fucking way I'd have voted for Kinnock or Mandleson.

An apparent Republic with a population of 500 million, none of whom have had the opportunity to elect their President or those who make the laws that govern them. There's a name for a regime like that.

We've never had a say since 1975 - that's before I was born, and this was not the deal on the table. I was disgusted to hear a colleague of mine who describes himself as being 'Liberal' and a 'Democrat' describe a referendum as not democratic as people would make the wrong decisions and it is very, very complicated.

He was amazed when I called him an arrogant, patronising little weasel.

This is what we're up against. No pretence at democracy, no pretence at listening to what people want. Those on the top of the status quo want this introduced and it will be introduced.

Well, I've got news for you, you nasty little fuckers, a similar enterprise crumbled in Eastern Europe in the 90's, and if you continue to ride roughshod over us little people, your Ceacescu moment WILL come, and you won't even see it when it is right at the end of your nose.

A question. What if Lech Kaczynski and/or Vaclav Klaus turn round and say, 'You know, as Head of State, I don't want to sign this. I know what is best for my country, not you', what happens then?

God save Ireland, God save Poland, God save the Czech Republic.

God help the rest of us.

The One That Says You Can't Be Wrong All The Time. . .

A centre of common sense and reason, earlier today.

I quite often tear into organised religion on here. I don't hold a lot of store in it. I think they are pretty much always wrong.

Not this time though.

And whilst I may not set a lot of store by what the Vatican has to say, but many in Ireland do. Old habits die hard.

Looks like the Pope is none too impressed with the grand European Project. During a Papal visit to reluctant participant, the Czech Republic, the Pope's Secretary of State, Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone* released a statement which will probably have the Brussels apparatchiks choking on their moules et frites.

'Individual European countries have their own identity. The EU prescribes its laws or views to them and they do not have to fit with their traditions and history. Some countries are logically resisting this – for example, Ireland'

He then bangs on about the evils of bum sex for a while - c'mon guys, get over it.

Never mind, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Let's hope that in the morning Ireland has a sudden attack of deep Catholicism and does what The Vatican tells them - just for the day.

*How entertaining to see a title for an office of state that Mandelson doesn't have. Granted with his name, he'd be unlikely to ever become a Cardinal, but I'm willing to bet he'd love to have the outfit.

The One That Is Hoping And Praying. . .

C'mon guys and girls. You've told them once already. If you let them push you around, you let them push a whole continent around.

Ireland could be the saviour of us all. A 'No' vote will not destroy the EU, but it will put the brakes on, if only for as long as it takes them to come back again and tell you you've made the wrong decision.

Thank God for Ireland's constitution, and how sad that out of such a large group of countries, only one has the faith in its people to make their own minds up.

Ratification of this treaty really would give me serious cause to consider my continued residence in this country. The corruption in the EU, the arrogance, the anti-democratic practices and dictatorial manner in which business is done chills me to the very core.