The One That Wants To Know Why We Persist In It. . .

The EU, loathe it or hate it, you just can't bloody stand it.

Two stories today, courtesy of Nanny Beeb:

The UK's net contribution to the European Union will rise by almost 60% next year, the Treasury has said.

Well, we can have no argument against that, can we? It is such good value for money, and I certainly sleep well at night knowing that a robust accounting system means that every single penny spent can be explained in a satisfactory fashion.

The Treasury said it was right for the UK "to share the burden of membership with new accession countries".

Really? Excellent! Let's hope that is true across the board. I don't know who the Perm. Sec. at the Treasury is, but I'm betting he's a member of a golf club. Does this mean that if I join his club he'll stand my membership fees? He should also be aware that I have no interest in the rules of golf and no intention of abiding by those rules and will just spend all day poncing drinks off the other members whilst moaning about how terrible things were for me twenty years ago.

"The prime minister has made clear our belief is that it is right for us to share the burden of membership of the European Union with the new accession countries so that every part of the European Union can look forward to prosperity in the future," he added.

Prosperity? Future? What does the Gorgon know about it? He has neither. Give me fucking strength.

And then, when we pass a law that we actually want, we still can't enforce it because:

Dozens of prosecutions under a 1984 Act have been dropped because the government of the day failed to notify the European Commission about the law.

What fucking business is it of theirs?

I think I've finally figured it out. We're the kitchen cat. Our government is the Pantry Boy who has to account to Cook (in the form of the EC) for every action, movement and decision it takes. The Pantry Boy doesn't like this, so gives us a kick as we pass and makes us report to them in the same manner.

Why won't the Tories actually be different to ZNL by listening to their membership and push the question of our continued membership of this Kafkaesque organisation to the top of the agenda?

The One That Is Bored, Bored, Bored . . .

I've come to a startling revelation now, I am becoming that which I fear most.

You see, when I left uni, journalism degree in hand, the world was a wonderful place, full of promise and potential. Of course, it wasn't. It didn't take long for me to realise that unless your uncle is editor of this, or your Godfather is friends with that chap, the chances of getting a proper journo staff post are next to nil. As a stop-gap I took a job in the civil service.

Fast forward eight years. Here I am sat a desk at ten to two in the morning in a government office in Kent with absolutely fuck all to do. Nothing, nada, zip, etc, etc. And YOU are paying for me to be here.

I don't want to be here. I want to do a job where I can go home at the end of the working day and feel I have accomplished something beyond moving some papers from one tray to another.

No problem, Wolfers, I hear you say, you seem to be a fairly erudite chap with his head screwed firmly on, this shouldn't present a problem. But here's the rub; after eight years my skills have gone. I have nothing, nothing, to offer private industry, my work history and skills are either irrelevant, obsolete or so job-specific that the only place to which they can apply is where I am sitting writing this. I have sent off numerous job applications all of which are ignored or attract the standard 'thanks but no thanks' reply.

So it seems I am doomed to become one of the useless, slapdash, lazy, grey, unambitious, obstructive, officious and parochial civil servants that are so rightly lambasted in the Libertarian blogosphere.

It gets better. It is now almost impossible to transfer out of my civil service department, such are the pressures on staff figures. It's not that we don't have enough, there's hundreds of us in this department's office in Kent alone, it's just that our management are so feckless and stupid that they are incapable of deploying the staff effectively. Of course our equipment doesn't work properly, our annual reports are politicised, our accommodation is laughable and our management hostile, such is their desire to clamber and shit over everybody else to get noticed and perhaps (gasp) get a job up in the smoke. But that's all OK, as we have a bloody great big list of diversity courses, management questionnaires and staff surveys to take. Let's tick another fucking box, it doesn't actually mean that anyone wants to DO anything. We used to want to do things, but they make it so bloody difficult it just isn't worth the hassle. Minute the file, stick it in the pending tray for the next person to decide it just isn't worth the hassle, who can then minute the file and stick it in the pending tray for the next person to deci . . . well, you get the idea.

The most sickening thing is, I can't afford to leave. The wages in Kent are shit. I live in the most populous county in England, certainly one of the most expensive, and yet the wages are a pittance. I'm mortgaged to these buggers, and they know it. I am earning above the national average by some considerable distance, not stellar cash, but a decent whack. Nothing in the area comes close to matching this, I simply can't afford to drop down.

I could work in London, but I'd only be earning the same as I am here, and would have to factor the cost of travel up to town (damn expensive) and the time it takes the train to cover the 60 mile distance to town - almost two hours. Even then, the application process is a bloody joke. If you want promotion, you have to 'evidence' (I didn't realise it was a verb) the skills and experience needed. Of course you don't have them, so they have an assessment centre where you jump through hoops labelled 'diversity champion', 'synergies', 'change agent', 'cock-gobbler' and the like, there's no actual assessment of your ability to do the job. I'm afraid that I am just not politically acceptable to those making the judgements at these centres, I don't get their language, it's all Emperor's New Clothes stuff.

I work shifts, they are quite flexible, but it is impossible to commit to any outside training, because you just can't be sure that you'll be able to attend classes or courses due to their random nature.

Once again, I point out that YOU are paying for this. Actually, thanks, you've enabled me to do what I went to university for. I'm getting paid to write this.

Seriously, any suggestions most welcome. I am terrified of being sat here in five, ten, fifteen years time - a bitter old dinosaur who delights in frustrating proper and constructive change, ideas or work.