The One That Has Got The Painters In . . .

It's looking a little tired over here at the moment. The paint is chipped, there's a dirty great gouge in the wall from when I moved the Steinway. Apparently, keeping it next to the oven wasn't very good for it. And just look at that cigarette burn in the carpet, smoke all you like, but use a bloody ashtray won't you?

Anyhow, I'm going to give this place a bit of a spruce up, so don't be alarmed if you come and visit and it looks a bit, well, odd. I'm probably just arseing about with different colour schemes. Perhaps something in gold and purple brocade? Or perhaps velvet?

Anyhow, time to keep a promise I made, I had a lovely message from a chap called Paul at EU Referendum who was keen for me to promote his online petition to . . . well, I'm sure you can figure out what Paul wants. I want it as well. If you want it (no, not that, you filthy minded little skit) then toddle on over and sign the petition, I'll not be holding my breath though. The idea of petitions kind of pre-supposes we live in a democracy where our elected representatives actually give a fuck about what we want.

Oh yes, whilst we're on fiddly about farty arsed stuff, I've got myself on twitter. My name is, surprisingly, UKSnowolf. There's probably a widget I can add on here to promote the awesomeness of my incisive 140 character bon mots on the world in which we live, so I'll have a look about see if I can find it. Please follow me, my account has a big fat 0 where it says 'following' and lonliness is very bad for the ego.

Well, don't just stand there, put the dust sheets down, grab a brush, let's decorate this mother!

The One That Is Saying 'Run For The Hills!'. . .

The Labour Party has appointed the MP Kerry McCarthy as a "Twitter tsar" with responsibility for encouraging candidates to embrace social networking sites before the General Election.

Eh? Say what?

The MP for Bristol East, who was recently voted most 'influential' MP on Twitter with 1,879 followers, has been named as new media campaign spokesperson.

I've checked folks, it's August 17th, for one awful moment, I thought I fallen asleep and missed the autumn and new year.

A man looking for porn stumbles upon Kerry's twitter updates, earlier today.