So let's get something straight, there's more chance of me commanding the first manned mission to Mars than voting Labour, so if I had a vote in Crewe and Nantwich, I certainly wouldn't be voting for them. I could write a huge missive on why I'd prefer to repeatedly slam my testicles in a heavy drawer in an antique oak dresser than vote for that bunch of bastards, but it makes veins stand out in my neck and makes me all cross, so I'll save that for later.
LibDems? A party with no spine, no leader (yes I know Clegg is the leader, but come on, be sensible), and a manic desire to hand over the rest of what little remains of our autonomy and sovereignty to that cesspit of corruption, the EU.
Tories? Don't you just get the feeling that something isn't right there? It is like when x-ray specs were advertised in comics, you'd send off your postal order and become almost breathless with anticipation, until you realised that you'd been sold a pup. It is all very well saying that there can be no policies until they've had the chance to look over the books and what have you, but I'm afraid it just doesn't wash. Apparently, Gordie says they are all style and no substance. Now, I'm not about to take style tips from Gordie, he's wrong, there's neither style nor substance. They will of course win the next election by default. Well they won't win, ZaNuLabour will lose it, at the moment, and as will be demonstrated on Thursday, they could line up against an under 7's amputee football team and still lose.
So that leaves us with the fringe parties:
Greens? The 'Watermelon' party, green on the outside, red in the middle. You think that Labour lot are preachy. Can you imagine? I suspect that a reprise of Pol Pot's agrarian communism would be on the cards.
UKIP? I used to be quite well disposed to UKIP, but two things changed my mind, firstly the embracing, however fleeting, of permatanned arse-clown Robert Kilroy Silk (and whatever happened to Veritarse?) and secondly, whilst I support their plans to withdraw from the EU, I can't help the feeling that there's a little bit of the Johnny Foreigner about it.
It is a sad state of affairs isn't it? The same old brigade, representing the same old (self) interests, you can be assured that any of them would continue to tax us until we puke, and then continually nag us whilst expecting us to be really most 'umble and thankful to them for it.
Bunch of bastards, the lot of them.
I see the Flying Brick is standing for the The Official Monster Raving Loony Party, (Official? WTF?) I think I'd vote for him, I could do with a flying brick.
Of course then the problem is not agonising about who not to vote for, but who to lob the flying brick at, ah decisions decisions. Hopefully I may one day be able to vote for the UK Libertarian Party, you can find them in the little button on the top right hand of the page.