Monday, 31 January 2011

Hang on, I've got the receipt here somewhere.

It used to be so simple, didn't it? Making a financial transaction.

I'd be walking down the street and I'd go past your shop, The Whizzo Widget Emporium and I'd think to myself, 'Goodness me, they are awfully nice widgets, I could do with a new widget, my one's nearly worn out.'* And I'd go in, and I'd buy one.** You'd give me a receipt to prove that I hadn't half inched it and to give me some redress in the unlikely event that the widget you'd sold me, in spite of your intensive QC process, was in some way defective. We'd both be happy.

But it's all changed now. Now, apparently, I have to pay. I have no choice. Whether I want the widget or not. I have to pay for it. It is entirely possible that my life is perfectly comfortable without a widget, but I still have to pay for it, as someone may want the widget, but can't afford it. That annoys me.

What really grips my shits, as I believe the phrase has it, is that if I should then want a widget, I have to pay for it. Again. Even though I've paid for it already. Even though some people still get a free widget.

That hardly seems fair, does it? To be made, forced to pay for it, I'll just about take that on the chin. To then have to pay again, because I actually want to use the service I've been forced to pay for, is just not on.

What am I wibbling on about? This:

Parents who send their children to Kent grammar or faith schools could have to pay to use council-run transport.

Just note the targeting there. Grammar and faith schools. Why them?

Kent County Council (KCC) is considering introducing a contributory fee to help towards the cost of transport from September 2012.

A contributory fee? A contribu-bloody-tory fee? That's called Council Tax you utter mongs. What you're actually doing is surcharging people because their kids were fortunate enough to have the brains to pass the 11+ or because of their religious convictions. Nice. As an aside, I wonder how many of them are kids going to Muslim faith schools. I don't know if there are any in Kent, and I've lived here most of my life, never heard of one. I bet you wouldn't bloody dare.

The council said the charge would be waived for children who were from low income families and eligible for free school meals.

Oh, that's generous of them. So they won't screw some people over twice. Bless.

Here's the best bit:

Parents will be able to comment on the plans in the near future, KCC added.

Oh will they now? Well, that is fucking magnanimous of them, isn't it? Bloody hell, they'll be saying they, like, believe in democracy, and shit, next. Parents will be able to comment! Will they have to go on some opinion forming course first? Because being able to express an opinion is such a ground shaking, pant wettingly new experience for the poor little proles, that they may just expire from the excitement. Have you thought this through? Have you made plans to cope in the event that the brains of these parents start to run out of their ears under the effort of making a comment on council policy?

It'd probably be best to keep it to yourselves that the comments they make will be totally ignored. Just give them a reminder at election time that it is your God given right to govern and they had better bloody vote for you.

Why the hell do people continue to vote for these utter wanks who do nothing but treat the people they are supposed to be representing with such total and complete contempt?

* You dirty minded little bastard.

** And, because you are a nice, decent person, you'll do this with wonderful customer service. Attentive when I need you, with deep and impressive knowledge about your widgets, but otherwise leaving me the hell alone unless I really look like, or ask for, your help.


William said...

Kent does seem to be a county blessed with more than its fair share of fuckwits!

Snowolf said...

Yep. I'm one of them!