The One That Thinks It Matters Very Much. . .

How often do we hear the phrase 'there's no point in voting, they're all the bloody same, aren't they?'

And one can only say 'Yes.'






'And no.' It's ok, I'm not about to embark on some puff peice of how life would be all fluffy bunnies and singing birdies if only we all voted LPUK, even if I do think life would be considerably better.

I'll provide some evidence that both the main parties are as similar as makes no difference. The first article (with a hat-tip to Old Holborn) shows plans by that loathsome, dictatorial arse-clown Brown to effectively do away with Coroner's inquests. If it is judged in the 'national interest' (Oh yeah, by whom? Oh? MP's? There's a startling fucking surprise) then they could be held in camera. The second, which was brought to my attention by Obnoxio the Clown, shows that the Tories are positively itching to delve into as many facets of our lives as they possibly can.

Yep, they are just about the same. Nineteen Eighty-Four, telescreens, Thought Police and so forth. Of course all this is down to our old friend, Security Reasons (Nurse! The Pills! The Pills!).

The first idea is to ensure that the national interest is protected. Let's not mince words here, it isn't the national interest, it is in the interests of your party not looking like a bunch of right schmucks because somebody has carped it due to your actions.

The second stems from legislation that no doubt bore the tag 'in extreme circumstances' when added to the statute, it amounts to the poor old chap nicked for taking a picture of a cop-car. I'll go back to 1984 and direct you all to the passage from 'The Book' entitled 'Chapter III - War is Peace.'

I hate this, I hate them, and given the opportunity would probably quite happily visit physical pain upon their persons. They are the worst of the hubristic mediocre who will not rest until they control absolutely every single aspect of your existence. So don't bloody let them. You still have that ability, in the name of Mary, mother of God, Jesus and all the little orphans, use that ability because they WILL take it away from you.

Do not vote for these arseholes, vote for anybody, anybody else. Come the next election, if there is no LPUK candidate in my constituency I'll vote for some single-issue indie. Some guy with a beard, a jumper and a pipe who needs to get into Westminster because the council won't build a hedgehog underpass. Let's fill the house with them.

Just get these bastards, of all political colours, out of our wallets and out of our lives, because if we don't in fifteen years you'll all be asking 'How did this happen? Why do I need a permit to travel from Devon to Cornwall?' (Security Reasons) 'Why do I have a centrally, government issued email address which is monitored?' (Security Reasons) 'Why do my babies have to have their DNA taken at birth?' (Crime Prevention) 'Why have elections been suspended?' (National Interest, Emergency Measures) 'Why do I need an exit visa to leave the country?' (Integrity of Borders)

I'll be able to tell you, but you'll have to call me whilst I live in another country far, far away from here. And you'll probably have to book the call in advance. And you know that someone will be listening in, I mean, you could be talking to a terrorist, a climate change denier, someone who will say that children are obese, or will denounce the glory of the European Federation, anybody.

The One That Wants To Bow Out In Style Like This. . .

A civil servant colleague of mine has left the building (a reccurring theme in my work-place at present) his 'Out of Office Assistant' now returns the following (sanitised) message when you send an email to his account:

'Fortunately I no longer work for XXXXX. I have escaped the Peoples' Socialist Republic of Britain and will be enjoying the benefits of a civilised country.'

He's off with his good lady wife to live in British Columbia, and I wish them the best of luck. It's an idea I am giving very serious consideration to.

Would the last person out please switch off the lights?