Been a little busy this week, but there are a few things which have rattled my cage over the last few days.
Very well done on your posturing over the EU budget. Gosh, you are my heroes. What is going to happen if you don't get your way? Are you going to refuse to pay? No? How about giving us a referendum asking whether in light of the cuts being made to the domestic civil service we want to contribute to an even more bloated, wasteful, arrogant and unaccountable European one? No? How about meekly giving in and coughing up more our money, even though nobody has ever had the good grace to ask us if we want to be members of this ridiculous club? Yes? Thought so.
Be a good bunch of chaps and chapesses, and fuck off. Come back when you've grown a pair.
Stupid people on radio phone in shows:
Stop blaming the bankers. Yes, they screwed their business up, but it wasn't them who bankrupted the country, it was the politicians. They didn't come running when Woolies went under, no rescue package was put together when MFI hit the skids, they were nowhere to be seen when Zavvi disappeared. Yet somehow, they had to ride to the resuce of the shareholders of the bank when they spectacularly failed to exercise any control over the people they had appointed to run the business in the first place.
The value of your shares can go up, as well as down. Well, unless those shares are in a bank, then they can only go up. The taxpayer wouldn't stand me my debts if I pissed my wages up the wall on the roulette table, so why should the banks be any different?
Cold callers calling my phone:
Fuck off. If your product or service was that amazing, I'd be calling you. It isn't, leave me alone, don't get all huffy when I tell you to fuck off. You applied for the job, them's the breaks.
Charity muggers knocking at my door:
Fuck right off. I'll give to charity on my own terms, thank you very much. I certainly won't give to charities who have already had their hand in my pocket courtesy of the Inland Revenue. And I'll be damned if I give to a charity who then uses that money to employ some mercenary to try and make off with more of my money.
Utility companies knocking at my door:
Fuck right off and die horribly. That is all.
Stupid people at supermarket checkouts:
If you haven't been able to figure out how to use the self-service jobbies by now, please go and use the checkout with the friendly young lady sat at it. She'll take care of you. However, don't act surprised when, having stood there like a mong for five minutes whilst the nice young lady has scanned and bagged your items for you, the nice young lady asks for payment in return for the bags of produce sat in front of you. Try having your wallet out and ready.
Righteous people at checkouts:
I take the plastic bags every time because I have a need for them. Don't sneer at me. I use them to pick up the shit my large dog leaves lying around the park when I take her for a walk. Or would you rather I went out a bought a supply of plastic bags? No. OK then, I'll leave it where is so your kids can play in it.
There's a whole bunch of other people who piss me off, but I've had enough now. I'm off for a cigarette.