The One That Says Size Does Matter. . .

Stupidity reigns in the Weald of Kent.

The little market town of Tenterden has had some new double yellow lines put down on a road.

These lines are 80cm long and sit on the corner of the road leading into someone's driveway.

Yes.

Eighty centimetres.

Tenterden is quite a well heeled place, rather well-to-do, which means you get wonderfully eloquent expressions of exasparation like this:

One can only watch with weary resignation the Ashford Borough Council painters slapping double yellow lines on the roadway outside our house. Having failed, through a combination of ineptitude and local anger, to implement the draconian parking restrictions they wanted to impose on Tenterden, the council are now doing the predictable – bringing in restrictions by stealth.

As a result, we and our neighbours have lost nine perfectly good parking spaces which the council have deemed a road safety hazard, but which haven’t caused a single accident in the 13 years we have lived here. In their messianic zeal to use up every single pot of yellow paint, the council also seem to have created the world’s smallest parking restriction.

Of course it isn't the smallest. Not even in the UK, apparently Islington holds the record for yellow lines, clocking up one space which comes in at a microscopic 50cm, or something.

The response from the council is predictable.

Ashford council says the yellow lines have been introduced following extensive public consultation

But of course. The people of Tenterden were beating down Ashford Borough Council's door for these lines.

This just shows the arrogance and self-important attitude from these wonks. It would have been so much easier to say 'someone's over-stepped the mark here. These plans were drawn up after lunch on a Friday when the planner was due off on holiday at the weekend and he wasn't really giving it his all. We've had words with him and will remove the offending items.'

But they won't. They cannot make daft decisions. They are correct. The decision will stand. They do not serve, they dictate. You will be silent and comply.

What a bunch of idiotic buffoons.