There's one for you, nineteen for me. . .

I just love being told how much of my money some twat who I, and most other people, never voted for, will allow me to keep.

Happy budget day, people.

I tried, but I couldn't.

I tried to come up with a more ridiculous idea than this. I tried really hard. I've been pacing up and down the living room all evening trying to come up with something even more boneheaded than this suggestion, I've worn a hole in the carpet, I've failed.

I'll just let this, I struggle to think of a term which doesn't go from dim, through absurd, racing through insane before stopping at inspired as it completes the cycle breaking through the divide at the back. I'll just have to use inspired.

I'll just let this inspired idea speak for itself.

[Bob Crow] The General Secretary of the militant Rail, Maritime and Transport union was booed as he outlined his idea for a 1p tax on each email during an appearance on a late night comedy show. 

Errrrrm.


















No. I'm speechless.

Well it's failed every other time, so it is bound to work now.

Should the UK tax high-fat junk food to cut obesity rates? 

Oh Jesus, here we go.

Because the increase in tax on tobacco, alcohol, petrol, flying, electricity and gas has slashed the number of people who smoke, drink, drive, take holidays, cook and heat their homes, hasn't it? I mean, why wouldn't it work?

In the same way as taxing cigarettes helped to reduce smoking and related illnesses, could putting up the price of junk food - as Denmark has done - cut obesity rates in the UK?

Whoa, hang on. Taxing cigarettes has helped to reduce smoking related illnesses? Has it? Come on, you are a correspondent for a 'reputable' programme on a 'reputable' broadcaster, so I'm assuming you've referenced or linked to your source material for that, have you?

*scans the article*

No, they haven't.

I went on a day trip to Brugge (the French can sod off, it is a Flemish city, so I'll use the correct spelling, thank you very much) last week. Very nice it was too. Just on the Belgian side of the French border is the town of Adinkerke, it has a most impressive collection of tobacco retailers, all patronised almost exclusively by French and British. Why? Because tobacco taxes drive them there. So I would say that taxing cigarettes has helped to increase the profits of those living on the Franco-Belgian border and reduced the income to the treasury in both the UK and La Belle France.

I digress.

The first thing that struck me on the taxi journey into Copenhagen was how slim everyone looked.
I really had trouble spotting anyone fat.
And the second thing that became obvious the moment I stepped out of the cab and was almost run over by a cyclist, was that the Danes are clearly no strangers to exercise. 

Oh, for the love of God.

I've been to Copenhagen as well. Lovely city, very nice people, the Danes.

One thing I noticed; the national sport in Denmark, alongside eating pickled fish, is . . . smoking.

Prohibition does not work. Minimum pricing is illegal. Taxing junk food, really? Who is to say what counts? Are you willing to take on the legal might of McDonald's when you say their burgers are bad, but the burgers sold in the pub two doors down are ok?

I've an alternative, you could just fuck off and stop trying to make people into little grey miserable clones. Try it.

Oh, and BBC, Panorama markets itself as a news programme. Try covering some bloody news for a change, eh?

So much stupid.

There are some ideas which are a bit stupid. Like trying to unscrew a plug with a paring knife.

There are some really stupid ideas. Like sitting on the branch of the tree you are about to cut off with a chainsaw.

Then there are some catastrophically stupid ideas. You know, the sort of idea which starts with Pa Prescott looking at his missus and saying 'I'm feeling frisky, let's have an early night.'

Then you transcend that level of stupidity and get an idea which is so monumentally, incomprehensibly bad, that it defies all belief.

This idea is thoroughly fisked by Thaddeus over at Anna Raccoon's place, and involves the idea that obviously the current PAYE system isn't working, as evidenced by the recent balls-up. The solution? Even though the Revenue is responsible for the chaos, it is clear that it isn't their fault, so the whole thing has to be changed. This is a good one. Rather than having your employer taking the tax from your salary and passing it on to the treasury, your employer will cut out of the system and your wages will be passed, in totality to the revenue who will remove their cut and pass the remainder on to you.

What could possibly go wrong?

Do head over and read the whole thing. It's kinda important.

The One That Will Probably Go To France. . .

November is less than 24 hours away, and with November comes an increase in the money taken from people by holding them upside down and shaking them when they arrive at a UK airport.

planned rises in APD [. . .] will add up to £4 to the cost of a short-haul flight and up to £90 to the cost of a long-haul flight.

£90? Jesus, if you are a family of four going to Disney in Florida, that amounts to buying a ticket for a fifth member of the party and just tearing it up.

This is the new tithe to the religion of Warmism. I'm pretty bloody far from convinced about the whole shooting match, but even if it is right, what good is this tax going to do? The planes will still take off, full or empty, they have to, it is in their contracts with the airports. Nor do I see the connection with taking money off people and what that money actually does to 'save' the planet.

From Novmeber 2010, they are set to rise again!

It is a cynical attempt at emotional blackmail to take money off people to bankroll the explosion of public sector non-jobs that have proliferated since the economy went south.

Mrs. Snowolf and I were going to go to Gatwick and fly to North America in the spring.

We're probably not going to do that now. If they think they're getting any tax out of me, they can think again. We'll go to France instead. I can get a foot passenger ticket from Dover to Calais for about £4 each, and then for about another £20 can get a TGV ticket from Calais Ville to Paris CDG airport. They do flights to North America from there you know, plus I can have a fag in an indoor lounge whilst I wait for my flight to take off as well.

Those of you living in the South West and Wales would probably save £40 by going Pembroke - Rosslare and getting the train to Dublin. Those in the North could save cash by going Stranraer - Dun Laoghaire and then hopping over to the airport.

It's bit of extra faffing around, but I'm buggered if I'm going to give the government my cash if I can get away without doing so. Then of course, there's the e-borders scheme, in my experience the ferry ports will be a good deal behind the airports in its implementation, so you get to remain a private citizen rather than a chattel of the state.

Fuckers.

The One That Is Blessed With Clairvoyance. . .

I blogged a little while ago about an entertaining conspiracy theory surrounding the Government's intentions for t'internet.

Well, bless my barnacles. . .

A controversial broadband tax should be law before the next election, according to Minister for Digital Britain Stephen Timms.

Now there's a surprise. Didn't see that one coming.

The 50 pence a month tax applies to everyone with a fixed line telephone.

Speaking at a debate in London, Mr Timms said the tax will be presented to parliament as part of the Finance Bill.

So, £6 per year, doesn't sound that bad does it?

I'm betting any office will have to pay for each and every phone on their premises, even if it is on a switchboard. More cost which business won't have to bear, because it will be passed on to those who use their services or buy their products.

And what will the money be used for? Making sure everyone has broadband. The next stop will be a modem licence.

Why?

So they can get us all on to Cloud. That means that ALL your files, contacts, emails and browsing history will be centrally stored, and you'll only be able to access websites which the controllers feel is appropriate for you to access.

It's coming people, and it won't just be us, this will be global.

The One That Does Not Understand. . .

I know we're skint, I get that.

What I don't understand is why, even when times are good, tax on consumables goes up.

Why, every year, do we see the Chancellor stood at the despatch box saying 'petrol and diesel are going up 2p per litre, I'm putting 10p on a packet of fags, 5p on a pint of beer and 3p on a bottle of wine.'

Why? In what other area would this be acceptable? These products cost the government nothing, they have absolutely no involvement in the production of these goods. This is akin to standing outside Sainsbury and rifling through people's shopping bags as they leave the store. 'Stick of celery madam? That'll be 11p please. Oh dear, multi-packs of Andrex just went up today, you're going to have to give me 8p a roll, cough up. Is that a rolling pin? That's being taxed now, 4p, please. That'll go up another tuppence next year.'

'What if I don't pay?'

'I'll stamp on your foot.'

The woman would call the police, and I be nicked for demanding money with menaces. Rightly so.

Why on Earth does everyone just grumble and accept it? We know it all goes on buying them BBQ's, porn movies and paying their stamp duty. Where is the end of it? Will we see the Chancellor in 20 years standing up and saying '. . . duty on petrol will rise a further 3p to £21.37 a litre, on wine duty will rise 6p to £8.21 a bottle, so much as look at a cigarette and we'll take your house and violate your wife and kids.'?

Can anyone explain it?

The One That Fails To See The Logic. . .

Welcome to the UK.

Now give us your money.

You'll already be taxed for landing at or taking off from a UK airport, one can only wonder how long it will be before the same is extended to British sea-ports and the Eurostar stations. People coming to the UK for tourism and business already pay the government for the privilege of landing here.

So people that are coming here to spend money have their wallets prised open before they even make it to the baggage reclaim area. Nice.

Now those who come here to pay through the nose for our services, or to work and pay tax are to be relieved of £50 at the stage where they apply for their visas (any non-EU national must have a visa to enter the UK for a period longer than 6 months).

Pravda reports that:

People from outside the EU moving to the UK to work or study will have to pay £50 extra for visas to help areas struggling to cope with immigration.

The £70m raised by the two-year scheme, announced by Communities Secretary Hazel Blears, will help fund more police support and translators.

Right let us set aside that this has been announced by Hazel Blears, a creature who is living on borrowed time as far as I'm concerned.

Let us set aside the fact that we don't need more police, we just need them to be left alone to get on with their jobs rather than filling in forms and attending endless political indoctrination courses. Let us set aside the fact that people who come here to study and work are unlikely to need translators as they'll probably speak English anyway.

Let us concentrate instead on the fact that these people who are coming here to make something of themselves, and through the money they pay for their studies and the tax they pay on their earnings, are being pickpocketed to pay for those who arrive on false passports, in the backs of lorries or in the boots of cars.

Labour have fallen into the BNP trap again. They've decided that all immigrants are bad, and must be punished. So much for social justice.

Make no mistake about it, the clandestine entrants to the UK are economic migrants (believe me, I know more than the average bear on the subject of immigration), they queue up outside the ports of Calais, Dunkerque and Coquelles and cast envious glances at the departing trains and ferries. For the (admittedly falling) number who make it across the water without being discovered by the French Police, private security firms and British immigration who now work in France, the first question they ask is 'When do I get my house?' this is normally followed up by 'When do you give me money?'

You see international law states that those seeking political asylum (and that's the only sort) must claim their rights under the 1951 UN Convention in the first safe country they arrive in. If you're coming from Iran, I'll accept Iraq isn't safe. Ditto for Afghans going into Pakistan or Eritreans going into Ethiopia, but when you are in France, and many of the countries en route, you're safe. The EU and UN agree and have certified it as a safe country. The Taliban and Iranian extremists are a rare sight on the beaches of Cannes and the vineyards of Burgundy.

So I'm not going to entertain the idea that those in Calais are fleeing for their life. Persecution in Calais doesn't seem to go much beyond punchups between different ethnic groups. Hardly the state sponsored persecution you must prove to qualify for refugee status.

These people have made a lifestyle choice to get to the UK and live on the freebies from the public purse. Those coming here to contribute will have to foot the bill for them, even though they've nothing to do with them.

Don't worry Japanese students, Indian chemists, American lecturers, South African geologists and Pakistani doctors - you've just been assimilated. You are just like us.

You see, I have nothing to do with the British who choose not to work, who choose to squeeze out kids like a queen bee spits out eggs and who choose to sit back and let the State support them. I've nothing to do with them or their lifestyle at all, and yet I still have to foot the bill, to the detriment of my lifestyle.

Doesn't really seem fair, does it?

The One That Is Hurling Abuse. . .

Dr. David Walker, he's a prick.

Thankfully, a load of other Scottish doctors think he's a prick as well.

Increased tax on chocolate? Give me strength. The duty on cigarettes has gone up pretty much every year since, I don't know, anyone? A bloody long time. But people still buy them.

Listen you stupid bastards, if people want to eat chocolate, that's their business. If people eat so much chocolate passing hippos make amorous advances towards them, that's their look out. Keep your nose out of my fucking business, and your hands out of my fucking wallet. We've got to lose this obsession with taking money off people because they do something that perhaps you don't think is very wise.

Right, I'm off to write a letter to my MP suggesting that doctors have too much time on their hands for the money they get, and that perhaps if they were taxed every time they opened their mouths and said something bloody stupid, fatuous or demonstrated that they know better than everyone on every subject (A disturbingly common trait in doctors, and teachers.) then they wouldn't do it so often.

The One That Wants To Know Why. . .

A colleague of mine was involved in an accident today, not snow related, on his way into work. Indeed only about two hundred metres from our workplace - a Romanian HGV decided to take out the side of his car. He's fine. His car's screwed.

Whilst going out for a ciggie I espied him sat in a police car out the front of our building talking to a female police officer (I'm not sure if he got her number) who had been kind enough to give him a lift into the office. I couldn't help but notice the police car he was in was displaying a tax disc. I'd never pondered this before.

I'm assuming that the money from the taxpayer gets paid to the police, who then pass it on to the DVLA for a tax disc on a car which has been bought by the tax payer, which has all its running costs covered by the tax payer in order to serve the tax payer.

Can anyone please explain to me what some complete arse-clown was thinking when they decided that the emergency services had to have tax discs? Why? It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

The One That Is, To Be Frank, Amazed. . .

By this story.

Not the fact that she's been sacked.

The fact that she's been sacked without pay.

Did you ever?

What a pretty situation we find ourselves in now. What is the country coming to when a perfectly incompetent public servant, who totally fails to deliver on what she is paid to do, and is responsible for failing to prevent the spectacular death of a little boy, loses her job and doesn't trouser an enormous pay-off?

This sets a very dangerous precedent indeed. I hope the taxpayer takes note. . .

The One That Wonders Why It Was There In The First Place. . .

I normally consider myself quite lucky to live in Kent. It is a very pleasant place with some lovely countryside, excellent produce, nice (and some not so nice) towns, and it is only a short hop out of this mess of a country. Admittedly France is your main option, but beggars can't be choosers.

How interesting to learn that Kent County Council are on the verge of waving goodbye to £50m that was invested in an Icelandic bank. Indeed there's a double whammy here, Canterbury City Council, the body responsible for running my city could also come out light, to the tune of £1m.

Let us set aside the fact that indicators have not been good regarding the Icelandic banks for a little while now. Let us set aside the fact that having lost millions of pounds of taxpayers' money that the local authorities are now crying to the government about this and want the same protection afforded to individual savers. Actually, no, let us not set that aside. You've lost £50m and then go and ask the government for more taxpayers' cash to cover the shortfall? Are you crazy?

I mean, really, you must be stark raving, batshit, howling at the moon, madder than a bag of cut snakes, mental. I'm a civil servant, although central rather than local government, if I were to cash up my wages and then chuck them in the back of a passing rubbish truck, would I expect the government to cough up again? No, of course not, because I'd been rather stupid and should had known better.

But anyhow, £50m, that's fifty fucking million quid, gone, more than likely. Gordie thinks that Iceland have acted illegally (I'm inclined to agree with him, but that's more to do with awful bloody adverts, THAT woman and awful rubbery frozen prawns) I'm not sure of the details. But even if they have, what are we going to do? Sue them? They're bloody broke, that's the whole point.

Hang on a second. . .

What the bloody hell was all that cash doing in saving accounts and investments anyway? I don't pay my taxes to have it hoarded away. I don't pay my taxes at all, I have large amounts of cash regularly and forcibly removed from me, in some cases it is intercepted before it even reaches my bank account. I resent having this money taken from me and spent on equality, diversity, climate change and 5-a-day advisors (£42,000 pa + car + pension, 37.5 hours per week) but at least it isn't taken off me and put in a bloody savings account.

Oh wait, it is!

So you're stealing my money for investment purposes? That isn't governance, its being a mugger with red braces and a really nasty, shiny suit.

You utter, utter, utter bastards. I hope all your children have small penises. . . especially the girls.

The One That Says 'You Are Beneath Contempt. Be Silent'. . .

Interesting to see today that Unite and Amicus, two enormous trade unions, alluding to the fact that Labour have seemingly abandoned their constituency.

Here's a newsflash, Labour no more represent your members interests than the organising committee of the Eurovision Song Contest. Labour must be incredulous that you persist in giving them money. Jesus, they've even started taking money from big business in case you cotton on to this fact. What's going to happen when one body that donates to the party demands a return on their cash that is diametrically opposed to the wishes of the other? It is a disaster waiting to happen.

When Brown bangs on about 'hard working British families' (a phrase that Al-Beeb seems to regurgitate with sickening glee) he doesn't actually give a damn. Labour don't want hard working families. People that tend to work hard, especially if they do it with any thought, tend to succeed and better themselves. That is the last thing that Labour want.

This government want you to be beholden to them for everything. Because if you rely on them to keep you in housing, food, education, healthcare, anything, you are unlikely to act as a turkey voting for Xmas and putting an 'X' against anybody else's name. If you work hard and succeed, you will be penalised for it.

How dare you? How fucking dare you decide to do something for yourself? These people know what is best for you, you ungrateful snivelling little irrelevance, you are beneath contempt. Be silent.

I'm not a huge lover of the unions. I think they do have an important role to play in ensuring that employers do the right thing by their staff. Unfortunately just as much effort is wasted on the protection of the feckless, lazy, something for nothings as is spent on looking out for those who are decent employees and have been shat upon. All this calling of delegates 'Brothers and Sisters'. Give me a break. It is one step away from linking arms and marching on, hammers and sickles brandished in a display of workers' unity. You're being played old chum, ask the bloody workers how much power they had in the USSR and their associated satelites.

Anyhow, I digress, the glorious irony of Labour's policy of making people reliant upon them, is that the class of people who are most reliant couldn't give a toss about politics and don't turn out to vote. The people you are milking dry do turn out to vote, and boy have you pissed them off.

I am enjoying enormously watching this house built on a foundation of self-righteous hubris come tumbling down. Do keep it up. I could do with a laugh.

The One That Loves And Hates Things Like This. . .

I'll tell you a little story.

I work for a government department, which is fun.

Actually, that's a lie, it is miserable. A situation I am currently trying to address. Anyhow, just about a year ago, my team moved from a scruffy but much loved office in Dover, to a spanking new purpose built building in Folkestone. Of course it isn't as nice as the place we used to work at in Dover.

This new building has had a few problems, snagging it is called. There's been quite a list. One of the more controversial and ongoing ones has been the subject of proximity passes granting access to the building. For some reason these passes were only set up to work for one year and have now usefully expired, across the board. We were initially told that new passes would be made, at a cost to you the taxpayer of, well, God knows how much, but you can bet that because we are a government department a normal quote is taken and then trebled.

These new passes will be with us in a number of weeks.

In the short-term the plan for the existing passes is that they will be re-enabled until the new ones arrive. Yes, yes, I know, if the existing passes can be re-enabled, then why do we need new ones at all? The answer is probably something like 'someone has decided we need new passes, probably a committee, and that decision can't be reversed unless there's another committee and probably a focus group and a project team working to a delivery manager.'

Here's the real little gem, so skilfully hidden in this steaming pile of shite, an email was sat in my inbox this morning from one of the team (a fairly senior manager) that is in charge of the 'facilities managment'.* It spoke in vaguely confident fashion about how this problem is being sorted and that all will be well. One line in particular made me laugh out loud:

'I have been assured that this work is still underway and personnel should now shortly evidence resolution.'

What? I recognise the words, they are all good words, used in everyday English, but this is a combination of such that has hitherto been unknown to me. Evidence resolution? Oh, I see, you mean it'll be working again soon?

What a great representation of the civil service; not set-up properly, stops working, ridiculous plan to fix it, still not working, talk bollocks about it in the hope no-one asks any questions.

Don't worry, your taxes are being well spent.

* formerly 'accommodation team', then 'estate management', and will probably next week be called 'work place environmental management and resource best practice facilitation unit'. We do love a name change in the civil service.

The One That Is . . . . . . . . speechless. . .

Where to start? What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on?

Firstly Gordon the Goldfish told Cameron in the house last month that if he looks at the new vehicle excise duty plans that:

'. . .he will see that the majority of drivers will benefit from it.'

Now this morning we hear that the Treasury's own figures show that 9 million motorists will be worse off as a result.





NINE FUCKING MILLION.




I don't have the car ownership stats, although I could probably find them if I had the inclination, however I willing to bet that nine million shaftees doesn't constitute a minority of car owners.

That's nine million people being kicked squarely in the bollocks when he expressly told us that the majority of us would benefit. But that's not all, those who will be hit worse by this pernicious, hostile and retrospective tax will be those with older cars. Who owns these cars? The poor, the elderly, single parents, the disabled. Well done Gordon, well done indeed. The opposition parties couldn't even dream this own goal up, you really have taken political suicide to a new level.

So we have two conclusions to draw from this;
Firstly, you knowingly and deliberately misled the house when you told Cameron that. Therefore you should be held to account for this and removed from office immediately. Secondly, you are so amazingly incompetent and pig-shit thick that you cannot be trusted to run a bath, let alone a country, and should be removed from office immediately.

I've asked before, how does us giving you all our money equate to 'saving the environment'? It doesn't it is taking money under false pretence. This is called fraud.

I quote this lyric from 'Take A Bow' by Muse, one of my favourite popular beat ensembles:

Corrupt
You're corrupt
Bring corruption to all that you touch
Hold
You behold
And beholden for all that you've done
And spin
Cast a spell
Cast a spell on the country you run
And risk
You will risk
You will risk all their lives and their souls

And burn
You will burn
You will burn in hell, yeah you'll burn in hell
You'll burn in hell
Yeah you'll burn in hell
For your sins

And then, AND THEN, you tell the New Statesman that you're just like Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights! You want to be compared to one of the most dysfunctional characters in English literature? A violent, spousal abuser, probably guilty of murder with a penchant for digging up dead bodies.

Well, at least he's honest about something.

As an aisde, Heathcliff's love rival in the book, who eventually marries Cathy is called Linton. Now which former PM has that as one of his names?

The One That Is Naming And Shaming . . .

How very predictable, MPs have voted to keep the status quo in respect of their expenses.

What's more here is a list of those who use taxpayer's money to support their family.

Don't you love the smell of venality in the morning? The only thing that has shocked and surprised me is that I'm not shocked and surprised. Let's hope that those avaricious, arrogant and grasping . . . [I don't know, I don't have a word strong enough to express my disgust] lose their seats in the next election.

Here's a list of the offenders, and their majorities, may they be swept away.

Liz Blackman (Lab) - 7084
Bob Blizzard (Lab) - 5915
Nick Brown (Lab) - 7565
Andy Burnham (Lab) - 17,272
Alan Campbell (Lab) - 4143
Tony Cunningham (Lab) - 6895
Angela Eagle (Lab) - 9109
Maria Eagle (Lab) - 7193 (Twins, FFS!)
Caroline Flint (Lab) - 8598
Michael Foster (Lab) - 3144
Beverley Hughes (Lab) - 19, 417
Tessa Jowell (Lab) - 8807
Thomas McAvoy (Lab) - 16,112
Steve McCabe (Lab) - 5714
Shiobhain McDonagh (Lab) - 12,560
Tony McNulty (Lab) - 4730
Gillian Merron (Lab) - 4613
Mike O'Brien (Lab) - 7553
James Plaskitt (Lab) - 266 (Fuck me, I bet you shat yourself when Brown almost called an
election. Your arse is out of here, mate.)
Bridget Prentice (Lab) - 6751
Jacqui Smith (Lab) - 2716
Gerry Sutcliffe (Lab) - 4902
Mark Tami (Lab) - 8378
Gareth Thomas (Lab) - 2028
Derek Twigg (Lab) - 14606
Kitty Ussher (Lab) - 5778
Claire Ward (Lab) - 1148 (2% swing needed, you've had it as well, love.)
David Watts (Lab) - 13,962 (Fa fa fa fa fa fa fack off, with apologies to The Kinks)
Rosie Winterton (Lab) - 9802
Shaun Woodward (Lab) - 9309 (He's married to an heiress to the fucking Sainsbury fortune, for
crying out loud)
Iain Wright (Lab) - 7478


Now, tell me children, what links all those politicians. Hmmm? Well, yes they're all greedy fuckers who think it's a bloody liberty that we think we should somehow know what the cash they mug us for each month is spent on. Anything else?

Yessssss, that's right! Gold star! They're all from Labour.

Socialists? Preaching equality whilst sticking their porcine fucking snouts in the trough and avoiding any accountability? Who'd have thought it?

I hope they all catch bad aids.

The one that is pleased to see someone sticking it to them . . .

Good to read the reports of fishermen from around Europe (but mainly our Italian and French cousins) having a bit of a tear-up outside the EU Commission in Brussels, not that I'd ever condone civil disobedience. Well, perhaps a bit.

No prizes for guessing that the basis of the 'protest' was the price of fuel, in their case marine diesel which has gone up, well, lots recently. This hits the French fisherman particularly hard as it makes it very expensive for them all to go out and blockade harbours and ports in righteous indignation whenever the harbour master looks at them in a funny way or doesn't bless their barnacles, or whatever.

Whilst I respect the French fishermen for standing up for themsevles, I can't help thinking that they're a little shellfish (geddit? Sorry.) as they are protesting about the fact that the French government won't give them, and only them as fishermen, a break on the tax they pay on the diesel they use. Of course the French goverment shrug their shoulders in that oh so Gallic fashion. There's nothing they can do of course, it is all down to EU competition laws. Which as far as I can make out are there to stop any competition at all and make sure that the commission has complete control over every industry.

But here's the rub, EU rules state that VAT rate on fuel in member states MUST be at least 15%. Anything above that is down to the member state.

Let us just revisit that shall we? The EU says that we MUST charge 15% VAT minimum on fuel.

I'm not entirely happy about that, in fact, when the next election comes around, I think I'm going to vote for a different commissioner.

What? What's that you say? I can't vote for commissioners? Ahh, well that explains how Peter Mandelson is alive and getting paid as well (to mis-quote HMHB). That is why I hate this collection of dictatorial, unelected, grasping, sociopathic, fuckwits who are trying to run my country and my life and give me absolutely no say in it whatsoever.

It is exactly this sort of thing that makes we want to unwind razor wire and set tank traps on Camber Sands whilst wearing a tin helmet and singing Gracie Fields and Vera Lynn.

What a bunch of servile, arrogant fuckers, and what a bunch of fucking idiots we are to continually elect politicians who feather their own nests and sell more and more of our sovereignty down the river. The sooner we're rid of the shower of shite in Westminster and the absolute deluge of typhoid ridden shit in Brussels the better.

Now, where did I leave my barrage ballloon?