The One That Says It Could Never Happen Here. . .

Ha! Those Irish! How naive are they? They think that if they turn out in sufficient numbers, make a big old fuss and say things like:

I am sick and tired of the way this government conducts itself and what it's doing to this country." "I've worked all my life, I've never broke the law, never walked out on strike. Instead I've went to work and done my job, I've a mortgage to pay, I've children to put through school, and now I'm being told I have to take cutback, after cutback, after cutback.'

that things will change. Well, perhaps they might in Ireland, Iceland, or Lithuania or Umbongoland or somewhere, but not here in the UK.

No, our politicians are proper sociopaths, all that would happen here is that protesting would be made illegal, police would be given riot training and extended powers to deal with people who have the temerity to voice dissent and would probably find themselves locked up for a long, long time. The politicians would carry on, because they are right, even if they are wrong, they are right, they are on a mission to save us and this mission must be seen through to the end, even if it means us all being destroyed.

The One That Is Saying 'Oh No, Please Don't Go'. . .

So that bloke, what's his name, haven't seen him in ages.

You know? That bloke, the one with the eyebrows, he's supposed to be Chancellor of the something or other.

Anyhow, him, he went on to the TV this morning with Andrew Marr, (the one with the mad waving arms and who isn't David Frost) and he said, quite startlingly, that perhaps all these bankers shouldn't get fucking enormous bonuses any more, what with them making an absolute balls up of everything and being paid from the public purse and all. I think he went on to say that the ice cream he had for pudding last night was quite cold, and that the glass of orange juice on the table in front of him this morning was a glorious orange colour.

So having spent the morning stating the bleeding obvious, the bankers have been hitting back all day. There's been the threat that has been hanging over us all since before it all went tits-up, tax us and we'll piss off, don't pay us our bonuses and we'll piss off, stop us appearing on rolling news coverage wearing ridiculous shirts with stupid cravats or bowties and we'll piss off.

'We can't afford to lose this talent.' They'll bleat.

'Oh no, please don't go,' say I, 'I mean, you've done such a great job, everything's run so well, and with your proven track record, I'm sure if you did run away to New York, Frankfurt or Tokyo there'd be legions of investment banks wanting to take you on, because they've all got so much money right now.'

Let's call the fuckers' bluffs, let's employ a load of front counter staff to do their job, they really couldn't do any worse.

And what's more, what is with all this bonus shit anyway? Firstly, you ruin everything and expect a bonus for it? Are you crazy? Even if it goes right you still shouldn't get a bonus, it's the bloody job you're paid to do for crying out loud.

Go on, piss off, the bloody lot of you, your greed, avarice and incompetence has enslaved an entire generation, doomed to pay the price for your preening. A bonus? Come round my place mate, I'll give you a bonus, I'll kick you so hard between the legs that your bollocks will come flying out of your ears.

Bastards.

The One That Wants Everyone To Wake Up . . .

Look, I don't care if you agree with me, or disagree with me, but at least take the time to see what is going on. Please?

Obo points out in this post that whilst the majority of the print media leads with the IMF saying we are in real trouble, the main media and news outlet in the country puts up the feeble 'World growth worst for 60 years.' Where is the much trumpeted 'impartiality' that they've trotted out over the last few days about the Palestine appeal?

Guthrum, guesting at Old Holborn's place shows that there is civil unrest in Lithuania and reports (correctly) that there is just short of a general strike in France tomorrow due to the financial mismanagement of their affairs. Putin is coming under pressure in Russia.

Meanwhile there are millions on the move in China, its young economy reeling from the blows, demonstrators in Iceland bringing down the government, questions starting to be asked in Ireland about their continued membership of the Euro, things still not roses and love in Greece.

We have a Prime Minister who declares that he's saved the world whilst his colleagues back away with rictus grins on their faces. Nationalised banks handing out bonuses to staff who have overseen their demise. Most of the banks taking a huge amount of taxpayers' money, and then taking a staggering amount of taxpayers' money, meaning that each individual taxpayer is in debt to the tune of tens of thousands of pounds. Car companies being given over £2bn in public funds and then the government says they'll consider subsidising car workers' wages. Announcements that £300m has still been found to hand over to the victims and perpetrators of the 'troubles' in Ulster.

This isn't financial planning, it's a fire sale.

What do we do? We watch Coronation Street and 'Celebrity' Arseing Big Sodding Brother.

For crying out loud people. Take the time, do the digging. Make your own mind up. It doesn't matter what I think. It doesn't matter what the BBC, the Sun, Heat magazine or Horse and bloody Hound magazine think. It doesn't matter what the Prime Minister thinks, it matters what you think, so please, please, please form your own opinion, won't you?

. . . and some fell on stoney ground. . .

The One That Wonders Why It Was There In The First Place. . .

I normally consider myself quite lucky to live in Kent. It is a very pleasant place with some lovely countryside, excellent produce, nice (and some not so nice) towns, and it is only a short hop out of this mess of a country. Admittedly France is your main option, but beggars can't be choosers.

How interesting to learn that Kent County Council are on the verge of waving goodbye to £50m that was invested in an Icelandic bank. Indeed there's a double whammy here, Canterbury City Council, the body responsible for running my city could also come out light, to the tune of £1m.

Let us set aside the fact that indicators have not been good regarding the Icelandic banks for a little while now. Let us set aside the fact that having lost millions of pounds of taxpayers' money that the local authorities are now crying to the government about this and want the same protection afforded to individual savers. Actually, no, let us not set that aside. You've lost £50m and then go and ask the government for more taxpayers' cash to cover the shortfall? Are you crazy?

I mean, really, you must be stark raving, batshit, howling at the moon, madder than a bag of cut snakes, mental. I'm a civil servant, although central rather than local government, if I were to cash up my wages and then chuck them in the back of a passing rubbish truck, would I expect the government to cough up again? No, of course not, because I'd been rather stupid and should had known better.

But anyhow, £50m, that's fifty fucking million quid, gone, more than likely. Gordie thinks that Iceland have acted illegally (I'm inclined to agree with him, but that's more to do with awful bloody adverts, THAT woman and awful rubbery frozen prawns) I'm not sure of the details. But even if they have, what are we going to do? Sue them? They're bloody broke, that's the whole point.

Hang on a second. . .

What the bloody hell was all that cash doing in saving accounts and investments anyway? I don't pay my taxes to have it hoarded away. I don't pay my taxes at all, I have large amounts of cash regularly and forcibly removed from me, in some cases it is intercepted before it even reaches my bank account. I resent having this money taken from me and spent on equality, diversity, climate change and 5-a-day advisors (£42,000 pa + car + pension, 37.5 hours per week) but at least it isn't taken off me and put in a bloody savings account.

Oh wait, it is!

So you're stealing my money for investment purposes? That isn't governance, its being a mugger with red braces and a really nasty, shiny suit.

You utter, utter, utter bastards. I hope all your children have small penises. . . especially the girls.