Exchange offices in the UK have stopped selling 500 euro banknotes because of their use by money launderers.
Oh, oh this will be good. Who has demanded this?
The Serious Organised Crime Agency says 90% of the notes sold in the UK are in the hands of organised crime.
Hooray! It's SOCA. One of Labour's crowning glories. It's also the BBC, let's see how long it takes for them to talk down to us. . .
. . . ah, here it is.
There has been mounting international concern over the note, which is worth more than £400, and its use by criminals or tax evaders.
€500 is worth more than £400. Did you know that, prole? Did you? Thank God they are there to tell us this important stuff.
The move means nobody will be able to buy the note in the UK - but travellers will be able to sell them if they enter the UK carrying them from abroad.
Oh that's nice. So you'll still be able to bring the item of perfectly legal tender across most of Europe into the country. For now. How long until someone with a €500 bill gets nicked under sus of being an organised criminal?
Hang on, I've spotted a flaw here. Won't these criminals just use smaller notes? And won't it be a pain the arse for everyone? If Spain sneezes then you'll need a €500 note just to buy a $10 bill.
Why stop there? I'll bet organised criminals will use £50 notes. Ban them. Actually to be on the safe side, better ban the sale of all money. And mobile phones, they use them too. And cars. I'm sure the last person I saw in court accused of being an organised criminal was wearing shoes and trousers. They'll have to be banned too.
Election season is over, normal service has been resumed.