Adverts we'll never see again - Part 7.

Oh I do like to be beside the seaside, but no-one has told me how to do it.

I'm struggling to comprehend this:

A council spokeswoman said: "Data has shown there are people who don't go to the beach.

"We have families in Margate and Ramsgate - the more deprived areas - who have never taken their children."

She said when children from Newington Kids Club in Ramsgate were taken to Dumpton Gap, some of them said they had never been to the beach before.

And when council project officers go into schools, they regularly ask children if they have visited the beach. In nearly every session, there are some children who say no.

Whoa there. You mean to tell me that the reason some parents have never put a pair of shoes on and walked, for free, to the beach, which is free, in their own town is because they are deprived?

*boggle*

That is to say, that it has never occurred to these parents, on a nice day in the school holidays when the kids are bored and climbing the walls to take them down to the bloody beach?

Thanet (Ramsgate, Margate & Broadstairs) has much going against it, however one of the greatest strengths it has are its beaches, most of which are gorgeous sandy affairs. Ramsgate has a corker, Margate's beach is enormous, literally a five minute walk from the town centre and probably the only high spot in a town which is so faded it is almost transparent. Just outside Broadstairs is the sublime Joss Bay, a beach so beautiful that it could make angels cry, it has surf, numerous rockpools, caves, sea eroded arches in the magnificent cliffs that surround the beach which can be explored at low tide. It's a great place, look:

You see? Who wouldn't want to take their kids there? Which child wouldn't want to go and play in the rock pools looking for crabs and shellfish, or explore the caves and arches? Incidentally, through that arch you see is another enormous beach which on the far side turns into a moonscape of chalky rocks, it really is a wonderful place. And it is free.

How is being deprived preventing you from using this?

Still somebody has a job to protect and so has made sure that a problem is identified. Of course now that the problem has been identified, we need the solution. Can we guess what it is?

The authority has received £100,000 from the Big Lottery Fund to encourage locals to explore the coast.

Whaaaaaaat? A hundred grand, to tell people to walk out from their own bloody front door? You are joking aren't you?

No, of course not, these are council people, their sense of humour is surgically removed upon induction to the office.

OK, look, perhaps an advertising campaign for the beaches isn't such a bad idea, there are people from all over Kent who would love using them, plus it could bring some much needed revenue into the towns. It's going to stop there though, isn't it?

Activities coming up include a fun day on Margate beach and a "fit and healthy" day on the sands at Ramsgate.

Oh, no, come on, you're ruining it. A fit and healthy day? Why does everything councils touch have to turn to bland? Kids don't want that, they want danger, excitement. They want pirates and smugglers, they want a tide race. A tide race is so fun that it would probably be banned if it became widespread. The idea is that on a sandy beach you divvy people up into teams and at low tide, with the aid of shovels, you dig out and build the biggest sand castle you can, at the sound of a whistle, everyone in each team has to jump on, the tide comes in and the last team to be washed away wins.

But no, it'll have to be an eco-friendly, tofu pimping, five-a-day, socially inclusive, fit and healthy fun day.

Give me strength.

Once again, the state steps in and tells parents; "we will tell you how to raise your kids. Indeed, you can't be trusted, so we'll do it for you."

This is why kids aren't being taken to the beach - it's nothing to do with deprivation, it's to do with being told that your kids aren't your responsibility and you can only do things when someone organises it for you.

How very tragic.

A thing of rare beauty.

Nick over at Counting Cats has written the most delicious article on, errrm, hang on, I'll just go check I've got this right. . .

*door slams, footsteps running off*






*footsteps running back, door opening*

. . . on Palaeoclimatology.

No, no, no, no, noooooo, wait.

It's bloody superb. I'd try to pick out the highlights, but the whole bloody thing is a highlight.

Do go and check it out, the science seems junkier than a Chinese trading vessel, and Nick's comments made me laugh until spaghetti came out of my nose (I was eating a carbonara at the time of reading).

Adverts we'll never see again - Part 6.

Oh, how wonderfully generous.

Earth hour.

Wow.

I mean, wow.

Another example of world-class attention-whoring 'Oooh! Oooh! Look at me! I'm, like, soooooooo important.'

Of course, if it were that important that the lights go out for an hour, they'd be pressing for it to be done at half-four on a Wednesday afternoon in January, not the night before the bloody clocks go forward, so it obviously isn't THAT important, is it?

Another empty gesture to let everyone feel like they're making a difference.

Predictably the BBC are all over it like a 70's powder blue suit on a Nigerian visa applicant.

"It gives everyone the chance to have some fun, to organise their own events, and at the same time be part of an incredibly powerful global message to world leaders of the concern we all share about climate change."

Oh! Rapture! Wherever would we be without the benign and guiding hand of the WWF giving us, us, mere mortals, the chance to have some fun? I'm completely incapable of having fun without some jumped up self important bunch of panda botherers telling me how to do it. Not only that, but they're going to let me organise my own event! I need to lie down, the power is going to my head.

Look, arseholes, we do not all share your concerns about climate change. So, in future, when tempted to speak for me, why not try keeping your fucking mouths shut?

I liked it better when the WWF was all about Steve Austin wrapping a folding chair around the Undertaker's head.

Selfishness and self-fulfilling prophecies.

Ever feel like you've been played for a fool?

 

I'm not sure why there's a big banner with Thatcher on it, though. Are these people aware that she left Number 10 over twenty years ago? You may as well march around with a banner proclaiming William I to be a bit of a rotter. Let it go.

I really do have sympathy for those staring down the barrel of the cuts, people are going to lose their jobs and that sucks. There are some who will imply that a large number of the (TUC) estimated 200,000 people are lazy, feckless and incompetent. A number of them will be, but nowhere near as much as some would have you believe. There are some who will imply that an equally large number of those marching will be of the opinion that that it is just and right that money be taken from people to fund their job whether it needs doing or not. Again, a number of them will be, but nowhere near as much as some would have you believe. There are also some who would have you believe that the majority of these people would protest against a Tory government regardless of what policies they put in place. Well, you get where I'm coming from.

What frustrates me are the simple facts that have been ignored and will continue to be ignored by the Unions. Firstly there is the myth that these cuts are savage. They aren't. Not even close. These cuts represent the bare minimum that any government who wants to present even a pretence at cutting the defecit could make. Government spending is increasing, taxation on the public is increasing. This is because of the enormous interest payments we must make. Government borrowing has never been greater.

Many Trade Unionists were howling with rage at Osborne's comments about the 50% income tax band being temporary. These Trade Unionists demand that their livelihoods be protected whilst others have their's ripped from them. They see no irony or disparity in this. The self proclaimed great bastions of equality and solidarity would happily see people left destitute. 'Oh, come on.' I hear you say. 'These people are rich, they can afford it.' Well, yes. But how long will they put up with it? With the sort of cash and skills they have, any country in the world would welcome them with open arms. What happens to the employees when the rich up sticks and move, taking their business with them? What then for the cleaners and clerks? The production line employees and drivers? The shop stewards? What happens when these people lose their jobs? When their tax revenue dries up? You think the cuts are savage now?

The marchers have been whipped up into a state of hysteria by the Trade Unions. It is all very well Brendan Barber, Mark Serwotka and Bob Crow calling for strikes, their very handsome pay packets are not subject to being docked when their members go out on strike. What do they care if someone loses a day's, two day's, a week's wages? Having used their muscle to get their man in the big chair at the Labour party against the wishes of the party membership, they will do anything to destabilise the government and have their puppet put in place, dancing on the end of a string which they hold in their fist. The multitude marching are footsoldiers in this campaign, unquestioningly following the orders handed down to them by their own 50% tax paying overlords. And they are paying for the privilege. I'd be speechless in admiration of the genius if it wasn't so utterly sinister.

We then have the political placemen in councils and government departments all over the country. After thirteeen years of Labour rule, the placemen in government departments accounts for pretty much all the senior managers, Labour ensured this was the case. Before the cuts they warned it was front-line services that would be hit, and by God they've made sure their prophecy has come true. I've seen it in my own department; front line staff being given the elbow whilst the cake eating, tofu promoting, community cohesion diversity outreach social engagement inclusivity officers continue to take home one and a half times the wage of those being given the heave-ho. Is it Cameron and Osborn handing out the P45's? No, it is those people installed by Labour ensuring their prophecies come to pass.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, there is no magic money tree. We have spent the last thirteen years spending, spending, spending, spending, spending, borrowing, borrowing, borrowing, borrowing, borrowing, taxing, taxing, taxing, taxing. The amount taken from us makes us the most taxed people in the world, the amount raised does not match the amount borrowed, the amount borrowed is less still than the amount spent, the amount that continues to be spent. It is always the result of a Labour government.

For thirteen years the Trade Unions have known about it, and they said nothing. They ceased to be bodies representing their members a long time ago, they are now political entities seeking to impose their view without recourse to anything as grubby as democracy. Their silence over the last thirteen years, when they knew full well that the cuts would come in the end, is a betrayal of their members. Now to further their own ends, they send their troops into battle. Sure some of them will fall, but what does it matter? They still have their £145,000 a year pay packets and now they have the leader of the opposition in their pockets.

This is not some idealogical crusade by the Conservatives, they'd spend like a drunken sailor in port to cement their own position, if they could - the fact is that they've smashed open the piggy bank to find a button, a washer and a startled spider are the contents. There is no money. OK? There is no money. Remember the letter? There is no money. I don't know how much more clearly it can be said. There is no money. There is no money. There is no money.

God help us if we end up in the same position as Greece, Ireland and Portugal, because there will be no bail-out. We'll be on our own. Or worse still, there will be a bail-out, and the strings that come attached do not bear thinking about.

I have a friend due to give birth in June. It will be her first child. I submit that it is the height of selfishness to expect this unborn child to spend their entire life in penury, just so you can continue your lifestyle of new telly, regular clothes purchases, meals out, cinema tickets and two holidays a year.

As a Trade Union member you'll have to accept that if you voted Labour (and you probably did) that you voted for this, you voted for the spending. You believed Gordon when he banged on about prudence and golden rules. When everyone else was warning you about it, you ignored them, because life was so good. It was so easy.

Like I said, it sucks. It is horrible. But like the alcoholic who has just one more drink, the smackhead who needs just one final hit, you've allowed yourself to become addicted to the cash. Well, I'm sorry, you do not have the right to demand money from the unborn. Granted, you didn't spend the cash, but you gave the OK for people to do it for you. You have the right to vote, but all rights come with responsibilities. You exercised your right. It is now time to be responsible.

The really mindblowing thing is that Labour will be back in power again one day. You'll put them there. Despite every lesson of history telling you otherwise, you'll expect a different outcome next time. It is insanity.

Adverts we'll never see again - Part 5.

Obrigado, Portugal.

It would seem that the economically functioning part of the Eurozone (and no doubt those EU members with the common sense to have stayed out of the Euro as well) will have to put their hands in their pockets to support the economically destitute part again.

According to the BBC, the Portuguese parliament has voted down the budget of spending cuts and tax rises which the Prime Minister was kinda banking on. As a result he's resigned and there will likely be an election to follow.

I'm delighted, OK, it may cost us a few more million, but to be honest, we're so in hock at the moment, it doesn't really matter. But this will cause more discontent in Germany. They grumbled over Greece, there was even the stamping of feet over Ireland, who knows what reaction this will bring forth, as a bail-out is pretty much a certainty.

Empires tend to evolve into existence, and with a couple of exceptions, tend to fade away. Like all quick build projects, the EU was made of concrete, it is cracked and the water is seeping in. As soon as that happens the fate of the building is sealed. Portugal is another squall.

Portugal can be bailed out, it won't empty the coffers completely, but what it will do is increase the burden further. Portugal is in this mess because they've had the same problems as Greece and Ireland, but here's the important bit - not as bad. But as people ran from Greece to Ireland in panic over their government bonds, they've also run in panic from Ireland to Portugal. As soon as everyone breathes a sigh of relief over their Portuguese bonds, they'll go running to the next worst place, Spain. If Spain goes under, then all bets are off, there's no halfway practical way that Spain can be bailed out, there just isn't the money. The financial institutions will complain loudly enough, but what happens when the people on the street find their taxes put up to bail out a foreign power?

Van Remploy and Barroso can go on about nation states not existing as much as they like, but they'll find out how many people reject that notion when the industrialised workers of the Rhineland find their savings being raided again to bail out a load of Portuguese and Spanish fishermen.

We owe the Portuguese parliament a debt of thanks, because the only way we're going to get out of the EU anytime soon is via financial collapse, there's not a hope of us being given a referendum.

Of course, the irony is that the Portuguese have rejected it because the idea of the something for nothing, big brothers and sisters picking up the bill culture winking out of existence is just too horrible to consider. They honestly think that by rejecting the budget they're ensuring the continuation of the life they've become accustomed to over the last 21 years. They're not. The other irony is, that by rejecting the budget, they are ensuring their indebtedness to the machine. Had they passed it, following an extended period of discomfort they'd have probably come out the other side.

However, their actions may, just, provide our salvation.

There's one for you, nineteen for me. . .

I just love being told how much of my money some twat who I, and most other people, never voted for, will allow me to keep.

Happy budget day, people.

Adverts we'll never see again - Part 4.