The One That Is Shouting 'Run, You Buggers! RUN!' . . .

Right folks, just sit back, close your eyes and breathe in deeply through your nose.

Smell that?

Mmmmmm. Me too, don't you just love the smell of cretinous mongtard in the morning?

Yes, Sir Liam Donaldson is at it again.

Schoolchildren could face annual fitness tests under plans laid out by the Government's chief medical officer.

Sir Liam Donaldson wants pupils to undergo "bleep tests" - similar to schemes already running in California and Texas - to help increase fitness levels.

That's a good idea. Perhaps we should install telescreens in everyone's house, then we can have compulsory aerobic sessions in the mornings.

How about some Sokol gymnastics? Or the sort of mass gymnastic demonstrations so beloved of the Communist bloc?

It just goes to show that politicans have no concept of the connection between the decisions they make and policies they implement and the end results.

In the last thirteen years we've seen widespread sale of playing fields, a culture of fear that tells us there's a paedo hiding in the bushes of every park and the obligation for anyone that wants to volunteer to set up kids' sporting clubs to undergo the macro-examination of their lives because they're bound to be kiddy fiddlers as well.

Surprisingly, and you yourself would be a racist paedophile to make any connection between the policies and the results, children in this country have never been less fit.

It isn't the Government's fault, oh no. It's the fault of the parents who are scared to let the kids out of the house, or must seem so bloody precious about being screened, to those doing the screening, before they can work with the kids. The 'authorities' really do believe it is they who look after the best interests of the kids, rather than those who get of their arses and actually do it.

So how will this work?

The bleep test involves running between two markers laid out 20 metres apart. The child must run from one marker to the other before a beep sounds.

Must run? Or what? Will they be taken into care?

Actually, that's not funny, as it probably isn't too far from the truth.

And how will this test be administered? No doubt in some school hall in front of the whole school, where the less fit kids will waddle valiantly between the markers whilst their fitter classmates hoot with derision. Oh, the scope for bullying will be almost boundless.

And how will the kids who fail this test (Is this allowed? Or will they just be given a grade C?) improve their level of fitness? Will they magically be given time on the playing fields the schools had to sell to build houses on during PE lessons that they don't have anymore because they're having lessons on diversity, citizenship, Africa and global warming?

It really does beggar belief. We are allowed no responsibility for ourselves, unless we find ourselves disadvantaged because of the things that have been ripped from us, then it is all our fault.