The One That Wonders If They Can Stoop Any Lower. . .

Labour MP Frank Cook claimed on expenses for a £5 church donation he made at a Battle of Britain memorial service, the Sunday Telegraph reports.

I mean, seriously, how cheap do you have to be to do that? How little respect can you have?

The MP for Stockton-on-Tees submitted the 2006 claim with a handwritten note, but it was later rejected by the Commons Fees Office, the paper says.

So there may be someone in the Fees Office with something approaching some common sense after all then.

Mr Cook said he did not recall the claim and described it as "a mistake".

Hang on, if you didn't recall it, how can you explain it away as a mistake? I've never been in the position where I've filled in a claim for the Commons Fees Office, but I'm assuming that a handwritten note goes something like this:

Dear Fees Office Minion,

I made a £5 donation to a church the other day. They didn't give a receipt. Please cough up.

Yours etc,

Frank Crook

Oh, sorry, that should have said Cook.

Mistake? What did you mean to write instead? You donated £50? £500? It may only be a fiver, and at that a fiver you were told to go and whistle for, but that is irrelevant. What sort of complete cock-monkey, arse-clown fucktard puts in an expenses claim for a donation to charity? And one that I should imagine is not fed at the expense of the taxpayer.

Twat.

The One That Thinks He Should Be Left At Home. . .

This arrogant fucking cretin is Dwain Chambers.

He is a proven drugs cheat. He cynically and knowingly took performance enhancing drugs contrary to the rules of the sport which he claims to love and was banned when he was caught out.

He took THG, this is a drug that was designed to be invisible to the doping testers, it has no other purpose than to illegally enhance the performances of the athletes that take it. No excuse of taking a lemsip for a cold or an anadin for a hurty leg skewing the test results.

Chambers purposefully set out to deceive the testers, comeptitors, spectators and sponsors of his sport and was rightly banned.

Now we see the whinging little fucker in the High Court trying to get an injunction against the British Olympic Association and their rule that a drugs cheat cannot represent GB&NI in any further Olympic Games.

This is not a retrospective ruling and has been in force for some years. When Chambers took his drugs to gain an unfair advantage over his clean competitors, he knew the risks. When he was caught he was aware that that was his Olympic career over.

Tough fucking titty sunshine.

He now moans that it is unfair restraint of trade. Well boo fucking hoo. If a paediatric nurse is convicted of child sex crimes and banned for life for working with children, can they claim unfair restraint of trade as well? No. Because they've demonstrated that they can't be fucking trusted. Same goes for you.

I hope he bloody loses his case. A few ancillary points:

- This is none of the High Court's business. The BOA are not a public organisation, it's up to them who they pick.

- He's going to win bugger all anyway. I doubt he'd make the final.

- The rest of your prospective team-mates probably want you nowhere near them.

- You send out a shite message to young athletes.

- The Olympics will probably be lousy with drug cheats. I don't care particularly about the games themselves, but I do care about some fucktard dragging our country's already bad name through the mud, just because you want to go 'and have some fun in Beijing.'

At least have the good grace to look ashamed that you got caught. You arrogant, self centred prick. I hope you break your legs.

Actually, anyone got Tonya Harding's number?