The one that would write a letter of complaint if it wasn't so hot and if it thought anyone would take the blindest bit of notice.

How interesting to see that the BBC has admitted to keeping £106,000 that it managed to cream off premium rate phone calls, and should have gone to charity.

Now, that may seem a little startling at first glance, but of course it is peanuts. Peanuts compared to the £700,000 it spanked on the BBC2 idents back in February last year, or the £18 million proposed in October for the launch of a Gaelic language channel - max audience: 70,000, or indeed the insane and costly move of a large number of services (Radio 5 et al) from London, where all the news is, to Salford, where all the news isn't, for no reason other than it seemed a good idea in the pub at the time.

What a fine example of a public body the BBC is turning out to be, running out biaised news coverage (for example the complete failure to talk about the oft referred to EU aspect in the recent report on Royal Fail, sorry, Mail.), rehashing old tut and passing it off as something new, such as Bianca and Rickaaaaaay in Brain Stem Deathenders, Celebrity do anything for TV exposure and charity (except we now know that money wasn't actually going to charity) and a seemingly ceaseless parade of shows detailing the auction of cheap antiques and the sale of houses.

A shame as what the BBC does well, it does very well. Like. . . well. . . . OK, I'm struggling to think of something at present. The kids' programming is nothing but crap imports, we don't need Brain Stem Deathenders on 15 nights a week, Life on Mars was excellent, except for the fact it was destroyed by the bloody awful Ashes to Ashes. Comedy is now nothing but sketch shows (Little Miss Jocelyn? Titty Bang Bang? Give me strength) and the sports coverage shrinks each year and offers nothing but tired presentation and banal punditry.

Hang on, what AM I paying my licence fee for? If the BBC were a subscription channel like Sky, would I subscribe? Probably not. Perhaps it is time to scrap the licence fee, or at the very least have a directly elected head of the organisation that we take out back and quietly shoot if things go pear-shaped.

Hmmmm.

Oooooh, the Mediaeval season on BBC4 has been quite good, and I'd turn on to watch Stephen Fry on anything. Perhaps they could commission a series where he goes round to celebrities houses and reads their meter before telling them how much their house is worth, cooking them dinner and sniggering at their worthless knick-kancks. We could call it 'The Very Embodiment of The Dumbing Down and Destruction of a National Institution, and the BBC.'

I bet Ant and Fucking Dec wouldn't beat that in the People's Choice award either.