The Numismatist.

Sometimes you almost have no option but to stand and applaud the inventiveness of people. Some people are born bullshitters and do it with such style and panache, that despite the bullshit being so obvious, you can only stand in awe-struck admiration.

I have just been witness to one such master outside Sainsbury's. One of the local wino population, a middle aged Scottish gentleman (and why are they always Scottish? Are they born Scottish, or does the accent come with the job?) greeted someone using the cashpoint very warmly, shaking him by the hand and enquiring as to the gentleman's health.

You've no doubt realised that the design of the reverse side of our coins changed recently and when a collection of all denominations are placed together they make up the design of the Queen's coat of arms. This chap embarked on a tale of how he was a coin collector and only needed one coin to complete the collection of this design, and any assistance the gentleman at the cash point could offer in this venture would be warmly received, like pal.

When asked which coin it was he needed to complete his collection, the Scottish man did blot his copy book a little by admitting that he did not remember, but went on to recover by saying that any donation would be scrutinised to ensure that it was not a duplicate of a denomination already present in this collection, and that if it was, it would be passed on to a worthy cause.

Wonderful stuff.

The whole tableaux was set off nicely by the sight of his mate inspecting the dog ends dropped outside the door and giving a little shriek of delight when he discovered a filter cigarette that had only been half smoked which he proceeded to cannibalise into a roll-up made with a fag paper which was hopelessly wet.

Unknown, unshaven, slightly blurred around the edges, Caledonian numismatist, I doff my cap to you.