The One That Says They've Got It Wrong, Wrong, Wrong. . .

The Joseph Rowntree Reform Trust has released a document about the 'database state'. The report opens with a preamble detailing the loss of data by HMRC and goes on to make the claim that many of these Government databases are illegal.

You'll get no argument from me on that point.

What is disappointing is the way that these charities always have to have an angle. I don't know much about the Joseph Rowntree Trust as a whole, other than the fact that they have many strings to their bow, I know nothing of their funding nor their political affiliations or leanings.

It is heartening to see that they have decided to speak out against this mania for measuring, recording and controlling every facet of our lives, but they haven't half gone about it in a half-arsed way.

They've spoken about how these databases present a danger to young black men, single parents and children. Well, yes. That's correct, but why pick on the dog-whistle groups? These databases and the appalling security record of the public sector in the field of data security pose a danger to every single one of us.

Come on, use your brain, this paternalistic and patronising attitude has to stop if there is to be any credibility about your report. Don't fall into the Righteous trap, speak out for all of us, not just those who you feel are incapable of speaking out for themselves. I am neither black, a child, nor a parent, single or otherwise. Were it not for my civil liberties interest, I would have looked at these headlines and decided 'Doesn't apply to me, not interested, next.'

If the headlines said that this poses a threat to you, no matter who you are, you'd find interest was much higher.

Perhaps if we spent more time focusing on what binds us together rather than that which seperates us, we'd have a much more cohesive voice. It is in the interests of the status quo for our differences to be pointed out and amplified at every turn.

Must do better.

The One That Wonders If They've Looked Behind The Fridge. . .

If you lose something, it's nearly always behind the fridge, or down the back of the sofa.

ID Cards anyone?

Dear Proles,

Rest assured that your personal data will be perfectly safe, in secure contracted storage provided for and by the government by reputable companies with an unequalled track record in the area of data storage.

Everyone's DNA, financial, social security, criminal and medical data will be stored on a number of CD's which will be kept at a high security unit to which access is restricted to the most essential users. These users are highly trained professionals who will safeguard this most personal of information, right up until they want to see which specialist German porn sites you visited in 2007 and then leave the CD on top of the fridge in the kitchen area, on a first class seat on the 0815 from Sevenoaks to Charing Cross, or inadvertently give away with the Mail on Sunday.

Then you'll be fucked.

However, rest assured that lessons will be learned and pauses will be taken for reflection before we predictably hand out another fucking huge contract for these incompetent bastards to overspend, go over deadline and generally make an arse up of things.

Love,

A Senior Civil Servant.

Yes folks, EDS have provided the latest entry in the log marked 'We'd manage to lose an Elephant in a modern two bed terrace.'

Armed Forces Minister Bob Ainsworth told MPs the information, which went missing at an EDS site in Hampshire, was "unlikely" to have been encrypted.

Oh good.

HOW MANY MORE TIMES?

It really does beggar belief. This is the situation that the word 'incredible' was invented for, as it really does lack any degree of credibility that this situation could be repeated ad infinitum.

Lessons learned? Must be on the new A-Level syllabus then.

F-, see teacher.

Just as an aside, I have a large collection of CD's, they are kept unencrypted, in their cases, in the cupboard at the top of my stairs. I'll have to do a quick audit, but you'd be surprised at the number of CD's I've spectacularly failed to lose over the years.