People in Azerbaijan who voted for a song by neighbouring Armenia in May's Eurovision Song Contest have been questioned by the authorities.
Perhaps there's a Ministry of Artistic Integrity. I don't think I've heard the song, but I'm sure it isn't going to win any awards. Maybe Azerbaijan are very concerned about the public's consumption of the arts?
One man told the BBC he was accused of being unpatriotic and a potential security threat, after he sent a text backing Armenia's song, Jan Jan.
What? A potential security threat? Bloody hell. He voted for a fucking song. It's not just us that use the security dogwhistle as an excuse to give someone a hard time for the hell of it, then.
The Azerbaijani authorities said people had merely been invited to explain why they voted for Armenia.
Bloody hell. I remember reading about an East Berliner who was given a hard time by the Stasi for being a Hertha Berlin fan (who played in the Bundesliga in the West) and listening to their matches on the radio. Supporting a Western Team was dangerously subversive (Dynamo Berlin were despised as the Stasi club and finally died in 1991), but to be given a hard time for text voting in the Eurovision? Invited? How? Would you like to explain your vote, or would you like Big Ivan here to hit your hands with this lump hammer? Jesus.
One final little question; How did the authorities know this man had voted for the Armenians? I'm willing to bet that it was down to the retention of all telephone calls and text messages on some sort of central database.
Of course, that could never happen here, and would never be used for such a trivial 'offence', no it would only be used on naughty brown people.