The One That Is Going To Become A Spiv. . .

The Snowolf, with a pocket full of C-Creds, earlier today.

Sometimes, even by today's standards, an idea comes forward which is so monumentally stupid that it really does beggar belief.

This one is a doozie. It combines the three great hallmarks of New Labour; sanctimony, control and complete unaccountability.

Everyone should be given an annual carbon ration and face financial penalties if they exceed it, under a proposal by the Environment Agency.

Yep, it's that old chestnut again, the only way to save the polar bears is to have the state open your wallet for you.

Lord Smith of Finsbury, the agency’s chairman, will say today that rationing is the fairest and most effective way of meeting Britain’s legally binding targets for cutting greenhouse gas emissions.

Ah yes, Lord Smith of Finsbury, I remember his election campaign like it was yesterday. I recall how. . . oh, no hang on, he's not been elected to anything.

Snowolf, chairman of the Snowolf's Front Room committee, will say today that rationing the kicking of Lord Smith of Finsbury repeatedly in the face is the fairest and most effective way of keeping the mouths of unelected fuckwits firmly closed.

Legally binding? What? How so? I didn't agree to be legally bound by anything. Is this a criminal or a civil matter? Can we look forward to ministers being sent to the clink if we don't meet the targets? If so, I'm going to stick my heating on full, run every electrical appliance I have and open all the windows and doors.

People would be given a “carbon account” and a unique number that they would have to submit when making purchases of carbon-intensive items such as petrol, electricity or airline tickets. As with a bank account, people would receive statements showing the carbon weight of each purchase and how much of their ration remained.

Oh you are having a fucking laugh, aren't you? Really, come on, even by NuLab standards this is a different class. You'd just fucking love to get your hands on that little tool wouldn't you?

It won't just be that, the next step will be for everyone to go to the GPs, under threat of a fine, to have their lung capacity measured, so we can be taxed on breathing out. So another tax on petrol, on top of the duty and VAT. Nice. Of course, ministers and peers would be exempt because they are really important. Then food. We can cut obesity and save the planet. Soylent Green anyone? That was set in 2020.

If they used up their ration within a year, they would have to buy extra credits from those who had not used their full allowance.

Oh, what a great idea. I'll bet you rubbed yourself red-raw when you masturbated furiously in celebration of that idea, didn't you?

And it has a secondary control tool as well. 'Are you going up on the march to demonstrate against the suspension of parliamentary democracy?'

'No, I've not got the carbon credits, I don't even have enough to take a hot shower.'

The return to feudalism. We won't be able to leave the Manor without the Lord's permission.

I'm going to dress up like Pte. Walker from Dad's Army, because the black market in unused carbon credits will go through the fucking roof. People will pay hundreds to get their hands on a little ticket that literally represents thin fucking air.

That's right, the government will now sell us fresh air, and will then tax us on the use of it.

What else will this enable? ID fraud will go through the roof as well. Perhaps if we had some sort of national ID card scheme, we could combat these eeeeeeevil people who get more than their fair share?

An ID card will prevent terrorism and save the planet.

Terrorism:

–noun

1.	the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, esp. for political purposes.

2.	the state of fear and submission produced by terrorism or terrorization.

The machinery of our government is engaging in terrorism against its own population.

Nice.