The One That Is Saying 'You Want To Do WHAT!?!?'. . .

Private security firms employ staff to guard buildings and manage entry into nightclubs.

Under the new scheme bouncers and security staff will have the authority to stop cars for checking and issue fines and penalty notices.

Hang on, I'll read that again. . .

No. I wasn't wrong, it did actually say that bouncers will have the authority to stop cars for checking (checking for what? Bald tyres? Red diesel? Drunk drivers? Guns in the boot?) and issue fines and penalty notices.

It's ok though because:

The Home Office says those using the powers have been vetted and trained.

This is the same Home Office who employed illegal immigrants to work for their own security teams.

And:

The powers are granted by chief constables, and those who are accredited must undergo vetting and training and wear badges and uniforms approved by their local police force.

That makes me feel a whole lot better, a private company in the shape of ACPO will give other private companies uniforms and badges which will allow them to declare us offenders and fine us money.

That's private companies. Corporatism was one of the first steps Hitler took in his little adventure in the 30's. Get the big businessmen addicted with an unelected vested interest in government, and watch the opposition melt away, starved of funds and exposure.

I've always felt we've attracted a number of the tin foil hat brigade, I just can't work out if I'm becoming one of them, or if what they've been saying all this time has more credibility than I'd, well, given them credit for.

Doesn't matter, because it will all be fair and above board, nothing could go wrong, could it?

Parking enforcement officers face "humiliation" if they fail to meet their targets for issuing parking fines, their unions have claimed.

Parking attendants have told the BBC this means some tickets are issued when there is no real justification.

Ah.

So who runs these parking enforcement officers?

Are they in the main local council employees, or are they subcontracted to firms like Serco and Crapita?

Just asking.

One said that every day he was forced to issue tickets that his management knew would be overturned.

"They don't care if they will be appealed, they just want the numbers," he said.

"The bosses tell you to issue tickets even when they know there is a fault in signage.

"Drivers are unjustly battered with tickets and if we don't do it we lose our jobs."

But it is all above board.

"If you hit or exceed the targets you get favours, swapping shifts, and most importantly, if you hit the targets you get overtime.

"People get fired for not reaching their targets."

So obviously there's no incentive to stick tickets on cars willy-nilly. That's fine.

But the British Parking Association (BPA) which represents companies who employ parking attendants said it was against ticket-targeting and was making efforts to combat the practice.

A spokesman said: "The BPA considers ticket target-setting totally unacceptable, and as a member organisation we strive to make sure that parking control is about improving the streets, and not making money."

That's fine then, if anything goes wrong the BPA will sort it out! We can all relax then. Nothing to see here, move on.

No really, move along, or that shaved gorilla wearing a ridiculous bow-tie will ticket you for loitering and then punch you so hard in the kidneys that you'll be pissing blood for a week.

And I would just like to point out that if you see any connection between the two stories above, then it marks you out as a nazi-racist-bigot, and probably a paedophile as well. So keep your mouth shut, prole.

The One That Fails To See Why They Don't Understand. . .

And so it continues. This morning it is Hoon up to his bollocks in shit, with a story about how he claimed expenses for his constituency home whilst living in a grace and favour flat and letting out his London home.

Hoon has defended the story by saying it was within the rules.

Look, you stupid bastard, if the rules said that I had carte blanche to piss through my neighbour's letterbox and run down the cats on my street in my car, it wouldn't make it right would it? If I did those things, it wouldn't make me any less of an arsehole.

What you, and all the other snout-troughing venal arseclowns have done may (or may not) be within the rules. If it is within the rules, it is still wrong. Saying it is within the rules and then being given the all clear doesn't make us think you are OK. We still think you are a corrupt fucker stealing money from us, acting like a wanker when you get all upset over scans of expenses being touted around the media makes you look even more stupid.

This whole story about the scans being touted for £300k is an interesting one. The way the politicians have acted has been shameful. I don't blame whoever it is who has these scans trying to make a few quid, after all £300k is about two years' expenses for an MP.

Are they complaining about this chap making some cash? If so, cut the ground out from underneath him, publish and be damned. No? Didn't think so. For all the protestations about leaks and theft and ethics, the fact of the matter is that there are 646 people who are desperate to prevent anyone getting any info on their expenses. We're all told it's to do with security. Yeah, right. Well, a bit, because every time these expenses are leaked, the MP concerned is worried about a mob descending on his/her home with pitchforks and flaming torches. These itemised expenses records should be a matter of public record, right from the off.

MPs are like the smart-arsed prick at school no-one could stand. Spotty, greasy, shabby, no friends and a little weed. Who then decides to make smart-arsed remarks to the year's hard-nut and then wonders why he gets a smack in the chops for it.

STOP STEALING OUR BLOODY MONEY, THEN WE MAY NOT TAKE SUCH A CLOSE INTEREST IN HOW YOU SPUNK IT AWAY.

The One That Demands They Shut The Hell Up. . .

Not content with taking money from your pockets and handing it over to charities in the form of your taxes (remember this is the cash that is taken from you under the threat of sending you to prison with all those nasty bin over-fillers and people who take photos in public spaces, if you don't pay up) the Treasury Select Committee has now demanded that more of our taxes be handed out to 'Charities' that lost millions in the Icelandic banking collapse.

All those collectors on the high street, taking your bank details, but not your cash. All those crises that desperately needed cash to urgently tackle the problem of X, all that money was taken and lodged into a bank as an investment.

And having paid out, either by choice or having it ripped from your pay-packet, the Treasury Select Committee wants you to pay again for the charities avarice and incompetence.

But not for the avarice and incompetence of the local authorities, who lost even more of our money, ripped from us and hoarded in Icelandic banks.

I think we can assume when the soup kitchens and doss houses spring up as we spiral to bankruptcy, they will be funded by these charities and not by the local authorities. How will that lump of bread and bowl of broth taste, knowing you've paid for it twice, and will get to eat it only if you pass the completely subjective assessment of a member of the Righteous?

If you've not been, go and have a look at Fake Charities.

The One That Feels For The Scapegoat. . .

Can you hear that dripping sound? Listen carefully, that is the sound of my heart bleeding.

Poor old Rose Gibb, I blogged yesterday about this horrible woman, well she's started her case in court today, and you know what, it just isn't fair.

I might have got her wrong.

According to her testimony, the Healthcare Commission's report into the state of hygeine in Maidstone & Tunbridge Wells NHS was 'full of inaccuracies, innuendo and unfounded criticisms' and that she disagreed with the findings. She has also said that she resigned as she 'understood that this [her treatment] was a reaction to the impending HCC report to manage the public and any fallout. I was to be the scapegoat.'

Scapegoat? You were the Chief Executive of an almost criminally dirty hospital, indeed if memory serves correct, Al-Beeb made an undercover report into conditions in another hospital in M&TW NHS Trust.

Damn right you carry the can, you were getting paid £150k per annum, so you'd better take fucking responsibility. How I long for a job where I can get that amount (and probably a tasty bonus as well) and then absolve myself of any fault if it all goes tits up.

I hope you lose your house, AND contract an illness which requires you get treatment in a hospital as filthy as the one you ran.